Do you all lie to your friends?- Page 2

[sondheimboy2]

Posted: 5/29/07 at 11:50pm

Was your friend the worst thing in the show? Or did the whole show suck? Would you say it was your friend's fault for not finding it, or the director's for not helping him?

Unfortunately, I'm not the sort of person to tell someone when he wasn't good.

[wonderwaiter]

Posted: 5/29/07 at 11:51pm

When a true friend wants to know my honest opinion, I find a way of telling them privately. Assuming it is within my power to honestly tell them. If it is not, then I remain discreet. Their personal life is not my regard unless they choose to make it so.

[brdlwyr]

Posted: 5/29/07 at 11:54pm

Sue, I usually hug them and say "Great Work!"

I would never be Corky and tell them that they are going to Broadway.

[StageManager2]

Posted: 5/29/07 at 11:54pm

If someone asks my personal opinion, I'm going to tell them, be they friend, foe, or stranger. Of course, I try to be tactful, but what's the point of lies, even small white ones?

[SueleenGay]

Posted: 5/29/07 at 11:55pm

PJ, who said anything about him being a bad person? You make it sound as if I want to execute him or something.

I don't want to go into too much detail, but suffice it to say that he WAS the show...so there really isn't anyone else to "blame".

[AbbaRabbit]

Posted: 5/29/07 at 11:56pm

i think it depends on the friend.
i have 1 or 2 really close friends that i feel like i could give critisism to and also tell them what i liked and what they could do better.
i also have friends who are friends but i'm not as close with them. if one of them did a performence that was not that great, i'd probably say i liked it to avoid hurting them.

[miss pennywise]

Posted: 5/29/07 at 11:56pm

But Corky really BELIEVED they were going to Broadway, Brd! That's the difference!


This is all very interesting. What if, like SM2, our friend really and truly WANTS you to tell the truth? Are we being selfish by NOT wanting to hurt his feelings because it'll make us uncomfortable or concerned about it affecting the friendship?

I guess that's why I take the "escape route." I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings but I don't want to lie either. It's definitely a dilemma...and a good question, Sueleen.

[Rathnait62]

Posted: 5/30/07 at 12:01am

Wow, Sueleen.

Really.

[StageManager2]

Posted: 5/30/07 at 12:03am

Incidentally, miss p, do you employ your "escape route" tactic in all matters concerning honesty?

[Jane2]

Posted: 5/30/07 at 12:03am

Sueleen, did your friend come right out and ask you what you thought, or are you saying that you felt you had to say "something" after the show.

[brdlwyr]

Posted: 5/30/07 at 12:07am

Jane and MP, my response "Great Work" is in the lobby or a stage door hello.

[Jane2]

Posted: 5/30/07 at 12:08am

brdlwyr-how about this one-"You looked like you were having a great time!"

[Raviolisun]

Posted: 5/30/07 at 12:10am

Sue, I usually hug them and say "Great Work!"

I like that.

[miss pennywise]

Posted: 5/30/07 at 12:13am

I believe that honesty is the best policy, SM2. I have been asked by several friends to give feedback and help them with their creative processes, and I have given them help in the best way possible...with truthfulness, tact and with true care and concern for them and what they are trying to accomplish.

But the question here is about how we respond immediately upon seeing a performance--at least that's how I read it. There's a difference.

[wonderwaiter]

Posted: 5/30/07 at 12:14am

Incidentally, miss p, do you employ your "escape route" tactic in all matters concerning honesty?

What a tactless and rude question to ask of one the kindest and nicest of posters on BWW.

[DayDreamer]

Posted: 5/30/07 at 12:15am

At the stage door (or hallway, as is the case in most places around here) I am ALWAYS complimentary. Even if all it is is a comment on their shoes. Like others have said, I know when I've done something not great, and just after the show is not the time to hear it.

However, my good friends know that if they ask for my honest opinion afterwards, they will get it. I've had a couple of friends get sore with me for a bit, but they always appreciate my honesty. Which I also always point out is MY opinion, nothing more, nothing less.

If you friend is truly as bad an actor as you believe, eventually he'll stop getting parts, no?

[PalJoey]

Posted: 5/30/07 at 12:15am

"You were amazing" or "That was amazing"--with the second syllable of "amaaaaaazing" sufficiently elongated--always seems to work for me.

[SueleenGay]

Posted: 5/30/07 at 12:19am

I am sure I did the right thing. I just feel like kind of a heel.

[miss pennywise]

Posted: 5/30/07 at 12:20am

Jane, I was waiting for that line! I refrained from posting it becasue I thought it was your right!

WW, thank you for your kind words. And I know you are not just saying that to make me feel good right after my post!

[Jane2]

Posted: 5/30/07 at 12:23am

LOL, Miss P! I was wondering why you didn't post it, and if you remembered it!

[brdlwyr]

Posted: 5/30/07 at 12:24am

Heel? Sue, you just aged yourself!

[miss pennywise]

Posted: 5/30/07 at 12:26am

Jane, it was the first thing I thought of, but I don't like to lie...or STEAL! It's your line, after all!

[Jane2]

Posted: 5/30/07 at 12:30am

Weeelllll, in all HONESTY-It was my friend Anthony's line originally.....

See- I have a hard time lying also!

[wonderwaiter]

Posted: 5/30/07 at 12:37am

"I know you are not just saying that to make me feel good right after my post!"

No, I'm pretty generally het up about that comment. But it would appear that as usual us Southern boys get caught up in the moment after the fact. How fitting that one of the last Civil War battles was fought here two weeks after the Civil War ended. "I'd be right privileged to defend your honor here M'lady"

[miss pennywise]

Posted: 5/30/07 at 12:39am

I love Southern boys!!!