Have you no compassion?- Page 3

[RockabyeHamlet]

Posted: 8/2/07 at 12:48pm

nomdeplume- I am so glad you have had good expieriences with hospice, most people have no understanding of what it means, or why it is so important. I hope your family is doing alright.

[JohnBoy2]

Posted: 8/2/07 at 12:57pm

He doesn't have to deal with it if he doesn't want to. Why are you getting on his case? It's not like he walks up to handicapped people and berates them.

Oh my god! It's 2007 and people are still saying "handicapped people"!!!!!! There's truly no hope.

[SorryGrateful]

Posted: 8/2/07 at 1:01pm

Ivan-- If I believed that you were a real person, which I don't, I would have to say that you are, and will always be, far uglier inside than anyone else could possibly be outside. But, since you are some person's masturbatory doppleganger, I'll just ignore you from now on. I choose not to play in your ignorant games.



As for me, I think that I had it pretty good growing up, in terms of learning about people with disabilities. My dad had his leg amputated when he was 18 and has had a prosthetic ever since. I never thought anything was wrong with him, just that he didn't have a leg. Of course, I wish he had both of his legs, but it gave me a good perspective on other people's disabilites in that I just see them as people.

Updated On: 8/2/07 at 01:01 PM

[doodlenyc]

Posted: 8/2/07 at 1:05pm

"masturbatory doppleganger"

I just had to repeat that.


Last year, my mother in law passed from lung cancer. The hospice care we got for her was wonderful and caring up until the end. Any problems were addressed immediately. It is such a hard time. She died at peace, in her bedroom, surrounded by family.

[SorryGrateful]

Posted: 8/2/07 at 1:09pm

I hope you have as much fun reading and re-typing it as I had typing it in the first place.

What a lovely story, doodle. Death has to happen to everyone, but it's nice when it doesn't have to be traumatic.

[Elphaba]

Posted: 8/2/07 at 1:14pm

robbie, I re-read that and frankly you are right. I guess what i should have said was since he never pursued any interest, did not get an education, etc that he'd probably never have a decent job.

As a young guy I worked at both Pizza Hut and Red Barn (an old nemesis of McDonald's that lost the war)

I apologise to anyone I offended.

[doodlenyc]

Posted: 8/2/07 at 1:14pm

"masturbatory doppleganger"

Thrice!

I'm just glad it wasnt mentioned in the Ken Berry thread!

[Rose_MacShane]

Posted: 8/2/07 at 1:21pm

I think I picked up my attitude about this issue from my mom. Her brother has Down's syndrome and she was very protective of him as a kid, because people were not nearly as enlightened about such conditions as they are now.

When she was 15 and my uncle was about 6 or 7, they were playing in the front yard when a neighborhood kid rode by on his bike and called my uncle a retard. My mom got up and literally pulled him off his bike, and was about to beat the s**t out of him, but her mother intervened.

[AbbaRabbit]

Posted: 8/2/07 at 1:26pm

i'm glad you guys had good experiences with hospices.
i wasn't old enough to remember the hospice where my dad's father (papa) was, but my mom's father (nono) just recently passed away in march.
he was in a nursing home and a hospice service was called in. the people from the service were wonderful, and we had one great nurse fomr the home, but we also had a rotton nurse form the nursing home.
the night before he died my mom said "i feel like we should call hospice in" and the nurse said "he's fine"
my mom said "no, something isn't right. he needs more care than you're giving him" and the nurse started saying all her qualiications and how she knew for a fact he was not going to pass away that night or the next day. my mom said "i think you're wrong" but beacuse the nurse had to be the one to call hospice, they were not called.
the next day they didn't call hospice in untill abour 2 hours before he passed.
if that nurse had listened to my mom, he could have been made more comfortable the night before with medication and oxygen.

we saw that nurse after he passed as we were leaving the nursing home and he looked at my mom and said "you knew!" and my mom yelled at her that when a family says something isn't right you should listen to them, since they know what's normal for their family member and what isn't.

[doodlenyc]

Posted: 8/2/07 at 1:34pm

Abba, though it isnt easy to deal with at the time a loved one is dying, the nursing home should be made aware of any displeasure, as should the hospice.

Even if it is after the fact, let someone know that that nurse was terrible.

Sometimes, even good nurses burn out and are unable to give the care they'd like to...it's a tough job...but noone has to take bad nursing. You are paying for it!

[RockabyeHamlet]

Posted: 8/2/07 at 1:39pm

Abba, unfortunatly, that is not uncommon. It's not that we are reluctant to give care, but far too often doctors, nursing homes, etc., are reluctant to turn the patient over to a hospice, even though they can stay in the nursing home and keep their primary doctor. It's purely a control issue in a lot of cases.

[Jane2]

Posted: 8/2/07 at 3:23pm

SG-you took the words right out of my mouth-I don't care who that Ivan person is, because either way, he/she/it is far uglier than anyone with a disfigurement. Even if it's someone trying to rile us up, heshe is pretty ugly.

the avatar ain't so good looking either!

[son_of_a_gunn_25]

Posted: 8/14/07 at 8:48pm

This thread is exactly why I am a big fan of inclusive philosophies. I grew up sheltered from people with disabilities. It was hard at first working at a job that was inclusive of children of all abilities. It was mostly because I was scared of saying or doing the wrong thing, but interaction of people with and without disabilities is fundamental to creating understanding about disabilities and other struggles people have. I am a better person for it and all of the children who attend the camp each summer are better for it.

I love what Iflit says that a disability not making someone who is rotten a nice person. It's one of the reasons I love "The Pillowman". It challenges societal stereotypes about persons with disabilities.

I included a link to myths about persons with disabilities. In my training as an inclusive staff member, I found that I was guilty of believing several of these myths. It's not about being perfect, it's about striving to treat everyone equally and always trying to be better about it.


Myths About Persons with Disabilities

[AbbaRabbit]

Posted: 8/14/07 at 9:33pm

one of my closest friends has a disability. she is in a wheelchair because she has sma (a form of muscular distrophy)
we went to the mall together this past weekend, and made build-a-bears (well hers was a hippo)... her caregiver attatched hers to the back of her wheelchair using the tubing to her ventalator.
as we were getting off the elevator there was a group of people standing there and they all went "awww what a sweet hippo!" "it's so cute... did you make that yourself?"
she just smiled and said thanks, but it bothered me that they were talking to her like she was a little kid or like she was retarded or something, beacuse she's not dumb and she's not a little kid... she's actually very smart and taking all honors classes in college.
but i feel like they looked at her and automatically thought she would be unable to understand them if they talked to her like they would anyone else just beacuse she's in a wheelchair.

i dont know if it's beacuse i spent alot of time at the children's hospital when i was younger, but i look at a kid in a wheelchair or a kid with a bald head or a kid on oxygen and i just see a kid who wants to be treated like and talked to the same way as any other kid. i know i didn't like being stared at when i had a feeding tube taped to my face. but i wasn't going to become a shut-in beacuse of it, and i wouldn't expect someone with a disability to stay home beacuse people might not like the way they look.

[Jane2]

Posted: 8/14/07 at 9:44pm

That's how I feel about it too, Abba.

I'm sorry but I don't buy the excuse that in order to treat someone who looks or acts differently like anyone else you have to have experience. I think it's a matter of compassion and common sense.

I'd like to clarify that I'm not referring to young children-they must be taught. But adults? No, they should know better.

Updated On: 8/14/07 at 09:44 PM