Is "Twink"an offensive word?- Page 4

[themysteriousgrowl]

Posted: 11/14/12 at 5:14pm

These stories about "OMG you and [random homosexual] would be PERFECT for each other!!!" (which I still go through at 31) remind me to also feel bad for my best friend, who, Jesus Christ, yes, is a girl with a biting yet endearing sarcastic sense of humor. She gets "fag hag." We get "Will and Grace." Oh, it's so much fun.

But what she gets from many gay men when we go to bars is -- within the first minute -- the first minute -- of meeting her, they'll look at me and then look at her and then look at me and point at her go, "OMG. I love her." And then they'll give her some form of side-hug. It's become such a cliche in our relationship that she now reacts with open hostility and I now react with total dismissiveness.

[SonofRobbieJ]

Posted: 11/14/12 at 5:17pm

First of all...31? Damn, you working that Pearl Cream, aintcha?

And B...that SH*T ain't cute. It happens to me in reverse. Like I'm some exotic pet. A labradoodle or some such thing.

[Phyllis Rogers Stone]

Posted: 11/14/12 at 5:23pm

I thought you were younger, too, but like Vampire Pam, I can no longer tell human ages.

[themysteriousgrowl]

Posted: 11/14/12 at 5:23pm

Aww, thanks, Robbie. That's nice. It's important to look young!

In gay years, 25 is ancient, and 30 is dead, after all!

But, yeah, it's super gross.

Sometimes I feel like I'm too hard on gay men, but then I remember that I'm just hard on assholes in general. (Tee hee hee hee.)

This Grindr situation sounds dire.

I can't believe I've seen nothing of it in my News Feed.

[SonofRobbieJ]

Posted: 11/14/12 at 5:25pm

I just find it comforting to be having a discussion on this site with people who are in the same decade of life as I!

I once got into a bitch-fight about MY FAIR LADY with an erudite 14-year-old. I hated myself for a good six months.

[EricMontreal22]

Posted: 11/14/12 at 5:25pm

My twin sister largely now has no interest in going to gay bars with me, for exactly the reason Growl said. I admit, it used to annoy me when I started going because she would get instant attention--guys wanting to dance with her the moment she walks in--and I'd be ignored or barely aknowledged. Now, I have more sympathy for her--she knows that it's barely even about who she is. Now, when we do encounter a drunk gay friend of mine who reacts that way, I have to work hard to tell her that he genuinely WAS excited to meet her, and is a nice, bearable guy--at least when sober and not on the dance floor.

I admit, with Sassy Gay Friend, the fact I know the comic is so openly gay (he even made one of those annoying albeit well intentioned It Gets Better vids) makes me give him leeway for playing up the stereotype since he clearly seems to know what it is--and I found the lit humour about how stupid various characters behaved mildly amusing.

[Kad]

Posted: 11/14/12 at 5:30pm

Most people would rather not openly share Grindr stories on their Facebook.

I've dodged the "you would be perfect for my friend!!" bullet, mostly because I am crazy aloof with my personal life when with most of my friends.

I'm also 23 but look older- lots of fun on Grindr. I've gotten many messages along the lines of "your really 23??" I usually respond with, "I didn't know that was a greeting." One charmer followed that up with "you look like 40". Considering his photo was of the Capitol, I told him he looked over 200.

[Phyllis Rogers Stone]

Posted: 11/14/12 at 5:34pm

Well, you've also got the problem the vast majority of people on Grinder seem to be lying about their ages. I'm kind of compulsively honest bout stuff like that, because I don't know what people expect is going to happen when they meet someone and it turns out they are using a picture that's ten years old or that they are 50 pounds heavier than they said they were (and I have no issue with a heavier guy. Indeed, like Robbie, I tend to gravitate towards guys like that, but it's the lying that just gets to me). I once dated a guy and didn't find out until three months in that he was ten years older than he told me he was online!

I never know what to do about my age, because I'm 38 and I look younger, so when I put my real age on Grindr I wonder if people really think I'm 43 and using a much older picture.

[PalJoey]

Posted: 11/14/12 at 5:34pm

Meet the "sexy, furry and hilarious cast" of "Where the Bears Are"--a new webseries on ReelGayTV:


http://youtu.be/OIKt3x3eERs

[themysteriousgrowl]

Posted: 11/14/12 at 5:34pm

^LOL (<--that was for Kad's last post)

It's funny. When I was 23, Kad, people thought I was in my 30s, and now that I'm in my 30s, people think I'm in my 20s. I'm not sure what causes that. I hope when I'm in my 70s, people think I'm in my 80s and then when I'm in my 80s I'll be dead.

My Facebook friends definitely share their Grindr stories.

They post screencaps, for God's sake.

