I need some emotional support- Page 3

[broadwaywriter]

Posted: 4/26/08 at 10:34pm

Ok, I didn't want to say it, but what the hell!?! Why would any of you want to say negative things about me at this point?! I guess I should've taken some of the advice from posters before me that I shouldn't go to a message board for advice. Wow. I'm having a real life problem and as much as I am being a dramatic teenager, I need to have ambition and I've been losing all of it so fast recently. This is like an emotional breakdown and I need to recover. Maybe I need to cry and let it ALL out but since I have no one to talk to or cry with at this moment, I thought I'd try to get it out on here. To those of you who have been contributing nice things, thank you so much and please continue to do so.

Oh and with this whole kid, his friend group is mean, like REALLY mean kids. I can't count how many times I've heard his friends say anti-gay things. It's like a clique that thinks they are "all that" but they aren't. Maybe I just need to ignore them and stick to nice boys . Wow it's weird to post a smilie face at this point.

[Jane2]

Posted: 4/26/08 at 10:38pm

Did I miss some posts? What negative things were said about you?

[george95]

Posted: 4/26/08 at 10:41pm

broadwaywriter, yeah I called you a dramatic teenager, but that wasn't an insult at all. I'm a high school teacher. I'm with teenagers all day. They're dramatic. Even the best of them. Dont worry about it.

And I'm a firm believer in tough love. You wanted advice, you gotta hear the tough stuff along with the cutesy, heart-warming messages.

You do need to have ambition, youre right. But, you also need to be ok with the fact that youre not grown up yet, emotionally. Its ok to cry. A lot. All the time. Because you failed the algebra test. Because Timmy and the cool kids are mean. Or, like the kids I teach, because you watched a man get stabbed to death at the candy store around the corner from your school at 2:30 in the afternoon.

Just because I said something that might be tough to hear, doesnt mean I am being mean to you or anything. Just trying to help.

[SweetQintheLights]

Posted: 4/26/08 at 10:41pm

I think the major underlying problem here is the:

"cute, preppy, possibly mean, possibly gay, possibly straight boy"

I think all the other stuff just adds to the problem but I believe that this anxiety and need for support comes from the issues stemming from the boy. At this point, it seems the other worries are insignificant in comparison.

[broadwaywriter]

Posted: 4/26/08 at 10:42pm

Updated On: 4/26/08 at 10:42 PM

[broadwaywriter]

Posted: 4/26/08 at 10:45pm

I think this boy is almost a separate issue that led me to realizing that even if I had crazy amazing jaw-dropping talent, I wouldn't have people that would respect me as a performer. I mean, I'm not planning on being Chris Crocker, but I want to live in the open.

[broadwaywriter]

Posted: 4/26/08 at 10:48pm

Do you guys think I'm going crazy or that these are just normal personal struggles? Some of you told me that I needed to get help, but haven't you guys ever been self-conscious and afraid? I think I sort of understand what I'm doing, but I can't really stop myself from believing it's true. It's almost like I know I'm not sure if this fear is valid and I'm afraid to stare it in the face.

[SweetQintheLights]

Posted: 4/26/08 at 10:55pm

"Do you guys think I'm going crazy or that these are just normal personal struggles? Some of you told me that I needed to get help, but haven't you guys ever been self-conscious and afraid? I think I sort of understand what I'm doing, but I can't really stop myself from believing it's true. It's almost like I know I'm not sure if this fear is valid and I'm afraid to stare it in the face."

Yes, while they can (and may) be considered "normal" personal struggles, we (BWW) don't know you and how significant or insignificant they are. More importantly, you don't need to be crazy to go to a therapist. I bet there are people that you know that go to a psychologist that you probably don't think they need the help.

I think you should try going to see a therapist. Not because you are crazy. But because you have problems, like most humans do, that a therapist may be able to help with.

Updated On: 4/26/08 at 10:55 PM

[BkCollector]

Posted: 4/26/08 at 10:59pm

"Even if I had crazy amazing jaw-dropping talent"

Girl, seriously, you need to check yoself. Because you'll never get anywhere with a big head like that.

[broadwaywriter]

Posted: 4/26/08 at 11:04pm

You think I have a "big head"? That's not what I was saying at. all. I was saying no matter what happens, I feel like it's permanently blocking me - not that I have amazing talent.

[george95]

Posted: 4/26/08 at 11:07pm

I dont know, I kinda think that you think you have amazing jaw-droppingly awesome talent.

