How can I find a suitable church for me?

[sanda]

Posted: 3/10/06 at 11:10am

I was raised up as an atheist. When I first came to this country 4 years ago, I was introduced to a Chinese Christian Church. Unfortunately, I didn't feel fit in. It is a foundalism church and the basic activity is studying the text which is boring to me. Besides, the singing part is awful. If it is 10% good as "sister act", I may stay a little longer. This experience turned me off and made me stay away from Christianity for 4 years. Although there were several people tried to introduce me to different churches, I didn't go.

However, now I think I want give another try. The problem is that I don't know how to find a church suitable for me. All these different names, Catholic, baptist, othodox... make me confuse. Honestly I hardly can tell the difference between Judism and Christianity.

Could someone give me some suggestions? Here is my belief:

I prefer an informal worship style. I support abortion, don't oppose gay marriage, and will not be pleased to be told that my grandpa is burning in hell because he wasn't a Christian. I won't sacrifise 10% of my income to church and I won't spend a year to do nothing but introduce Bible to other people. I am a kind of skeptist so it may take me sometime to believe in God. I believe common scense and self-concise can guide us. I prefer a group of people who encourage more instead of condeming more. I hope my church organize more interesting activities and social events instead of focusing on Bible study. I hope there are many members around 20-40 so I can make some friends. And there is a good church choir to let me in. I dislike that 700 club and Robinson guy. My ideal Christian is...Marge Simpson.


I think I better think about this carefully before I make the decision. So, is there such kind of church for me? Your opinion is very helpful.

Thank you very much.

[touchmeinthemorning]

Posted: 3/10/06 at 11:15am

I'd try a unitarian-universalist church.

[Magdalene]

Posted: 3/10/06 at 11:23am

Either that or the Episcopal church...

[grizzabella]

Posted: 3/10/06 at 11:25am

You beat me to it, Touchme, I was going to suggest the same thing. Regardless, Sandra, if you want to accept Christianity, I'm sure you will find the right church for you. Remember, you don't have to be attached to a church to believe in Jesus Christ, or in prayer. Best of luck.

[Wanna Be A Foster]

Posted: 3/10/06 at 11:28am

E-N-G-L-I-S-H

[touchmeinthemorning]

Posted: 3/10/06 at 11:28am

Episcopal churches are sometimes a good bet. Just beware of the occasional episcopal church that is hard core dogmatic.

I suppose even a UU church could get dogmatic, too, but they are hardly ever.

[Enjolras77]

Posted: 3/10/06 at 11:30am

You may also find some Lutheran Churches that are too your liking--but be careful and find out which synod they belong to because that will determine how liberal or conservative the views are.

[sanda]

Posted: 3/10/06 at 11:32am

Thank you very much for your good suggestion.

Are these unitarian-universalist, Episcopal and Lutheran mainstream and easy to find? Are they friendly to outsider?

[grizzabella]

Posted: 3/10/06 at 11:37am

Unitarian, Episcopal and Lutheran (ELCA) are all mainstream. It shouldn't be hard to find one if you live in a metropolitan area. Most churches welcome new people with open arms, but as in all human groups, friendliness many vary from congregation to congregation. Still, try a few different ones and I'm sure you'll find one you are comfortable with.

[Calvin]

Posted: 3/10/06 at 11:42am

Methodist and Presbyterian also have more moderate-to-liberal congregations. The Methodist hierarchy, in fact, is well-known for taking a stand on almost nothing, so it's really up to the individual churches where they stand on many issues.

BTW -- although Episcopal churches can be refreshingly liberal in their ideology, I still think of their worship style as very traditional. Am I incorrect? I've been to only a handful of Episcopal churches.

There used to be a funny e-mail circulating around about different churches in the "How many * does it take to screw in a light bulb" vein.

[miss pennywise]

Posted: 3/10/06 at 11:43am

I suggest you go to www.beliefnet.com. There you can take a "quiz" in which you are asked questions about your stand on issues and god, etc. The result is a list of religions that "suit" you in the order best prescribed to you based on your answers.

The quiz is called "Belief-O-Matic." (You can find it on the menu to the left on the site's home page.) It sounds like a joke, but it isn't. It's actually quite interesting. Maybe I'll post a thread about it since everybody on this board seems to LOVE these kinds of "tests."

