Is "Twink"an offensive word?- Page 6

[Phyllis Rogers Stone]

Posted: 11/15/12 at 1:40pm

Thanks, Sock Puppet!

[SonofRobbieJ]

Posted: 11/15/12 at 1:48pm

Though I will say this (regarding Caleb's post).

Now is the time to try everything on. You're still forming your identity, not just as a gay man, but as a man in general. I don't think there's anything wrong with exploring different ways of being. Though we have, in this thread, made a case for rejecting labels, there are many people who have found important things when they've happened upon a subculture such as the bear world. I don't think there's anything wrong with finding out what these worlds are about, as long as you aren't compromising your moral baseline.

Posted: 11/15/12 at 1:50pm

So....to throw some kerosene on the fire....

Anyone see the new Target ads about Christmas shopping? It's three girls texting back and forth with their Very Sassy Gay Friend about shopping at TARGET! He could not be more effeminate if he were wearing fairy wings and sucking a Popsicle. Stuff like that usually rolls right off me but this ad made me puke

Someone else will have to hunt down a link

[Phyllis Rogers Stone]

Posted: 11/15/12 at 1:55pm

I haven't seen it. It probably wouldn't bug me, because I get that gay men do come in all stripes and - while some may argue with this - I feel like representations of gay men on tv now are so focused on making them seem "normal" or "average" as though femme gay men never really existed.

My only qualm about representations of us is when it's implied that that representation goes for ALL of us, like in the video we were talking about a few pages ago.

[Jungle Red]

Posted: 11/15/12 at 4:39pm

One of my things that piss me off about the gay community (I have no idea if this happens in the LBT community) is when someone from one community dismisses someone just because they're not part of that community. I've seen it happen more than once.

Big Muscle Bears threw a party at 440 Castro a year or so ago and I went (I'm not a member) with my friend (who is) and he's also a twink. He's tall, but skinny. We hadn't walked five feet into the door and some older bear scoffed and said something to the effect of "You don't belong here". We had already been drinking but that sent him over. He was pissed. And understandably so.

Posted: 11/15/12 at 4:58pm

Yeah the last "Bear Night" I went to, some guys were unspeakably ugly to my boyfriend who had (apparently) one too many buttons undone on his shirt causing them to recoil in horror (at length) at his not-hairy-enough chest. He was pleasant about it but I went over and read them out- reminding them that at 30 years younger, 50 pounds lighter and immeasurably cuter than either of them were, he could walk into any bar in the city and start collecting phone numbers if he so desired so no wonder a couple of tired old queens felt threatened by him.

Snap. Somebody got TOLD.

[PalJoey]

Posted: 11/15/12 at 5:48pm

Bears as a group are no better or worse than any other group, no more or less cliquey, no more or less welcoming, no more or lees "unspeakably ugly."

Generalizing about any group will only get you an accuracy rate of about 25 percent, no more, maybe less.

[EricMontreal22]

Posted: 11/15/12 at 5:55pm

The bear thing is just a microcosm of any group. The way most gays have felt excluded or they didn't belong and then (to generalize) once they form their own group, the same politics start happening--so groups like bears splinter off because they feel they don't belon--and likewise the same thing happens. I know bear nights started off as a place where gay men who felt they didn't fit the gay ideal could go, but the way human nature is, it seemed inevitable that they'd start to behave the same way. Sad.