[broadwaywriter]

Posted: 4/26/08 at 11:30pm

I think it might be a bad idea to try to talk to this guy. It's like teasing him in front of me. There is this really nice guy in a show I'm in right now and though he doesn't look as physically desirable, he seems really cool. I'm almost 100% sure he's gay and even if I don't become anything more than friends with him, at least I'll be talking to nicer people. I think the other guy I like is really all about looks + money. He just carries around his expensive electronics + his expensive clothes and hangs out with pretty people with pretty houses and pretty images. I'm really not about that superficial crap and even if he isn't like that at heart, I'm not really interested in being with someone so dark and angry.

[broadwaywriter]

Posted: 4/26/08 at 11:33pm

Wow, there have been over 770 views at this point and I haven't gotten any hateful private messages. That's shows how supportive this board + some theatre people can be. I want to thank best12bars because I think his comments have been especially helpful.
Updated On: 4/26/08 at 11:33 PM

[roquat]

Posted: 4/27/08 at 12:01am

It's all right, broadwaywriter. Calm down.

I must tell you one thing, regardless of when or whether you decide to come out. DO NOT live as if you have anything to be ashamed of. Don't subscribe to the idea that homosexuality is a dark, terrible secret people need to be protected from. If you treat it that way, so will others. You shouldn't come out until you can make the announcement with complete confidence and you are ready to turn aside arguments about it being a "phase" or a "choice."

In the meantime, if you live your life as proudly and honestly as you know, you will inspire respect in the people around you--and the ones who are worth caring about will not give two ****s about your sexuality when you tell them. Some of them probably have an idea about it already. But if you are demonstrating that your sexuality hasn't blocked or "crippled" you in any way--that it is just a fact--the actual "coming out" may even turn out to be an anticlimax ("I know. So?")

[PalJoey]

Posted: 4/27/08 at 12:10am

Have you considered Scientology?

Posted: 4/27/08 at 12:46am

BK did you forget that this personality is married to a linguist? How does your wife feel about you being gay? Maybe she could give this young man some advice- I think she'd tell hi to be honest and not ruin some woman's life.

[Elphaba]

Posted: 4/27/08 at 12:25pm

Bravo Phyllis, you beat me to it.

I'll add for a high school student to think he is the "best in his town" reeks of issues, and sorry only a few get discovered in drug stores and become famous.......and frankly I don't ever remember anyt of them thinking at high school age that they were the "best"

seek therapy....NOW!

[blueroses]

Posted: 4/27/08 at 12:33pm

"To those of you who have been contributing nice things, thank you so much and please continue to do so."

So, in other words, people should tell you only what YOU want to hear?

[Elphaba]

Posted: 4/27/08 at 12:34pm

blue, that's what that poster always does......only wants opinions that jive with his own.....absolutely ridiculous

[TheatreDiva90016]

Posted: 4/27/08 at 12:59pm

Shouldn't this be on the student board?


"Now most of you people seem accepting so I feel comfortable posting this on here."
I see you joined a month ago, so obviously you don't know that most of us couldn't care less about this kind of dreck.


Why are you asking total strangers for advice on how to live your life?

Updated On: 4/27/08 at 12:59 PM

[TomMonster]

Posted: 4/27/08 at 1:02pm

It's cheaper.

[Jane2]

Posted: 4/27/08 at 1:19pm

This has turned out to be something very different than the way it started. I had responded to someone whom I thought was struggling with the very serious issue of coming out. Now I see it's really about having a crush and getting in with a certain crowd at school.

Perhaps you should take this to the student board.

[broadwaywriter]

Posted: 4/27/08 at 1:19pm

Those of you who are blind enough not to realize that I wasn't exactly thinking clearly last night need to back off and stop insulting me. Of course I only wanted opinions I wanted to hear because I was trying to build my confidence back up. I was trying to tell myself I was the best in the town to make myself feel better. Wow. YOU need some help if you think I reek of issues. I don't want your bitter judgmental crap.

EDIT: The reason I didn't take this to the student boards is because I don't want student opinions on whether gay people can make it in society.
Updated On: 4/27/08 at 01:19 PM

[TheatreDiva90016]

Posted: 4/27/08 at 1:21pm

How are we supposed to know you, or your state of mind?

Get over yourself, and keep this crap on the student boards.

Updated On: 4/27/08 at 01:21 PM

[PalJoey]

Posted: 4/27/08 at 1:23pm

I still say Scientology is the answer for you.