Jackson Murphy: 13 Year Old Film Critic

[Jordan Catalano]

Posted: 7/9/11 at 10:32pm

http://www.ebertpresents.com/episodes/episode-125/videos/230


It's wrong to want to hurt a child.




Right?

[mominator]

Posted: 7/9/11 at 11:00pm

To be honest here, when I want a 13 year old's opinion I'll give it to them.

[SNAFU]

Posted: 7/9/11 at 11:08pm

Why do I want to plant my foot in his as*?

[Jordan Catalano]

Posted: 7/9/11 at 11:09pm

LOL, Mom. I usually quote Elvira - "When I want your opinion, I'll beat it out of you"

[strummergirl]

Posted: 7/10/11 at 1:58am

He's from my area and I ultimately feel some level responsibility/guilt over this kid's inexplicable fame, exposure, accolades (you read that right, he has a local Emmy), etc. All I can say is his father worked as an sports anchor/radio host for years in the area but he lost his job as his local station phased out its sports division and his radio show flopped. But he still had connections (and on his part he may still have that job doing "pre-game" for the local station affiliate that does one or two Yankee games a week) and has essentially used it to get his son a dream job. It is like Upstate NY's version of Jeffrey and Ben Lyons.

I still don't get what YNN (the station who has given this kid a platform) is doing here making him the go-to critic and not just a 'kid critic for kid movies'. He cannot see R movies (and I doubt his very super-religious parents would take him to one) and he is barely old enough to appreciate a lot of PG-13 films, like teen, coming-of-age films or just adult-minded movies. I can understand having a kid critic but it is an absolute insult to my area that once upon a time had some very respectable film critics to have to claim this kid as theirs, no matter how 'cute' Roger Ebert thinks this kid is (He also thought Benji and Cop and a Half were cute once). The only thing he seems to like are animated films and Christan movies./rant over

Updated On: 7/10/11 at 01:58 AM

[strummergirl]

Posted: 7/10/11 at 2:34am

I have avoided that kid like the plague for so long I missed the part where his voice broke. Now I feel stabby. He reminds me too much of Middle School/Junior High members of the student council. So precocious.... my goodness.

So now his voice sounds like his Sarah Palin impression without a helium effect:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KMozRIlZkoY&feature=related

This is when his voice did not break (trying so hard not to pass judgment on his choices):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UpUovUNtEIU

Here's Howard Stern's take on the kid to cleanse the palate:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=08i-cq0cSEk

Do not get me started on his reviews (the Stern clip features his infamous take on Inception).

EDIT: His Top Ten List from last year is also pretty infamous. I don't think you could put Armond White on multiple chemical substances make him drop 2010 releases from the top of his head, place the names of said films on a dart board, blindfolded him, and had his choices be everything he hits with darts be worse than this list.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xD-MkawLQyY&feature=related

Let me also just say, I think when we were all 13 we had very different tastes in movies than we do now. This kid is going to hate himself if he looks back at these reviews. And pardon me but this kid is nuts to think 2010 was the best year for animation in a long time (I thought being that declarative was a no-no in Ebert's treatise to young film critics). A brief rundown of a book on the history of feature-length animation or any film history book would help him a lot in the long run.
Updated On: 7/10/11 at 02:34 AM

[Jordan Catalano]

Posted: 7/10/11 at 8:41am

I can't believe I'd never heard of this kid before the other day!

Here's the thing. Growing up, I was a huge film buff. My parents never put a restriction on what I could watch. I remember my Mother telling me when I was a kid that the only thing I couldn't watch is porn. (I guess I'm rebelling now) I was 6 when NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET came out in 1984 and begged to see it which I was allowed to do and that was the day my love of horror began. In 1988 when I was 10, I told the 3rd grade class that Jodie Foster would hands down win the Oscar for THE ACCUSED. There's even a 30 minute video of me that year in my local video store (R.I.P.) giving movie reviews. Off the top of my head I "reviewed" the following films

Back to the Future
The Accused
Peggy Sue Got Married (Still one of my favorite films of all time and one of the most under rated)
Clue
The Goonies
Taxi Driver
Nightmare on Elm Street (1-3. And even at the age of 10 I knew part 2 had nothing to do with the series whatsoever)
Ruthless People
The Breakfast Club


I grew up in this video store and others. My father was friends with the owner and I would be lucky enough to rent whatever I wanted for free and I watched everything. I still do. But watching that video of me, I can say it was really a cute thing. Not annoying and pretentious and there's nothing on it that would really make anyone want to punch my in the face after 10 seconds of listening to me. But there was also nobody feeding me the information I was saying unlike what I believe is going on with this Jackson kid. Watching me talk about movies and watching him it's obvious that one of us is a real film lover and the other is just a little douche bag with a rich mommy and daddy who want their little angel to be famous.

