Is "Twink"an offensive word?- Page 2

Posted: 11/14/12 at 1:53pm

It might have- but really, knowing she's a Banana Queen tells me everything I need to know about her.

[Phyllis Rogers Stone]

Posted: 11/14/12 at 1:57pm

Also, I think certain descriptors, like "rice queen," are considered vaguely, if not explicitly, racist now.

[Phyllis Rogers Stone]

Posted: 11/14/12 at 2:02pm

And Wynbish, I can't let this pass - Monica was referred to solely as twinkie, not a twink.

[doodlenyc]

Posted: 11/14/12 at 2:03pm

Banana queen

[Phyllis Rogers Stone]

Posted: 11/14/12 at 2:07pm

HAHAHAHA! That picture is so unnerving!

Posted: 11/14/12 at 2:23pm

Phyllis as I typed "rice queen" I wondered if someone would think it racist. I do recall battles back in the day about "Does liking only white guys (or Asian guys or black guys, etc) make you a racist?"

Then decades later, John Mayer enrages America by saying his penis is a white supremacist. The more things change....

[EricMontreal22]

Posted: 11/14/12 at 2:24pm

I think it did originally mean the equivalent of a himbo--especially a young, boy-like, gay one. (ie Twinkie). Butnow I think, at least among gays, it does basically mean a body type the way bears or whatever other ridiculous terms are used. I'm sure certain people could find any of the terms offensive, depending on the circumstance, but I doubt this is the first time One Direction have been called twinks, and I doubt they care...

And I LOVE Josephine Suprstar! Camp disco at its peak, from master Village People/Richie Family/Eartha Kitt producer Jacques Morali. I heard a story that in the 80s, someone brought Phylicia Rashad a copy of that album to sign at an interview and she got so mad, she left the room.

[PalJoey]

Posted: 11/14/12 at 2:25pm

There were worse racist phrases than "rice queen," phrases that involved excrement not food.

I'm glad the whole practice died out.

[Phyllis Rogers Stone]

Posted: 11/14/12 at 2:27pm

"Does liking only white guys (or Asian guys or black guys, etc) make you a racist?"

I think that's complicated and I understand people have preferences, but I'm always fascinated when I see profiles of white gay dudes who say they unequivocally are only looking for a white partner, or even worse, when they say they are looking for white/Asian/Hispanic guys ONLY. And then say, "I'm not a racist, just my preference." Yeah, I fail to see how it's not racist to know you'll never be attracted to a single person in an entire ethnic group. "I'm not racist, but I know I'll never be attracted to a black person because they are black."

Updated On: 11/14/12 at 02:27 PM

[PalJoey]

Posted: 11/14/12 at 2:31pm

"Does liking only white guys (or Asian guys or black guys, etc) make you a racist?"

No necessarily. But DIS-liking only one race absolutely does.

[EricMontreal22]

Posted: 11/14/12 at 2:38pm

"I'm glad the whole practice died out. "

Now it's basically changed to online profiles that say "no fems or asians, please"... The more things change...

[themysteriousgrowl]

Posted: 11/14/12 at 2:41pm

masc musc

u b 2

[SonofRobbieJ]

Posted: 11/14/12 at 2:46pm

^ And it's always a lie.

I just had a gay tell me (after making some 'gay' comment) that he really is masculine. And I said, 'I don't give a SH*T. As long as you're not an Asshole.'

[EricMontreal22]

Posted: 11/14/12 at 2:51pm

I'm not sure if it's always a lie, but in my (semi-limited) experience, the guys who identify as "str8 acting" don't really fit any definition of that offensive term I could imagine... (Of course the fact they're on a gay hook up site in the first place, kinda proves that lie right there).

[themysteriousgrowl]

Posted: 11/14/12 at 2:54pm

The problem with these hangups gay men have about perceived masculinity is that you have to put the benchmark somewhere. They think they're masculine because they see other guys wearing pink pants and glittery eyeliner and carrying Coach bags, but they like football and know how to change their own oil... not realizing that their image of their own masculinity is a total joke to your average homophobic straight male and that they'd stick out like a sore thumb at a Super Bowl party populated by, say, my father and his friends.

So, yeah, you go right on rejecting guys because they're not masculine enough for you, and you call it a preference.

Never mind the straight men hear you speak once and then call you a fag as soon as you leave the room.

