Either Idina's the most understanding wifey- Page 6

[misschung]

Posted: 8/6/07 at 12:00am

I mean, I understand that we can't live in this euphoric, imaginary planet where all the women of the world are united and have a uniform perspective on all things. I get that. I think there have always been different types of girls, and different types of women.

I wasn't saying that it's not fun to be sexy, or flirt, or take pride in the fact that you're beautiful. I think that confusing real affection or love with attention based only on looks can be damaging though. But then again, some people know how to deal with that better than others.

[BroadwayGirl107]

Posted: 8/6/07 at 12:06am

"I believe the reason you were jumped on for the tee shirt thing is because it's HARDLY on the same level as parent/child role play during sex."

Well, yes. I think the tee-shirt is much more degrading to women in general and has a much larger scope of consequences; the role playing is just role playing.

"But if a little cleavage, or a smile or a wink can help me out in a situation, I have no problem using my 'assets' to my advantage."
Ah, and bear in mind that there are women who get such advantages without ever winking, showing their cleavage, or even putting on a spot of make-up. Deliberately trying to get a man to do it, in my opinion, is degrading. It's playing a really petty game with men's rules, and it is, to a certain degree whoring. You show him some cleavage, so your drink is free. As long as you objectify yourself, he'll give you whatever special treatment. Instead of demanding respect, you get a free drink and a boost to your vanity ego.
Updated On: 8/6/07 at 12:06 AM

[CJR]

Posted: 8/6/07 at 12:33am

I think you misunderstand what I meant.

I got where I am today, professionally (and personally, but that has nothing to do with what Im talking about right now) because I'm intelligent and (call this conceited if you want) am freaking amazing at what I do. In my line of work, a little cleavage means, well, very little. And not for nothing, excessive cleavage has no business in a corporate environment, but that's just me. You may not believe it, but Im old school as hell when it comes to work and being respectable.

Sure, I flirt with clients and sometimes I'm overly nice.... I don't think it's degrading though. It's doing what I need to do to close the deal and get the job done. And when all else fails and my vendors are STILL effing up, I yell. They don't call me bulldog at work for nothing.

I've worked very hard to be taken seriously in the corporate world.... in my business, it's mostly very old money and VERY old men. There aren't many women in a position of power (especially at my company), but I am proud to say that I have proven myself and at my comparatively young age, I am one of them.

As for the free drink thing... Well i don't PURPOSELY show a lot of cleavage in order to get things. (quoting you with Deliberately trying to get a man to do it, in my opinion, is degrading.) If I wear something cute (and truth be told, if I'm going out, Im wearing something cute) and I wind up getting a free drink then so be it. It's a compliment, not degrading. It's not like I walk up to the bartender, flash him and then collect my drink. A bartender giving a girl a free drink because he thinks she's cute is no different than a 'stranger' buying her a drink because HE thinks she's cute.

And Im curious..... if my bartender was a female..... and a lesbian.... and SHE gave me a free drink, would you STILL be so up in arms about how "using my assets to my advantage is degrading to women"?

Updated On: 8/6/07 at 12:33 AM

[BroadwayGirl107]

Posted: 8/6/07 at 12:59am

"I'm intelligent and (call this conceited if you want) am freaking amazing at what I do."
"You may not believe it, but Im old school as hell when it comes to work and being respectable."
And the most open-minded person I'll ever meet, too!

Ok, NOW I'm seriously just kidding with you, but like I pointed out before, your (nor anyone else's) claims about your own personality or what your friends would say mean nothing to me, so I'm not sure why you keep bringing them up.

And Im curious..... if my bartender was a female..... and a lesbian.... and SHE gave me a free drink, would you STILL be so up in arms about how "using my assets to my advantage is degrading to women"?
I think you're missing my point. You said "But if a little cleavage, or a smile or a wink can help me out in a situation, I have no problem using my 'assets' to my advantage," and I said that there are women who don't even have to do any of that to get said advantages. Now, I think having a really strong self-constructed body image means not having to do that to get that kind of attention. I tend to think a woman who knows she looks good probably doesn't go out of her way to put on something "cute" or wink or smile at somebody to get something. She probably doesn't feel the need to talk about her free drinks on the internet either. She probably isn't even concerned about getting it because that side of her ego needs no petting.

Again, I'm just throwing ideas out there.


Updated On: 8/6/07 at 12:59 AM

[CJR]

Posted: 8/6/07 at 1:17am

Im not missing your point..... At the moment, you're not even GRAZING mine. What you ARE doing is dissecting every little thing I am saying and not only blowing it out of proportion, but you are also then flinging it into left field.

Your post insinuates that I fling my boobs on the table and the world is mine. Or that I go out of my way to find some sexy little outfit and then spend hours doing my hair and makeup just so I can go out and hope to score free drinks. Please, you think I HAVE that kind of time?

