Crazy parenting story

[jasonf]

Posted: 6/24/12 at 4:00pm

We were in Barnes and Noble this afternoon getting a snack at the coffee shop. A mother came in with her two little ones - three and four years old maybe. She went up to the counter, ordered herself a drink -- and then ordered mini versions of the same espresso laden coffee she wanted to give the kids. Then, as she tried to "prepare their coffee for them" (her words) they grabbed everything off the counter (milk containers, straws, napkins etc) and either dumped them or put their mouths on them.

The little boy then decided to walk away. The mother called after him "Christopher! Stay here. Christopher! One. Two.....Christopher come here!" In the end, she chased after him to grab him from knocking a Nook display over.

We left after that, but in a total of two minutes that was amongst the worst parenting I've ever seen.

[dramamama611]

Posted: 6/24/12 at 4:27pm

You didn't see parenting, at all. You saw what brats the children had become because of a lack of parenting. (Of course, it could have been just a really horrible day.


To be fair....my son has loved coffee since he was about 15 months old. Not that I ever bought him one, but he drinks it know at 11. (Caffiene free.) I let him have his first sip thinking he would hate it and stop asking for it. He loved it.

[TheatreDiva90016]

Posted: 6/24/12 at 4:33pm

I'm sure they were on their way to throw trash into the 9-11 fountains.

[romantico]

Posted: 6/24/12 at 4:44pm

I think everyone has seen stuff like this.Check out the Kids throwing trash in the 911 Memorial Fountain thread. Parents are afraid to discipline their kids,more so in public.

I was a the supermarket one day not long ago and heard all the way on one side of the store this kid screaming. This was not a kid throwing a tantrum. This was a kid who, in my opinion, was screaming in pain.A blood curdling scream that got everyone's attention. This went on for about ten minutes. With every scream it got louder and louder as I got closer and closer.

Finally, I got to the other side of the store I saw the kid screaming in the carriage.His Mom was right there talking to another Mom. Not sure if anyone has seen these carriages at the grocery store that look like cars for the kids. They have steering wheels and everything. Well, the kid who was screaming continued while another kid (a few years older)had opened the sharpie markers they were buying and had literally vandalized this carriage.The package with these markers were in the carriage. Numbers and letters and scribbles all over the plastic carriage.The Mom had apparently not noticed that her other kid was drawing all over the carriage because she was talking to this other Mom.

I can not imagine allowing a parent letting their kid scream like this for ten minutes or more but she was just ignoring it.I got there right when the Mom noticed the scribbles all over the carriage. She said something like,'we'll have to wash that off'. Another woman said to her, 'That's a sharpie.It will never come off. The carriage is ruined. What a shame. You should tell one of the cashiers that YOUR CHILD ruined this carriage.' The Mom dismissed it and assured her it would wash right off but she had no time to do it herself. The kid was still screaming as they continued shopping.

I wish I had said something to the Mother but I know it would not have gone over very well. I think the store manager should have approached the Mother and told her to have that kid STFU NOW! I also think the store manager should have called the mother out over the carriage covered in scribbles.Nowadays businesses don't want to upset customers or call them out for bad behavior.

[TheatreDiva90016]

Posted: 6/24/12 at 4:59pm

My very first apartment back in college was right above the swimming pool, and to this day there are two phrases that will send me over the edge.

1: MARCO! POLO!
Or
2: MOMMIE! WATCH THIS! MOMMIE! WATCH ME!!!

For hours on end.

I would go out and watch the parents and they were too busy talking to each other that they totally tuned out the yelling of their own children. Finally I would scream out, 'Hey lady! Your kid has been screaming at you to watch them for over an hour. Could you just watch them once?!'

[Popular]

Posted: 6/24/12 at 7:43pm

Spend a day at work with me investigating allegations of child abuse and neglect. It'll give you perspective and redefine "bad parenting" for you LOL

I'm not saying that what you saw wasn't obnoxious, and yes, giving coffee to such young kids is definitely considered inappropriate by our cultural standards. Either way, I'm honestly glad that was the worst you've ever seen. Lucky you.

[TheatreDiva90016]

Posted: 6/24/12 at 7:50pm

I just got back from the store and was laughing while watching a couple just let their child run his small shopping cart into whatever he wanted to. He was bashing every display he could find. They just stood there and laughed!

So, when their backs were turned, I put a big bottle of vodka in the kids cart...

Updated On: 6/24/12 at 07:50 PM

[jasonf]

Posted: 6/24/12 at 9:16pm

Well, to be fair, I may have exaggerated it being the WORST (I am a teacher, after all), but I will say given the extremely short time frame (that was all within an under two minute time frame) it was the highest concentration of bad parenting I've seen.

I realize there are parents who abuse their kids and do far worse - it just shocks me to see that level of incompetency.