Sorry, but I don't see much difference in the mechanism that operates that prejudice.

Don't we have enough trouble without doing it to each other?

Posted: 11/14/12 at 2:55pm

It's always helpful to ask "str8 acting" guys you meet online what's so str8 about looking for guys to have sex with.

[doodlenyc]

Posted: 11/14/12 at 2:55pm

Yes, sex gay sex is, inherently, the opposite of "straight acting".

Updated On: 11/14/12 at 02:55 PM

[EricMontreal22]

Posted: 11/14/12 at 3:04pm

"So I've been thinking- how many classifications of gay men are there?

Twink- young, pretty boy
Bear- older, fatter hairy
Otter- Thin and hairy
Cub- young and hairy "

I think it gets even more convulated, at least in "bear code". A friend of mine who does identify with the bear community (a little too much, sometimes I think) says that I'm officially a wolf. Because I'm not fat enought to be a bear, but am hairy and too chunky to be an otter. I guess I'd rather be a wolf, than an otter, if given the chance, but...

"Sorry, but I don't see much difference in the mechanism that operates that prejudice.

Don't we have enough trouble without doing it to each other? "

Exactly. I guess it's something that maybe minorities often deal with--the need to classify into sub-cultures. I also wonder if part of it goes to the theory that (at least till recently) few gay men really had a "gay life" until after high school--so they missed out on their own form of being categorized the way some high schoolers were... (Though I was categorized with the "dirties" because I was in arts programs and smoked between classes...)

Posted: 11/14/12 at 3:17pm

Dirties? How bizarre. At my school you'd have been an Art Stoner.

[themysteriousgrowl]

Posted: 11/14/12 at 3:19pm

This kid came on to me once online, and we had a good conversation about music and general interests. Then he asked if I was "masc," and I told him I didn't know what that meant. Then he said, you know, do you act like a girl or like an average, normal guy? So I gave him an abbreviated and less aggressive version of the rant above and basically said that it didn't really matter how I answered because I had no way of knowing his criteria. He didn't know what to do with that. (I think his exact response was "???") Then he said something like "Well usually guys who say it's nonsense are really feminine." And then I told him that we clearly weren't a match and "Have a nice day" and all that.

Now, people have applied the term "straight-acting" to me since I came out. I don't agree or understand or like it, especially if a gay guy says it. It seems to make my mom happy, but I certainly don't feel it when my brother-in-law is in the room. At any rate, the general consensus leads me to believe it's accurate on some collective social level, though I'd have and would never describe myself as such. But this kid who came onto me left that conversation thinking the opposite. In his mind, I was wearing a gown and dancing to Cher in high heels. And I felt a little guilty, knowing I allowed him to remain ignorant in his prejudice and resigning myself to the fact that you can't change people like that because they have to change themselves. I felt both a little triumphant and a little sad.

[Phyllis Rogers Stone]

Posted: 11/14/12 at 3:27pm

Then he said something like "Well usually guys who say it's nonsense are really feminine."

Yes, this. I'm in total agreement with everything you've been writing about this, but man, this exactly. They put their hangup on you and then leave you feeling like you are the one with the problem, because you don't spend your time obsessing about where you fit on the "masc" spectrum.

Updated On: 11/14/12 at 03:27 PM

[Playbilly]

Posted: 11/14/12 at 3:28pm

Labels only empower the labeler. Meant to degenerate in some way, either consciously of subconsciously. Benignly or maliciously. I hate them.

Posted: 11/14/12 at 3:28pm

And you did the RIGHT thing Growl- for his comments you denied him the pleasure of your company. They are young. They will learn.

[SonofRobbieJ]

Posted: 11/14/12 at 3:31pm

I tend to like guys who are on the hairier, stockier side (I myself am a bit stocky), so people think I'm a bear...or I'm into bears. But...I mean...I do musicals. So I don't really subscribe to that (or any) subculture. Though I do think it can be an empowering experience for some people, for me it seems reductive.

And the masculine thing always, ALWAYS kills me. How do we get to a point where we disparage each other based on the same sexual and gender norms that we've been fighting against our whole lives? It makes no sense.

[Phyllis Rogers Stone]

Posted: 11/14/12 at 3:33pm

Misogyny, which feeds homophobia, is stronger than unity, I guess.