When I said "cute", I meant clothes that are flattering. I didn't mean some tight, slutty little outfit and pounds of make up and tortured and teased hair. In general, I prefer not to wear unflattering clothes or look like a slob. That's just the way I am. Cute is relative; what's cute for one person isn't cute for another. One night it could be a tank top and jeans, another night it could be a skirt and heels and all that fun stuff.

I don't "get dressed up and go out" to see what I can get and who's gonna hit on me and buy me free drinks.... not at all. I go out with friends to have fun and unwind after a long week at work. If I get free stuff or meet someone nice, it's a bonus... but definitely not my goal for the evening.

I didn't bring up anyone else's opinions of myself; my last post was all fact. I AM where I am today because Im good at what I do. And i DID have to work my ass off to get here..... and Im am PROUD of that. The reason I added the "you may not believe it" part was mostly because of your opinions of my tee shirts. You obviously have SOME opinion of me or you wouldn't have judged the person I am overall by an article of clothing. You know, that and I wanted to cut you off at the pass before anyone said they didn't believe that I know how to dress conservatively.

There is a time and a place for the boobs and my office is NOT it LOL

Updated On: 8/6/07 at 01:17 AM

[BroadwayGirl107]

Posted: 8/6/07 at 1:57am

"I didn't bring up anyone else's opinions of myself; my last post was all fact. I AM where I am today because Im good at what I do.
I know! And like I said, you're the most open-minded person I'll ever meet, too!

"Your post insinuates that I fling my boobs on the table and the world is mine. Or that I go out of my way to find some sexy little outfit and then spend hours doing my hair and makeup just so I can go out and hope to score free drinks."

Actually, not so much what I was going for. I'm thinking more along the lines of a subconscious desire manifesting itself in the way you behave, the places you go, and the things you buy and the way you act that results in the little incidents that boost one's vanity. And I suppose I mean the general "you" because, again, I don't know you. It's the subtle ways that people do things that make men (and subsequently other women) believe that women are fine with being objectified and make women believe that getting a free drink gives because someone likes their rack is special. I'm not blowing it out of proportion; there's a whole mentality behind the different ways such an interaction could play out.

However, frankly, simply going on the types of responses you've offered so far, I'm not sure I'm up to explaining the subtleties of such things unless somebody else wants to jump in and take what I'm trying to say on.

[JerseyGirl2]

Posted: 8/6/07 at 2:08am

You folks are creeping me out.

I think Larissa's Lagoon is a GREAT song.

[BroadwayGirl107]

Posted: 8/6/07 at 2:11am

I think it's a pretty brilliant song.

Why am I creeping you out? Because I'm up at 2a.m. debating the implications of women using their bodies to get what they want? You mean normal people don't do that? WHAT?!

[JerseyGirl2]

Posted: 8/6/07 at 2:17am

I only do that when I am not staring at someone's boobs.

[BroadwayGirl107]

Posted: 8/6/07 at 2:24am

Well, clearly you've been spending a lot of time doing that, then.

[Marlene]

Posted: 8/6/07 at 4:39pm

The sad part is that I've been reading this entire thread... and now I am mentally tracking how "Idina being the most understanding wifey" has lead to such a heated argument about the objectification of women. Carry along.

She is alive and well getting her fix of jamba juice and yoga... so I hear.

[Marcus2]

Posted: 8/7/07 at 6:18am

Wow this thread went a bit crazy, nobody knows whats happening in their relationship, these pictures just show him having a good time not cheating! For all we know they could be Idina's best friends, lets just stop being mean about everyone Idina's a big girl and can sort herself out. Every couple has rough times etc but Idina constantly talks about Taye and visa versa, even when she was in London she would talk about missing him so I think they're relationship is pretty legit. Of course relationships do end etc but its not out concern to immediatly say he's cheating, thats just bad.

And about the role play thing its just about domination its nothing to do with insest, and the whole in parents bed is the daring thing the ooo we might be caught this is wrong kinda thing, nothing perverse!

[bwayfan3]

Posted: 8/7/07 at 11:31pm

And again after thinking about this a little bit more, I think the most disturbing thing about "All of the Above" is if Idina actually lost her virginity at the Commack Motor Inn. That place is gross. I really hope that was just poetic license.

[BroadwayGirl107]

Posted: 8/7/07 at 11:58pm

Well, considering the fact that she's not a dominatrix, a french maid, the president's wife, or anything else she mentioned in the song, somehow I think we're talking in terms of hypothetical role playing.

[bwayfan3]

Posted: 8/8/07 at 8:10am

Yeah...I know. I was just trying to lighten the mood in this thread a bit.

[StageManager2]

Posted: 10/14/07 at 4:24am

Then why resurrect this thread?

[tazber]

Posted: 10/14/07 at 4:29am

LOL. Really, why bump this thread if you think we should all just not talk about it?

[JerseyGirl2]

Posted: 10/14/07 at 1:46pm

Hell, I heard he already married and divorced Audra McDonald.