[Calvin]

Posted: 3/10/06 at 11:46am

Meanwhile, here's the light bulb joke.


How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

* Charismatics: Only one. Hands already in the air.
* Pentecostals: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.
* Congregationalist: Three - one to change the bulb. The other two make sure the power doesn't go to their head.
* Presbyterians: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.
* Roman Catholics: None. They always use candles.
* Baptists: At least 15. One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad.
* Episcopalians: Three. One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about how much better the old one was.
* Mormons: Five. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.
* Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to luminescence.
* Methodists: Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Church wide lighting service is planned for Sunday. Bring bulb of your choice and a covered dish.
* Nazarene: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.
* Lutherans: None. Lutherans do not believe in change.
* Amish: Hey Parson, what's a light bulb?
* CALVINISTS: None - God has predestined when the light will be on. Calvinists do not change light bulbs. They simply read the instructions and pray that the light bulb will be one that has been chosen to be changed.
* Reformed Calvinists: It is YOUR FAULT that the bulb burned out, you scum!!
* TV EVANGELISTS: Only One. But for the message of light to continue, send in your donation today!
* WORSHIP LEADERS who use guitars: One. But soon all those around can warm up to its glowing.
* Members of a Southern Baptist church: TEN - One to actually change the bulb, and nine to say how much better they liked the old one.
* National Baptists: One to raise $4 million for new light bulbs, and 1 million to forgive him for embezzling the money. Not a single light bulb ever got changed.
* Christian Scientists: "It is only due to the limitations of your mortal mind that you think the room is dark."
* Eagle Forum: "Dear Readers, last week, Madeline Murray O'Hair sued the government to stop the use of light bulbs in public schools. Please send us money to fight for Jesus on this important issue."
* Christian Coalition: "The Bible says that Satan can appear as an Angel of Light. You're better off in the dark."
* Campus Crusade: "'Burned out bulb' sounds so legalistic. Light bulb changing is not a set of rules to follow, it is a relationship. You don't have to throw your brain out the window to use OUR light bulbs. You may have been to church all your life, but you really don't understand light bulbs until we explain them to you. God commands you to share our light bulbs with everyone you meet, asking merely that we be allowed to control every detail of their life in return. Light bulbs are the free gift that costs you everything."
* Catholic Grandmothers: "Don't mind me, I'll just sit here in the dark...."
* Jewish Grandmothers: "Don't mind me, We've always just sat here in the dark...."
* Catholics: Three. One to change it, one to lead the prayer, and one to call the priest so he can bless the new bulb.

[grizzabella]

Posted: 3/10/06 at 12:51pm

This is a good one, Calvin! Too funny and not all that far-fetched!

[sanda]

Posted: 3/10/06 at 12:54pm

Miss Pennywise, I tried the quiz and here is my result.

One question about this quiz is that this quiz seems based on what I currently believe. Should I join a church based on what I currently believe or should I hold an expectation about what I will believe after join some church?

1. Unitarian Universalism (100%)
2. Liberal Quakers (92%)
3. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (92%)
4. Secular Humanism (87%)
5. Theravada Buddhism (85%)
6. Neo-Pagan (79%)
7. New Age (74%)
8. Mahayana Buddhism (66%)
9. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (63%)
10. Taoism (60%)
11. Bah??Faith (58%)
12. Reform Judaism (56%)
13. New Thought (55%)
14. Scientology (52%)
15. Nontheist (52%)
16. Sikhism (51%)
17. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (49%)
18. Jainism (49%)
19. Orthodox Quaker (45%)
20. Jehovah's Witness (43%)
21. Hinduism (40%)
22. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (37%)
23. Seventh Day Adventist (21%)
24. Orthodox Judaism (18%)
25. Islam (16%)
26. Eastern Orthodox (10%)
27. Roman Catholic (10%)

[smartpenguin78]

Posted: 3/10/06 at 12:59pm

I don't really understand your question Sanda.
I think it is very important to find a church that can embrace you where you are.
Most churches vary from congregation to congregation.

[Mamie]

Posted: 3/10/06 at 1:26pm

I took the quiz too. I was sure it was going to come up with a suggestion that I start my own religion! I still may have to do that. I'm not sure exactly how to find a "mainline to liberal Christian Protestant"!

1. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (100%)
2. Liberal Quakers (95%)
3. Unitarian Universalism (89%)
4. Reform Judaism (78%)
5. Neo-Pagan (73%)
6. Orthodox Quaker (68%)
7. New Age (68%)
8. Secular Humanism (62%)
9. Bahá'í Faith (61%)
10. Mahayana Buddhism (58%)
11. Theravada Buddhism (57%)
12. New Thought (53%)
13. Sikhism (51%)
14. Taoism (49%)
15. Scientology (46%)
16. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (46%)
17. Orthodox Judaism (45%)
18. Eastern Orthodox (44%)
19. Roman Catholic (44%)
20. Seventh Day Adventist (42%)
21. Nontheist (39%)
22. Islam (39%)
23. Hinduism (38%)
24. Jainism (37%)
25. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (32%)
26. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (22%)
27. Jehovah's Witness (8%)

[sanda]

Posted: 3/10/06 at 1:35pm

smartpenguin, sorry for the confusion. Honestly I myself don't have a clear picture as well.

My question is that since I used to be an atheist, if I turn to Christianity, I don't think I choose a church based on who I am. No matter what church I choose, I need to do some change about my own belief. Which is fine for me as long as it isn't too dramstic. Or say, I can join a church and give a try to accept God and Jesus. But I doubt I want to change my belief about abortion, or evolution. And I want to select a group of people whom I feel comfortable to fit in.
Updated On: 3/10/06 at 01:35 PM

[theatrebabe]

Posted: 3/10/06 at 1:40pm

Hahaha. That made me laugh, Calvin.

I'm a little late here. But, yeah. I'd go with Unitarian Universalist. Very accepting, open, and welcoming. Atleast, the ones I've been to. You shouldn't have to change your beliefs to fit in there. The church I attend has Christians, Jews, Atheists, and many others. It's a mix.

Updated On: 3/10/06 at 01:40 PM

[Magdalene]

Posted: 3/10/06 at 1:49pm

maybe you should read the Bible first, to see if Christianity is what you really want.

[smartpenguin78]

Posted: 3/10/06 at 1:53pm

The UU is not a "christian Church" persay. If that is the route you are going there are many different paths to follow.

http://www.uua.org

[sanda]

Posted: 3/10/06 at 2:27pm

One reason that I want to join a Christian church is that in my understanding, western culture was based on Christianity. As a foreigner, I want to understand the western culture. It is very hard to acchieve this without knowing about Christianity

[jam_man]

Posted: 3/10/06 at 3:12pm

One option you may consider - starting your own church? Sounds like I'd join based on what you say. Mostly kidding, but I've always felt that that was the only way to have an organized religon that believes the same as you do if you aren't brought up in a certain religon. I've always felt organized religon almost goes against the purpose of reigon.

But enough about my personal beliefs, how about what the internet tells me I believe! Here's my quiz results:

1. Mainline to Liberal Christian Protestants (100%)
2. Liberal Quakers (97%)
3. Unitarian Universalism (92%)
4. Reform Judaism (87%)
5. Bahá'í Faith (82%)
6. Orthodox Judaism (73%)
7. Mahayana Buddhism (70%)
8. Neo-Pagan (68%)
9. Theravada Buddhism (68%)
10. Secular Humanism (64%)
11. Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints (Mormons) (63%)
12. Islam (63%)
13. New Age (63%)
14. Sikhism (62%)
15. Christian Science (Church of Christ, Scientist) (61%)
16. Jehovah's Witness (61%)
17. New Thought (58%)
18. Mainline to Conservative Christian/Protestant (56%)
19. Jainism (54%)
20. Orthodox Quaker (54%)
21. Nontheist (46%)
22. Scientology (45%)
23. Taoism (45%)
24. Eastern Orthodox (37%)
25. Roman Catholic (37%)
26. Hinduism (30%)
27. Seventh Day Adventist (21%)

Updated On: 3/10/06 at 03:12 PM

[Magdalene]

Posted: 3/10/06 at 3:40pm

If your belief system isn't there, joining a church to understand the West won't help. Try attending services of different churches---many welcome observers!

Or just ask any or us questions---we are a talkative bunch!