I Enjoy Being a Girl Vol 2!- Page 103

[withoutlovewithoutU]

Posted: 7/31/09 at 8:13pm

Even the hot vampires aren't making me feel better right now...

The guy I like is obviously too busy to talk to me... thus meaning he is not into me, right? Goddamnit, HE started this whole flirtation back up NOT ME.... Have any of y'all ever liked someone so much for so long that you just want to shove him/her to the ground and scream "I AM SEXY, FUNNY, AND PERFECT FOR YOU SO WAKE THE F*CK UP!" That is what it feels like. And I just really want a chance to show him that is who I have become... I am not the insecure girl I was three years ago and all I want is for him to see that..... well actually I just want to show that I am confidant and if he doesn't notice now then I will walk away and be fine and finally close the book on this dude. I am so sick of the games and the BS. It's like stop ****ing with me and grow some balls and tell me the truth!
God, I am a trip... Obviously if he had feelings for me then he would have done something by now, but I can't just walk away. He's got me under some damn hot, Chilan spell.... I'm screwed (unfortunately not literally :-p )

End of major rant.

[justagirl2]

Posted: 7/31/09 at 10:48pm

withoutlove, I'm sorry to hear that. Seriously though, if you have to TELL a guy that you're sexy, funny and perfect for him, he's an idiot. In a perfect world, anyone worth spending time with would notice such obvious things off the bat! They're so thick sometimes. It might be hard, but the only real way to get to the bottom of this is to ask him what's going on in his head. Or walk away, but I know you don't want to do that. I can sympathize for sure!

[Schmerg_The_Impaler]

Posted: 8/1/09 at 12:02am

Huge rant forthcoming...

So, Kels' post reminds me of this guy in my life who infuriates me SO MUCH. It's not a romantic kind of thing, but the way he treats me is so aggravating. We met last October when he was new to my school, and we kind of instantly clicked-- we had a lot in common, and we were instantly like really close friends within one day. He and I even hung around after the activity where we met ended and chatted and sang for hours. I was convinced that after that, we'd hang out all the time. But after that day, he acted like he barely knew me.

Then, once we were in rehearsal for a play we were doing together, he'd mostly ignore me, but every now and then, he'd pull me aside and ask me to come outside with him, and we'd have these conversations. He's a very funny, charming, and interesting guy, and very easy to talk to, but he'd just pretend I didn't exist and then he'd act like we were best friends.

He usually never talks to me, but every now and then, he'll just come up to me and tell me how talented I am and compliment everything I do in terms of acting or personality or anything like that. At the end of the year, I asked him for his yearbook signature, and he just looked at me and walked away without saying a word, but the next day was the last day of school, and he ran up to me and gave me the biggest hug of my life and twirled me around.

I thought I'd be over the weirdness of his personality now that it's summer, but we ended up auditioning for the same play. The day of auditions, we were hanging out and laughing together and having a great time, and he told me that I have a beautiful voice. Once rehearsals started, he never talked to me at all, even though we have all of our scenes together. Then one day two weeks ago, he decided he'd spend the whole rehearsal glued to my hip, laughing at everything I say and striking up conversations with me and working on scenes together.

We're performing the show now, and he's acting weirder than ever. Now, he usually ignores me and he never hangs out with me, but he compliments me NONSTOP whenever we're done with a scene. Every time I leave the stage, he tells me what a great job I did making some face or delivering some line or just how I walk or do my makeup or brandish my pistol or whatever. He keeps telling me I'm the nicest person he knows.

Today, my brother told me that this guy went up to him and said, "Your sister needs to have higher self-esteem. She's so smart and funny, and she's one of the most talented people I know, and no matter what I say, she just laughs and ignores it." Also... today, I was changing costumes alone in the girls' bathroom, and then this guy CAME INTO THE GIRLS' BATHROOM (while I was putting my pants on) and started washing his hands and saying, "Hahaaa, I knew I'd find you in here!" It was... bizarre. Then later tonight, I asked him a question, and he just completely ignored me and walked away, and he refused to hold my hand during curtain call.

I'm starting to wonder if this guy has a split personality or something? I actually had a nightmare yesterday about how I was on a crowded bus and the only empty scene was next to him, so I stood up, and fell down and landed in his lap and split my head open on a pole. I wouldn't mind if he was JUST rude to me or ignored me, but the way he's treating me makes no sense!

[Pianolin717]

Posted: 8/1/09 at 3:52am

Schmerg... WHAT AN A-HOLE!
I don't get people like you... I'd say he is childish and is trying to hide a crush, but this is just too bizarre! And to me, you don't have any self-esteem issues, HE is the one who does. GRR.
Let me know if I need to come slap him!

[nygrl232]

Posted: 8/1/09 at 4:48am

It's good to call people on their crap at least once in a while, assuming that you're in the mood to talk to them.