Updated On: 11/14/12 at 05:34 PM

[Kad]

Posted: 11/14/12 at 5:36pm

Phyllis- I'm compulsively honest about that, too, for those very reasons.

I met a guy who has since become a good friend on Grindr- lying about his age, shaving off 5 or 6 years. I'm still not sure of his exact age, but he easily gets away with it.

[EricMontreal22]

Posted: 11/14/12 at 5:49pm

The age thing is obnoxious--when I was underaged, I had no trouble getting into bars, or buying booze which I found cool enough. Then in my early 20s, I admit I was kinda insulted when my friends would get carded and I wouldn't. Now I'm in my early 30s, and in the past 4 years get carded more often than not (I even had someone at the liquor store refuse to believe my ID was legit), which may have to do partly with the fact that I look after myself better now, but really is just a chore.

But I'm sure everyone who has met people from online has had stories of meeting up with someone who looks VASTLY different from their pics (older, heavier, hair, etc). As others said, I just don't get it. If you are intending to actually met people from the site--and not just chat--and these guys obviously are, are you just hoping that once you do the person won't remember what your pic was, or will feel sorry for you, or something? I met one person who clearly hadn't even been using his own photo and he literally stood there confused, whining "But I drove all of this way! You sure you don't just wanna do something?" It's not what they look like, so much that if you can't trust them from the start to at least be trying to represent who they are, there doesn't seem to be much possibility from there.

And ugh about that Bear webseries--a few of them are kinda hot, but so far I find gay reality shows even more off-putting than straight ones.

[EricMontreal22]

Posted: 11/14/12 at 5:51pm

Re the Grindr anger messages PJ posted. I don't use Grindr (not for any moral reasons--I'm just in the stone age with a very old cell phone I'm more than happy with that can't run apps)--but seriously, it's down for ONE DAY and people are complaining that the company doesn't know how to run itself?

[binau]

Posted: 11/14/12 at 5:53pm

Oh grindr. When will you be up again??

[CATSNYrevival]

Posted: 11/14/12 at 5:57pm

I'm so confused.

Posted: 11/14/12 at 6:06pm

I think I first used Gay.com in about 1997 (?). I recently logged on and was delighted to see some of my "pals" still active and even online. I remember one guy because we hooked up on 9/10/2001- the night before 9/11. I remember him fondly so I went to say hi- SAME picture and he's still claiming to be 26. I didn't believe he was 26 twelve years ago. I certainly don't think he was 14.

[Phyllis Rogers Stone]

Posted: 11/14/12 at 6:17pm

Joe, I almost told a similar gay.com story earlier. When I moved back to Chicago from St Louis I looked in on gay.com (which seems to be mostly a ghost town at this point) and there were dudes using identical pictures from five years earlier. And five years earlier, they'd had that those pictures up for a few years as it was.

I like when a guy would nag you for a picture (even though I'd always have one up in my profile) and then when they reciprocate, it's some low resolution nonsense of them taken from 500 feet away.

I also like that some guys will still go "A/S/L?" 1. I always have all the information in my profile anyway and 2. Why the hell are you asking my sex?

But guys do like to parrot things they see another guy say. I remember for the longest time all the guys online would say that one of the things like they'd to do was "a lot of body contact." Really? You're looking to get laid and you like body contact? Why, I never would have gotten that. But for years, that would be the first thing someone who said when asked what they liked to do in bed.

And now it's all "mild to wild." I literally cringe when someone has that in a profile.

Updated On: 11/14/12 at 06:17 PM

[Yawper]

Posted: 11/14/12 at 7:17pm

Alternative meaning formerly used a lot in economic discussions (i.e. context matters):

TWo Income, No Kids

[Jay Lerner-Z]

Posted: 11/14/12 at 7:51pm

I guess I was a twink up 'til recently, but I've grown a moustache for Movember. Do I still qualify?

[CATSNYrevival]

Posted: 11/14/12 at 7:53pm

^I'm pretty sure twinks aren't allowed to have facial hair. That makes them a jwink or a twunk.

[Jay Lerner-Z]

Posted: 11/14/12 at 8:00pm

Thank you. I will amend my driver's license accordingly.

[Kad]

Posted: 11/14/12 at 8:11pm

I always thought the more common acronym was DINK: dual income, no kids.

[Phyllis Rogers Stone]

Posted: 11/14/12 at 8:16pm

Me too.

[EricMontreal22]

Posted: 11/14/12 at 8:37pm

Mustache is fine--there are plenty of hipster twinks.

Phyllis, I still see the body contact thing a lot--which like you said, doesn't exactly get very specific... Of course there's always the classic where the guy has only a****shot or torso pic but says in his profile he's only looking for friends, no one night stands...

[CATSNYrevival]

Posted: 11/14/12 at 8:42pm

^Hipster twink is a total contradiction.