Masturbation Is Murder!!

[Jordan Catalano]

Posted: 2/9/12 at 2:20pm

I Kind of love This Woman

[StockardFan]

Posted: 2/9/12 at 2:23pm

Oh fer crap's sake.

[tazber]

Posted: 2/9/12 at 2:27pm

But what about all the spermatozoa that don't make it to fertilization?

For every life created there are thousands that are taken.

Why am I even trying to be logical about this? Lol.

[madbrian]

Posted: 2/9/12 at 2:30pm

I hope this story has a happy ending.

[chickfila]

Posted: 2/9/12 at 2:31pm

Every sperm is sacred.

[Jordan Catalano]

Posted: 2/9/12 at 2:31pm

Taz, the only logic she's thnkin of is pointing out how absurd the whole personhood thing is. She's a smart cookie.

[uncageg]

Posted: 2/9/12 at 2:35pm

...then give me the electric chair for all my future crimes because I'm guilty! :)

[Reginald Tresilian]

Posted: 2/9/12 at 2:35pm

Saw this yesterday. Love it and her. (And masturbation.)

[Jordan Catalano]

Posted: 2/9/12 at 2:36pm

Will Sean Cody be tried for Accessory To Murder?

[Jay Lerner-Z]

Posted: 2/9/12 at 2:37pm

Reginald and uncageg, you should be sent to The Hague to face genocide charges.

[SNAFU]

Posted: 2/9/12 at 2:41pm

"But what about all the spermatozoa that don't make it to fertilization?"

Collateral Damage

[madbrian]

Posted: 2/9/12 at 2:42pm

All kidding aside, let's remember that this insidious initiative is being promoted by a group that defines itself as the party of small government and personal liberty.

[Reginald Tresilian]

Posted: 2/9/12 at 2:44pm

Whenever I hear anyone going on about small government and personal liberty, I lock my doors and close my curtains.

[Jordan Catalano]

Posted: 2/9/12 at 2:49pm

...and beat off.

[Unknown User]

Posted: 2/9/12 at 2:49pm

I am hoping the Republicans make anti-masturbation legislation a plank in their platform this fall.

[Jordan Catalano]

Posted: 2/9/12 at 2:56pm

Better pray to Jeebus you don't have a wet dream.

[Mister Matt]

Posted: 2/9/12 at 2:57pm

Didn't Elle address this in Legally Blonde?

[Jordan Catalano]

Posted: 2/9/12 at 3:05pm

She was ahead of her time.

[madbrian]

Posted: 2/9/12 at 3:10pm

I believe a wet dream would have to be considered involuntary manslaughter.

[Reginald Tresilian]

Posted: 2/9/12 at 3:13pm

Or involuntary man's laughter.

[Jordan Catalano]

Posted: 2/9/12 at 3:16pm

But in all seriousness, what about women who let their eggs just get thrown away once a month without doing everything they can to fertilize them?

[JerseyGirl2]

Posted: 2/9/12 at 3:33pm

Elle didn't call it murder. She called it reckless abandonment.

[henrikegerman]

Posted: 2/9/12 at 3:51pm

I am so glad what would have been all my millions of children are not alive to watch how today's fundamentalist elect are embarrassing themselves with the unbelievable bull**** that is now daily coming out of their holier than Thou mouths.

[Tom1071]

Posted: 2/9/12 at 4:08pm

Jordan...where do you find this sh!+? Hysterical!

Updated On: 2/9/12 at 04:08 PM

[tazber]

Posted: 2/9/12 at 4:13pm

But what if... now follow me here... you ejaculate into a test tube and cultivate the spermatozoa. You know, like Sea Monkeys.

Surely that's not murder. Especially if they vote republican.

Updated On: 2/9/12 at 04:13 PM