Someone walks in while you're changing and disrespects your space and makes smirky comments? "Is the symbol of the girl on the restroom door confusing to you, or do you wear dresses and count yourself eligible to come in here?" Or the shorter and sweeter, "Um, soap boy? Get the *&^@ out of here, you #$%*@le!"

Seriously, we care too much about being liked. Screw that. So few are worth our positive regard and prove that fact to us every day, especially in high school.

A guy isn't paying attention to you, you ignore him back. Mirror what people do, both in their presence and when they're not around. Shrug a lot. Whatever. Think about your life 2 years from now. Is he there, as a friend or more? No? Then psh, 86 him.

We tend to give people so much power when they're manipulating us, or treating us with little or no or poor regard. "Why?? Why?? We ask. Because. They're picking up on what's permissible with us. Not our fault--so much of what happens in life is unconscious habit and automatic response. Well, that goes both ways. Someone isn't nice to you--it's not that there's anything wrong with you, it's just not a jibing frequency. When someone is not kind, they're doing you a favor in a way. They're saying, "Don't waste time on me."

Fine. Thanks for the heads up. In fact, I've said that to people who've been arses to me. "Thanks for the heads up." Thanks for the forewarning, for supplying me with the information I needed.

[StockardFan]

Posted: 8/1/09 at 8:22am

Schmerg, that dude sounds like he has a personality disorder. Seriously.

Clever, yes that is the guy. His name is Billy Worth. He's a hottie.

[withoutlovewithoutU]

Posted: 8/1/09 at 8:58am

Schmerg, that dude reminds me of my ex (gee, do we see a pattern here... yes I need therapy).... he had bi-polar and other issues, but in the end I ended up telling him that none of those things excused the way he treated me! nygrl is so right... we care too much about being liked sometimes and cannot accept that someone is just a waste of time, energy, and makeup!

My problem (well one of them) is that I have lived in the same place my whole life and the people in this town do not see me, so when someone pays even the slightest bit of attention to me I loose all sense! it's just lovely.... :-/

[nygrl232]

Posted: 8/1/09 at 9:28am

And you were probably treated like crap by various people, wlwu. Sorry to be presumptuous, but your relationship with say, your father (yes, Freudian, but the dude had a point sometimes) can affect dealings with guys pretty steeply, especially if you were never raised to assert yourself. Few girls are. It helps to have brothers, studies show.

Regardless of where you are geographically, if the slightest bit of positive attention from anyone, especially from anyone of the opposite sex, makes you act in ways that arrest your good judgment or whatever, chances are, you were neglected/abused or just not treated very well by Dad. Or Mom, or anyone, but especially Dad.

Men are raised with outright competition. Make them work for it but not in an abusive way. It's true that a lot of insufferable bitches attract a lot of men, but beyond that attraction step, it's still a balancing act. Don't be too nice or permissive. Just take care of yourself. That is, if they're decent, cool guys and worth your time.

[Schmerg_The_Impaler]

Posted: 8/1/09 at 10:49am

Oh, just to clear up the weirdnes of this guy-- it's not like I try to be his friend. I steer clear of him whenever I can. And yes, I did get mad at him and said, "Unless you're secretly a girl, can you get out of here right now?" when he came into the bathroom. But usually when he talks to me, I'm nice back, just because I have such a hard time being rude to anyone. He's always telling me that I'm too nice, because I see good in everyone, and I'm always defending people when other people talk about them behind their backs.

I can't completely dislike him, because he can be really funny and nice when he wants to be, but it's so infuriating. I never thought I'd cry over a guy who I wasn't even romantically interested in.

[nygrl232]

Posted: 8/1/09 at 11:08am

You're crying over him because he's manipulating you and pressing your buttons--he constantly lets you know he's observing you and makes remarks on your self-esteem. He's a little sh*thead for preying on anyone's issues, but the planet is crawling with such people.

He's projecting, I'm willing to bet. He's got self-esteem issues too, and puts up a smokescreen by pointing out that very issue in others. Takes one to know one.

[faithzilla]

Posted: 8/1/09 at 3:58pm

UUUUGGGHHHHHH!!!!!

I have been slaving away at this stupid effing SAT class and I just graded my test and I got the same effing score!!!! I am so mad!!!! Why am I doing this everyday for three hours if it's not even going to help??!!

Sorry I just needed a mini-rant :)

[Select a Member Name]

Posted: 8/1/09 at 5:47pm

I am so over fickle guys. They infuriate me.

[StockardFan]

Posted: 8/1/09 at 5:56pm

OMG, listening to you guys talk, I'm so glad I don't have to date anymore....LOL

Henry has this little girl Emily over right now and I really should be supervising because last time she was over they were playing in the basement and he told me later he had kissed her. On the mouth. They're 6. But he's had her (and some other girls...what a ladies' man) over here all day swimming and I need a break.

faithzilla, that must be frustrating! Keep at it though!

