Homophobia: What's your story?

[mattnyc2]

Posted: 7/22/08 at 10:35pm

I came out in the fall of 2001 during my freshman year of college. I never flaunted my sexuality but didn't try to hide it either and would publicly hold hands with my then-boyfriend. Word in dorms spread fast until one Saturday night some of my drunk thug neighbors were pounding on my door screaming "come on out fag!" which resulted in me calling the police. They claimed it was all a joke and were let off with a warning, but at the time it was quite frightening for me.

Years later I was in a production of "The Taming of the Shrew." One of the actors in the show found out I was gay and starting telling everyone how uncomfortable it made him. On opening night he decided to change most of the blocking so that he wouldn't have to come within three feet of me. Only after a stern warning from the director did he agree to revert to the original staging, but made it clear to the audience that he was uncomfortable in my presence. I'm pretty sure he quit theatre all together after that show.

What's your story.

[Chance]

Posted: 7/22/08 at 10:41pm

what kind of dumb**** doesn't know fags do theatre? And if hates queers so much how could he ever READ a shakespeare play.

[Harper3]

Posted: 7/22/08 at 10:58pm

Chance, I disagree with your use of "fags" in your post. It's an abbreviation of an offensive term and sometimes I fear it's become like "n*" in the fact that blacks can use it and other groups can't.

Words have power and if you show someone that they too can hold that power, it will never turn out to be a positive thing, even if it used it a jocular manner.

[Calvin]

Posted: 7/22/08 at 11:01pm

Was this actor's name Justin Caster?

Growing up in Texas, I had surprisingly few personal homophobia encounters, other than the stray shouts of "fag" and whatnot.

I'm pretty sure I did get passed over on a job because of it once. I had sent my clips and a resume to a certain newspaper that was hiring, and I got a very strange rejection letter. Most newspaper rejection letters are just forms, but this one was very specifically addressed to me and almost apologetic on the part of the editor who wrote it, saying he really liked my clips but that I just wouldn't be a fit for the paper. I was confused until I read up a bit and realized that this was one of the few major newspapers in the country that had editorialized FOR a constitutional marriage amendment (lesson kiddies -- always research the place to which you're applying).

I make it subtly clear that I'm gay on my resume by referring to the GLBT publication for which I freelance as well as my (now lapsed) membership in the NLGJA, so I'm pretty sure that disqualified me from the get-go. But I wouldn't have wanted to work in an environment like that, anyway, as I've always been out at work.

[Chance]

Posted: 7/22/08 at 11:13pm

Chance, I disagree with your use of "fags" in your post. It's an abbreviation of an offensive term and sometimes I fear it's become like "n*" in the fact that blacks can use it and other groups can't.

I'm sorry, I can't hear you from all the way up on your high horse.

[Elphaba]

Posted: 7/22/08 at 11:26pm

Bravo Chance.....

I'm a FAG and proud of it.....their words do not hurt me. When I let their words hurt me, or define who I am, then they win.
DAMN PROUD FAG HERE!

[husk_charmer]

Posted: 7/22/08 at 11:31pm

I personally love using the word fag, and it doesn't bother me to hear someone else use it.

Now, it does bother me when someone uses "Gay" as a euphemism for "Stupid" or "Lame"

That said, I haven't really had too many. I did have someone pee "FAG" into the snow on my car one time in Arkansas. But, I was more impressed that they were able to get it on the back windshield AND have it be legible than I was insulted.

[Chance]

Posted: 7/22/08 at 11:34pm

that's hilarious husk.

[husk_charmer]

Posted: 7/22/08 at 11:37pm

I wish I still had the picture.

My campus in Arkansas was surprisingly liberal. I walked around with pink hair, green glitter eyeshadow, eyeliner and carried a Wizard of Oz lunchbox as a purse...and never got beat up.

[PalJoey]

Posted: 7/22/08 at 11:42pm

You mean he peed this?



That's not homophobia. That took thought and effort.

The person who did that is GAY.

[dalefully]

Posted: 7/22/08 at 11:44pm

I really do not like word "fag". Yes, a lot of my friends use it in that casual matter and I can't really stop them, but personally, I associate it with really hurtful sentiments.

Let's just say I've had more than my fair share of homophobia. I grew up in a very Irish Catholic household. After I was bashed at school, my parents (I was yet to come out to them at this point) responded by transferring me to a very conservative private school where I got kicked out of my junior prom when I brought my boyfriend as a date (and became the school pariah after that). When I did come out to my parents, my mom was in constant denial for three years and my dad has still not accepted me.

And then, of course, there was the grand finale which I would much rather not elaborate on, but let's just say I can thank that a-hole for my PTSD.

But it hasn't all been like that...my sister and my friends for the most part were incredibly supportive and I have an extremely wonderful boyfriend. And since I started college, things have been getting much better.

[Phyllis Rogers Stone]

Posted: 7/22/08 at 11:46pm

My campus in Arkansas was surprisingly liberal. I walked around with pink hair, green glitter eyeshadow, eyeliner and carried a Wizard of Oz lunchbox as a purse...and never got beat up.

You're lucky! Some people might say you were asking for it!

[husk_charmer]

Posted: 7/22/08 at 11:50pm

PRS-
Some might...really it was just me trying to find myself. After about 3 months, I toned it down to just eyeliner, and by the end of the first year eyeliner was only worn with certain outfits.

I did do drag at Halloween though.

[Phyllis Rogers Stone]

Posted: 7/22/08 at 11:55pm

I was referring to the Lawrence King kid who got killed. He wore makeup and sh*t. I say good for you.

I really wish sometimes my parents had just let me be all girly and play with dolls and stuff like that. I'd probably be more well adjusted today.

[RetroBoy]

Posted: 7/23/08 at 12:00am

I can personally say that I have never experienced homophobia from any of my family members or my co-workers. I guess I've been blessed with the people I've surrounded myself with and the people I have crossed paths with.

[Harper3]

Posted: 7/23/08 at 12:14am

I'm not trying to put myself up on a high horse, just expressing my experiences with the word and my adversion to it.

I apologize if I came across as self-righteous but that was not my intent.

[LadyRosecoe]

Posted: 7/23/08 at 12:25am

"I really do not like word "fag". Yes, a lot of my friends use it in that casual matter and I can't really stop them, but personally, I associate it with really hurtful sentiments."

I pretty much associate with that line of thought. I'm in the camp of those who really dislike hearing it and thinks it carries a negative intent that I'd never enjoy owning up to. I'd not want to associate myself with a word that carries with it so much nastiness and pain for those who've endured being called that. I know it's just a word, but that can be said for any other hurtful remark that I'd give zero credence to as well.

Like the word n*, why bother even trying to reclaim a word that just carries so much baggage? I know it might be silly because these things are intangible and I'm not one to typically get sensitive over things like this, but I firmly just can't stomach what these kinds of words stand for nowadays.