[SNAFU]

Posted: 6/24/12 at 9:28pm

And what would happen today if a parent were to grab their kid by the wrist, lift him or her up by the wrist and giving them a couple hard slaps on the ass for acting out in public?
There would be a youtube video and child services taking the kids away. Sorry, this is a societal problem, not just a parental one. There was a video a year or so ago of a parent dragging a screaming child through a mall. Everyone was aghast, and the parent demonized. However perhaps it was just a way, in a non vilolent way of the parent teaching the child she was not going to suffer such behavior.

[jasonf]

Posted: 6/24/12 at 9:54pm

That's a good point, Snafu - it is a societal issue more than a specific parenting one. However, I don't think these parents even THINK about disciplining their child and are afraid of what it might look like. I think they genuinely give in to whatever their kid is screaming about/doing and let them run the nest. That isn't to say that society isn't at fault for it.

The flipside, of course, is I think everyone in the coffee place would have rather she done SOMETHING about the kids rather than nothing.

[thetinymagic2]

Posted: 6/24/12 at 10:02pm

Where's that British Nanny chick when you need her!

[doodlenyc]

Posted: 6/25/12 at 10:47am

Frankly, I think this kind of bad parenting is just laziness. Too many people dont want to properly discipline their children, or set a good example for them.

[ErikJ972]

Posted: 6/25/12 at 11:03am

"And what would happen today if a parent were to grab their kid by the wrist, lift him or her up by the wrist and giving them a couple hard slaps on the ass for acting out in public?"

Resorting to corporal punishment in public isn't good parenting, it's lazy parenting. I never needed to get slapped in public to know how to behave.

Posted: 6/25/12 at 12:16pm

Yeah you don't need to beat a kid to make him behave. Stern words, eye contact, meaning what you say.

[SNAFU]

Posted: 6/25/12 at 1:40pm

Sorry, but i tend to believe that coporal punishment is at times warrented. No, it is not the be all and end all. Sometimes a mere stern look, words and eye contact make no difference.

[JbaraFan1]

Posted: 6/25/12 at 2:39pm

From both my personal upbringing with a mother who was a staunch believer in a good old fashioned ass-whuppin', and my own parenting experience with my kids, where I learned early on that there were better ways than the way I was raised, I reached the general conclusion that corporal punishment of children should be somewhere between never and absolute last resort. Maybe maybe maybe when nothing else has gotten through to a kid and it's some potentially dangerous situation. But usually things like redirection, letting them know (verbally) that you're displeased with their bad behavior, being sure to praise good behavior ... and yeah, giving them "that look" can go a long way.

[jasonf]

Posted: 6/25/12 at 2:47pm

The thing is, it has to start at a VERY early age and it has to be consistent. Too many parents have let it go too far and can no longer control their kids.

I got whacked in the butt a few times as a kid -- I never did whatever it was I was punished for again. The thing was, I had something a lot of these kids don't have today -- fear of my parents. I was SCARED of getting punished or getting yelled at. If parents are going to break down every time a kid does something and end up not really doing anything, the kid can get away with murder.

[TheatreDiva90016]

Posted: 6/25/12 at 4:08pm

"The thing was, I had something a lot of these kids don't have today -- fear of my parents. I was SCARED of getting punished or getting yelled at."

BINGO! And it's another reason why society in general has become to uncaring. People know they can get away with acting however they want in public because they will never get in trouble for it.

There is no shame anymore because people just don't give a damn about their fellow human being.

[doodlenyc]

Posted: 6/25/12 at 4:12pm

Please...some parents video tape their kid's bad behavior and put it on youtube! They think it's funny!

Parents need to lead by example and be consistent with the consequences of bad behavior.

[Jane2]

Posted: 6/25/12 at 4:13pm

I don't know if it's a societal issue or not, but it seems to me that nowadays, children can do anything they damn please. Parents don't seem to want to discipline their kids, and they sure don't want anyone ELSE to dare to say something to them, even at times when there's danger to them.

I witness so many instances when parents don't have a clue what the little ones are doing because they aren't even watching them. And then if you see a kid about to get hurt or something similar, don't dare say anything!

[SNAFU]

Posted: 6/25/12 at 4:44pm

My parents would not tolerate anything but model behavior when in public. As did many parents in the late 50's, early 60's when I was being raised. Today I see parents allowing their kids to run amok. "Isn't he or she precious?" The sense of entitlemnet that the 20-30 somethings are displaying today is being transfered to their children and it seems to me, to be compunding the problem.

[SonofRobbieJ]

Posted: 6/25/12 at 4:51pm

And from whom did the 20 and 30 year old parents learn? I didn't just happen. Look to the Boomers.

[romantico]

Posted: 6/25/12 at 4:52pm

My Mom works with a a lady who went out with her daughter and the two got matching tattoos.The girl was a senior in high school but still, I think that is a little young. Maybe I'm from another generation but a Mom and her daughter getting matching tramp stamps does not sound right to me.I guess as long as Mom is perceived as being hip and cool, that's all that matters.

[Jane2]

Posted: 6/25/12 at 5:03pm

haha, I'm a tramp!

[SNAFU]

Posted: 6/25/12 at 5:56pm

Yes RobbieJ I do look at the boomers and the societal shift that happened in the 60's.