[Select a Member Name]

Posted: 8/1/09 at 6:13pm

Stockard, your 6 year old is getting more action than I've had in months!

[shh282]

Posted: 8/2/09 at 12:16am

or I've had in almost two years. sweet lord.

Ladies - I turn 20 tomorrowwww [the 3rd, it's already after midnight here in NY] and I would like each of you if you so choose to give me words of wisdom for my birthday / my twenties.


EEEEEE

[justagirl2]

Posted: 8/2/09 at 1:03am

Happy early birthday, shh! You're (almost) not a teenager anymore! Now, I'm only a year and a half older than you are, so I feel a bit like Cher in Clueless when she gets all pretentious to Tai despite being one month older and says "as someone older and wiser...," but here goes.

The most important thing about your twenties is figuring out who you are, and being that person despite what others think. Young people tend to worry so much about how others perceive them...if they like them, if they're mad at them, etc. At this point, anyone who doesn't like you for YOU, can go f*ck themselves. One thing I've learned so far is that dead weight is just that, and there's no reason to keep people who are bad energy around. Make this decade all about you, what you want, and how to get it. It's okay to be selfish in one's twenties.

The little things: don't be afraid to try new things (especially foods), don't build a reliance on credit cards, and travel as much as you can!

[faithzilla]

Posted: 8/2/09 at 1:43am

Oh, Stockard, that story cracked me up!

Shh- What a wonderful idea! Why haven't I thought to ask these amazing women (and Piano!) for their insights?? So if anyone wants to add any advice about the high schools years (and years beyond of course), be my guest!

[StockardFan]

Posted: 8/2/09 at 12:06pm

LOL, yeah he's a piece of work......

Hmmm......I don't remember the majority of my 20's. But HAPPY EARLY BIRHTDAY, SHHHH!

[clever name]

Posted: 8/2/09 at 12:37pm

Happy Birthday, shh!

I had so much fun in my 20's! Enjoy it!

[blondebaby589]

Posted: 8/2/09 at 4:06pm

Happy early bday Shh! Being in your 20s is fantastic. But jag is right, listen to her advice

[killertofu333]

Posted: 8/2/09 at 4:26pm

Shh, have a splendiferous birthday!!

Since I'm pretty much full-on in my twenties now (I'll be 23 this year) I guess I could try to say something somewhat insightful...

Always look at others as potential friends until they prove to you that they don't deserve your friendship. Be sure that the person you project to others is the actual person you want others to see. Make no apologies for wanting what you want, being who you are, saying what you say, feeling how you feel, or doing what you do. (Unless you kill a man, then you might wanna say a quick I'm sorry.) Never EVER settle for anything that's subpar.

Now for the "other" stuff:

Don't drink beer from a funnel. Chances are someone else's lips have already been wrapped around it and they had herpes. Always be weary when a guy says "Oh c'mon I promise I'll just keep the pictures on my laptop. I swear." (A friend had problems with an ex after she "posed" for him then dumped his ass. Tsk, tsk, tsk...) If another girl starts some sh*t at a party or the bar, don't be afraid to cut a bitch or at least verbally assault her. Sometimes it's a necessary evil. Making out in dark corners? Nuff said.

Faith, take everything I said to Shh and just try your damnedest to make it out of high school alive. High school's a mind-f*ck that takes no prisoners. However rest assured that those who get their jollies from screwing with others will probably wind up drinking too much in college, dropping out and detailing your new Mercedes 10 years down the line. Perhaps I'm just reliving my own experiences. But I do hope that my arch nemesis from high school hits the skids soon so I can rub it in her face and laugh at her at my reunion. Does that make me mean? Whatevs.

[blondebaby589]

Posted: 8/2/09 at 4:46pm

Don't drink beer from a funnel. Chances are someone else's lips have already been wrapped around it and they had herpes.

So true.

[justagirl2]

Posted: 8/2/09 at 5:12pm

That happened to a girl I know (herpes from a funnel)! Thank GOD I was the DD that night! And thank God I hate her anyway.

[withoutlovewithoutU]

Posted: 8/2/09 at 6:23pm

This advice is awesome... I turn 20 on the 20th! Bring it on! Lol

So I am singing at this blues jam tomorrow night and txted that stupid boy I was talking about.... I hope he shows up just because I have Hound Dog on my set list and it would be amazing to belt that while looking right at him! He's a stupid, stupid boy.... and I think I am done with him because he really is not worth my time and energy.... I can't make him love me (cue the Bonnie Rait song!).

[Select a Member Name]

Posted: 8/2/09 at 6:38pm

Happy birthday shh! I have no advice. I'm still trying to figure out everything myself.

withoutlove, break a leg at the jam! And boys are stupid :P