[AC126748]

Posted: 7/10/11 at 9:00am

Anyone have Casey Anthony's number?

[Jay Lerner-Z]

Posted: 7/10/11 at 9:05am

This kid has really got the annoying phony TV personality persona down - he seems quite professional in that sense, in fact he's probably less stilted than some on national TV - but yes, quite annoying. Who exactly is he supposed to appeal to?

Ha Jordan, a ten year old watching The Accused...!

[Jordan Catalano]

Posted: 7/10/11 at 9:08am

Yep. And now 23 years later I can still say she deserved that Oscar. :)

[Kad]

Posted: 7/10/11 at 11:49am

The local paper from the area in which I grew up had a tween critic. God, I loathed his reviews.

[FosseBoi]

Posted: 7/10/11 at 2:49pm

This kid has an Emmy...I'm speechless but I couldn't agree more with what Howard Stern said in strummergirl's link.

[JohnBoy2]

Posted: 7/10/11 at 2:53pm

He's completely annoying, which is fairly typical of most movie critics. But he is either being scripted by an adult, or is Asperger's. There is nothing real about anything that comes out of his mouth. He says nothing that a typical kid would express. Who is his target audience?

[ahhrealmonsters]

Posted: 7/10/11 at 9:41pm

JohnBoy- I agree that he seems to be on the spectrum, probably Asperger's.

Really really annoying. Some kids could do that and be cute, but there's nothing charming about him.

[Jordan Catalano]

Posted: 7/10/11 at 10:23pm

They should show his videos to pedophiles to cure them.

[best12bars]

Posted: 7/11/11 at 6:31am

He's a total puppet. It's not cute or interesting or genuine. Just weird. I've never heard of this "kid," and that doesn't surprise me. I can't imagine anybody listening to him for more than five seconds. That's how long it takes to get the gimmick and to see right through it.

[broadwayjim42]

Posted: 7/11/11 at 8:03am

There may be well an "on" Jackson and a regular kid somewhere in there as well. I saw him at a local Target a while back with his mom and he was as mellow and normal as can be.

I do agree, though, that whoever coached him into becoming this perky, precocious and throughly annoying little media brat should be taken behind the barn.

[dramamama611]

Posted: 7/11/11 at 10:53am

If the kid even remotely SOUNDED like a 13 year old, he might actually be interesting...at least TO that age bracket...lets face it, they don't have the same taste in movies that adults do. But in this "package", kids will not like him, nor will adults.

But there is NO way, those are that kids words or thoughts. (I don't actually disagree with him on some of the points made...but they unlikely his.)

[Jordan Catalano]

Posted: 7/11/11 at 11:25am

It's his accent an his inflections that make my skin crawl more than anything else. It really seems like he went on YouTube and watched tv movie reviewers from the 80s and is copying their over the top style to make him seem more like a big boy. I would very much like to see him sent to a Lord of the Flies type reality show and watch him try to survive.
Now THAT'S entertainment!

[best12bars]

Posted: 7/11/11 at 12:09pm

I think the most disturbing aspect of this is the misguided and seriously warped adults from the Television Academy who decided to vote this kid an Emmy Award.

I would HATE to see their own children, if this constitutes award-worthy achievement from a child.

Updated On: 7/11/11 at 12:09 PM

[Jay Lerner-Z]

Posted: 7/12/11 at 11:22am

Here's a 16 year old critic I actually do like. (Though I imagine not everyone will!)


Review of Midnight In Paris

Updated On: 7/12/11 at 11:22 AM

[Jordan Catalano]

Posted: 7/23/11 at 10:42am

Jackson's "Best of the year so far" list is up!

http://www.ebertpresents.com/episodes/episode-201/videos/249

[SNAFU]

Posted: 7/23/11 at 10:51am

God, I want to hot him with a sledge hammer!

[SNAFU]

Posted: 7/23/11 at 10:51am

God, I want to hot him with a sledge hammer!

[strummergirl]

Posted: 7/23/11 at 12:31pm

I love how he has consistently made his top pick for best film very reasonable (Midnight in Paris for first-half and Toy Story 3 last year) while down his list gets more and more questionable. I was waiting for Kung Fu Panda 2 at the top but oh that Jackson chose a Woody Allen film.

Oh Roger Ebert, this is your biggest mistake since your review of Blue Velvet.