Do you all lie to your friends?- Page 4

[shameless]

Posted: 5/30/07 at 11:24am

That hurts, Robb.

It was unkind.

Updated On: 5/30/07 at 11:24 AM

[singingwendy]

Posted: 5/30/07 at 11:29am

I think DD has it right.......you say something...anything...complimentary immediately after the performance. I'm sure we've all been part of some sort of play, or show, or concert where it wasn't the best, and the first thing that happens is the director comes backstage and starts berating you for the mistakes you've made and how it could have been better. It leaves you feeling dejected and untalented and that's not a good situation...especially if you have to do the performance again!

My advice is give the whole situation time and perspective. If you really feel this person is deluding themselves about their abilities, and you are willing to risk your friendship to tell them that, then I'd bring it up. If not, then you need to just accept the fact that you're going and supporting the person, not necessarily his or her performance.

[robbiej]

Posted: 5/30/07 at 11:49am

'And hopefully friends aren't trying to give actors director's notes. That isn't their job!'

Welcome to the theatre, Miss Eve Harrington.

I can't tell you the number I've times I've witnessed this very thing happening. Not to me. Though some have tried. And you'd be SHOCKED at how many actors I've worked with who 'tried something new' because a friend made a suggestion.

[best12bars]

Posted: 5/30/07 at 12:44pm

I wouldn't be shocked, robbiej... I grew up with and around the theatre folk. Ma whole laaahhf.

Actors will take coaching tips from a cat if it strokes their ego the right direction.

...which is why I posted, "I would hope..."

I'm still "hopeful" that actors have enough sense not to take directorial notes from their friends, at least on a specific project.

I look at it this way... Friends... even friends who are directors... are merely audience members when they plop down in Row E and see me in a show. It's not their vision, their project or their "business." They are giving one opinion, if they're so inclined to give it. I personally place no more relevance on this opinion than the person I don't know who's sitting right next to them.

They all "count" or "don't count" on an equal playing field, as the case may be.

Not everybody believes this, of course. They think some audience members "count" more than others, and that's where they get into trouble, IMO.

As they say, "Opinions are like..."

[SueleenGay]

Posted: 5/30/07 at 4:30pm

It has been called to my attention that there is someone on this message board who is CONVINCED that this thread was started about him/her. Let me assure this rather paranoid and egotistical poster that unless they were performing their one man show in Chicago, Illinois last night this thread is most assuredly NOT about them.

However, if the shoe fits...

[DG]

Posted: 5/30/07 at 4:33pm

"this rather paranoid and egotistical poster"

Oh, come on, Sueleen - that doesn't narrow it down at ALL!

[Rathnait62]

Posted: 5/30/07 at 4:34pm

You mean this wasn't a passive-aggressive hit on someone on this board who's recently been in a show?

You mean this is a real situation, and you honest to God couldn't figure out how to handle it on your own?

Wow.

[brdlwyr]

Posted: 5/30/07 at 4:36pm

It was me, but Sue you would have only seen my "one man show" through the blinds.

[ShbrtAlley44]

Posted: 5/30/07 at 4:36pm

Wasn't it Steve Martin who suggested, "Wow, you were really up there!"?

I usually compliment the person's hard work. Only a couple of my friends ask for my honest opinion, and I will note a couple of things I didn't like but make sure to go on about the good things.
Updated On: 5/30/07 at 04:36 PM

[SueleenGay]

Posted: 5/30/07 at 4:55pm

No, Rath, I wasn't asking for advice, I was asking how other people feel about lying to a friend who was not very good in a show, and how they handle a sensitive situation like that. I was feeling bad for lying outright and wanted some support. You see, unlike some, I actually CARE about my friends. So no, once again, it is not all about YOU. But god knows your friends have been in my shoes a number of times, I am sure.

I think, and I say this with all sincerity, you need desperate help. This just proves it.

[Jane2]

Posted: 5/30/07 at 4:57pm

"Oh, come on, Sueleen - that doesn't narrow it down at ALL!"

LOL!

[Mamamia Sammy2]

Posted: 5/30/07 at 5:02pm

Several years ago, I saw Rath sing a stirring rendition of "Old Man River".

There wasn't a dry eye in the house.

[C is for Company]

Posted: 5/30/07 at 5:43pm

Shouldn't a true friend be able to see things in perspective and realize they weren't that good? Jeez, I have the decency to tell my friends "Listen, um about the show that I'm in tonight, since I love you all dearly, please don't come."

It also eliminates the problem of criticism of me or the show because then the feedback is welcomed and I've okayed anything that isn't too pleasant. We can even joke about any poor qualities and whatnot. It alleviates the awkwardness in my opinion.

[Rathnait62]

Posted: 5/30/07 at 6:30pm

"I think, and I say this with all sincerity, you need desperate help. This just proves it."

Thanks for the diagnosis!

[TheatreDiva90016]

Posted: 5/30/07 at 6:33pm

I always tell them, "You didn't LOOK pregnant on stage."


The girls eat that sh!t up.