Nectar of the Gods!- Page 5

[papalovesmambo]

Posted: 3/6/06 at 5:29pm

y'know, plum, you could be a god...wink wink, nudge nudge

[Jane2]

Posted: 3/6/06 at 5:34pm

papa, you're the king of all flirts on this board! Don't ever change, and I mean that.

[Plum]

Posted: 3/6/06 at 5:34pm

Geez, you must get really bored when I leave for a couple of days.

[Jane2]

Posted: 3/6/06 at 5:38pm

Nah, he's playing with the rest of us!

[papalovesmambo]

Posted: 3/6/06 at 5:41pm

don't listen to her, plum, it's all you, baby, it always has been.

and don't worry, jane, i only know how to be me.

[Mamie]

Posted: 3/6/06 at 5:44pm

It's interesting watching how the subject of this thread has evolved over the last 4 pages. It started (if I understand it correctly) as DG expressing his distaste for the venom that certain posters have aimed toward other posters. The fact that they decided to do this and continue to do this and are ALLOWED to do this has all been mentioned. Somehow that has turned into a discussion of 'cliques' and the pros and cons of same.

This is interesting to me because the posts that DG referred to have always reminded me of grade or high school behavior. Totally immature, stupid, and painful with absolutely no redeeming value whatsoever. The ones doing the posting probably also take joy out of tearing off the wings of butterflies.... but that's another subject.

The current topic - 'cliques'- is another word that once again takes me back to the worst of school. Immature kids ganging together and isolating other kids from their group.

I think it's normal and fine for groups to get together on this board and do most of their postings on the threads that appeal most to them. I've never seen a case where a new poster came into ANY of those threads and posted a message that was attacked or blasted in any way. If that same new poster would continue to frequent that thread and keep on posting, they would soon become 'known' to the others there and be made to feel just as at home there. So I really don't think that's a problem here.

The whole problem - at least the problem that I can see - concerns a very small handful of posters who get enjoyment out of tormenting others. Maybe if we all pray for them, they'll grow up some day.

[Unknown User]

Posted: 3/6/06 at 5:47pm

It seems that a lot people are telling us to grow up. What's so good about growing up? I won't grow up. I don't wanna grow up.

Not me,
Not I,
Not me!
So there!
Updated On: 3/6/06 at 05:47 PM

[Plum]

Posted: 3/6/06 at 5:48pm

I'm a Toys R' Us kid.

[papalovesmambo]

Posted: 3/6/06 at 5:50pm

easy on the kid motif, unless you want the secret service checking that out. now can you people please just talk amongst y'selves, i am trying to clique with plum. sheesh. what are all you people doing in my shower anyway?

[shameless]

Posted: 3/6/06 at 6:00pm

I'm still waiting to find out what clique I'm in the center of. Hell, I'll spend a lot more time there.



But, I have a feeling it's a very small clique. Can one person be a clique?

[Jane2]

Posted: 3/6/06 at 6:02pm

"'ve never seen a case where a new poster came into ANY of those threads and posted a message that was attacked or blasted in any way."

No, there are other things that occur to turn people off, and that's being ignored when you make a post on a thread which interests you. Being ignored is worse than evoking a response, be it postive or negative.

[papalovesmambo]

Posted: 3/6/06 at 6:03pm

like i was saying, this is about me and plum, ya'll could at least look away...

[ohhoney_]

Posted: 3/6/06 at 6:04pm

oh mamie.

[shameless]

Posted: 3/6/06 at 6:06pm

Being ignored does suck, but it happens to everyone. Sometimes people don't know what to say to a post, and sometimes the conversation is moving fast and in a different direction.

[miss pennywise]

Posted: 3/6/06 at 6:30pm

I don't think DG or others really mind the "clique" aspect of group dynamics. We all gravitate toward one, two or a group of people; it's only natural. "Cliques" only become dangerous when they evolve into "bullies."

I think this is the concern. In studying the issue of bullying, I have learned there are 3 "circles." At the center are the people who DO the bullying. The circle around the center comprises people who don't exactly "do" the bullying but who encourage or "cheer" it on. Then there is the outermost circle: those who see it, know it exists but choose to do NOTHING about it. ALL of these groups contribute to the bullying "whole."

DG decided to take a stand against bullying. He chose to reject bullying by trying to talk about the topic rather than perpetuate it, even by his silence.

As a person who deals with this psychology on a daily basis, I know the value of distancing yourself from violent behavior and trying to bring peace to the world.

In all sincerity, I applaud and thank DG. He expresses opinions intelligently and pointedly without intention of hurting anyone. He can also be witty and sarcastic, but there is a humanity about his posts which underlie even the slightest hint of a biting remark.

Many BWW posters do the same. I have even received PMs from people apologizing for things they have said in response to one of my posts--even though I didn't think for a second they were being mean--because they actually care about other people's feelings. My question is, "What is so wrong about that?"

[Jane2]

Posted: 3/6/06 at 6:37pm

Miss P, there is absolutely nothing wrong with it, and I admire DG also. I admire him as a person, as far as I know him, which isn't very well, yet!

The other point, though, is as well meaning as some people are, I don't think they or anyone can change human behavior. It's always going to be the same because we are not perfect!

[Unknown User]

Posted: 3/6/06 at 6:39pm

miss p, don't you have two kids to raise?

[shameless]

Posted: 3/6/06 at 6:39pm

Jane - You're right, we're not perfect, but we are better than a lot of the stuff that we tolerate around here.

[amasis]

Posted: 3/6/06 at 6:45pm

The thread seem to have taken a different turn. I didn't think that the 'clique' was the main complaint, actually. I thought DG's post was more about the negativity that some people feel the need to spout all the time. The bullying, as miss pennywise said above.
Updated On: 3/6/06 at 06:45 PM

[miss pennywise]

Posted: 3/6/06 at 6:48pm

Chita, sorry, I don't understand your comment.

Please, everybody, I am not "preaching" here. I am no better than anyone else. We all hurt others, whether intentional or not. We all say things without thinking. We all "bully" now and then.

But we can try to be more more mindful. It's a choice, of course...and a commitment. And it takes a lot of practice.

I work at it all the time, and I am not always successful. I'm as imperfect as everyone else (even more so in many cases!)

Sorry if anyone thinks I'm criticizing. My work is centered on violence prevention. I'm just sharing what I know, that's all.

[Luscious]

Posted: 3/6/06 at 6:49pm

I like to think of myself as a God in waiting.

[shameless]

Posted: 3/6/06 at 6:50pm

Miss Pennywise - It was a great post.

Amasis - It did get off topic, but if I said what I really wanted to say about the bullies and the punks who follow them, I would just be contributing to the nastiness. Oops, my bad. Well, at least I didn't name names.

Updated On: 3/6/06 at 06:50 PM

[Kringas]

Posted: 3/6/06 at 6:52pm

I thought DG's post was more about the negativity that some people feel the need to spout all the time

And apparently to remind us that he wishes he knew who Namo was.

[Unknown User]

Posted: 3/6/06 at 6:54pm

Miss P, I was just being a smart a**. I was half way through your last post and I thought "...what are those kids up to?" It was a joke. A funny one. (and just between us, I think you did understand it was a joke)

edit: and on this subject DG has brought up, don't most of us know that how we react and behave says everything about us. How can I really attack anyone on this board if I don't know them?
Updated On: 3/6/06 at 06:54 PM

[Jane2]

Posted: 3/6/06 at 6:58pm

Shameless-I'll try to articulate something, but I'm not very good at it! Part of the reason we won't change the behavior around here is the internet. We have no idea whom we're dealing with much of the time. Personally, I feel the internet is a dream come true for some mental types. They can spew venom, anger, confusion, or anything their hearts desire with anonymity. So no matter how hard we 'sane' folks try to be civilized towards each other, there will always be those types who can't or won't help themselves.

Updated On: 3/6/06 at 06:58 PM