Owner Of A Gay Bar Bans Bridal Showers- Page 2

[Gaveston2]

Posted: 5/29/12 at 7:27pm

Or where they have no chance of being skeeved on by straight guys. I think that's a big part of the appeal.

That makes sense. Thanks, Eric, and just when I was totally baffled as to why straight girls were having bachelorette parties at gay bars.

[TheatreDiva90016]

Posted: 5/29/12 at 7:34pm

They come for the eye candy of the half naked dancers, knowing full well they can be as slutty as they want and not one dude is going to hit on them.

[EricMontreal22]

Posted: 5/29/12 at 7:50pm

Well shockingly we disagree. I have a twin sister and when her friends want to come to a gay bar it's for a very different reason than being slutty.

[TheatreDiva90016]

Posted: 5/29/12 at 7:55pm

Slutty, obnoxious, irritating... Whatever you want to call it. Straight girls shouldnt be having bridal parties in gay bars.

[Gaveston2]

Posted: 5/29/12 at 8:05pm

So I'm assuming a straight-girl bachelorette party at a gay bar with male go-go dancers is the distaff equivalent of straight men (or lesbians) throwing a bachelor party at a strip club. (Only, I suppose, without the lap dances in the "Champagne Room".)

FWIW, Eric and TDiva, I don't think the two of you are actually disagreeing, with the possible exception of the use of the word "slutty". The point in both your posts is that the girls want a night out away from the interference of straight men.

[TheatreDiva90016]

Posted: 5/29/12 at 8:17pm

I base my posts on the many, many years I worked in gay bars.

Bridal parties were always filled with the loudest, most obnoxious women, who felt that they could poke and prod the guys, because, hey, they are gay. Then there were those women who just never got it, that we WERE gay, and some drunk chick wasnt going to change us, no matter how much she begged.

It got pretty pathetic.

Besides, could you imagine what group of gay men were going to encounter by going into a straight strip club and proceed to get loud, drunk and handsy? It wouldnt be pretty.

[artscallion]

Posted: 5/29/12 at 8:18pm

I think these girls, whatever their reason for choosing a gay bar, just aren't thinking about what they're doing. I thinks it's good to point out to them that jumping around chanting yay marriage in a room full of people who aren't allowed marriage is rude. I think once it's pointed out to them, they'll smack their own forehead, apologize, say they didn't realize and move on. Of course, I'm an optimist...of sorts.

[Gaveston2]

Posted: 5/29/12 at 8:21pm

I understand, TDiva. Like I said, I was surprised that such a thing was allowed in the first place.

No, I don't mean women in gay clubs. I wouldn't go to a club that excluded women. But I didn't realize it had become trendy to throw straight bachelorette parties in gay clubs.

(In case you're wondering, no, I don't get out much. I haven't been single in a long time, so except for our neighborhood bar--walking distance; no need to drive home drunk--when we lived in Venice, my bar-hopping days ended long ago.)

Updated On: 5/29/12 at 08:21 PM

[TheatreDiva90016]

Posted: 5/29/12 at 8:23pm

Yea, it's kind of been a really popular thing for straight girls to do for the last 15 years or so.

[EricMontreal22]

Posted: 5/29/12 at 8:29pm

I don't find the idea of straight girls at a gay bar for a bridal shower that insulting-- It's too easy to say that women go to gay bars and behave obnoxiously, even if you have worked at one for so long. But you're right, it had been something that seems to be common--I still don't get the objection.

[TheatreDiva90016]

Posted: 5/29/12 at 8:38pm

You don't get it?

It's like being at a party with your friends, everyone is having a great time, and then having some folks you don't know come in and throw sand in your face.

It's insulting. They have their own places to go. Why do they have to come to our place and piss on our carpet?

[EricMontreal22]

Posted: 5/29/12 at 8:49pm

I think we just have to disagree. I don't think it's insulting for straight women to go to a gay bar for a hen party whatsoever--if they behaved in some way insulting to the gay guys there, then yes, of course it would be. I do think the stance The Abbey has made is valid, and fair.

[theaternut]

Posted: 5/29/12 at 8:53pm

I am not into excluding women. But I personally don't go to gay bars to be with them or see them. And I do find the groups a little irritating. I also don't like dealing with the F-g hags... because I want to help them. I want to shake them and tell them to loose 60 pounds and go get a man some other place. Seriously . In the 80's I had 3 F-g hags in my life and they are all miserable lonely women now .

Sorry. Now I will read the article.



Updated On: 5/29/12 at 08:53 PM

[TheatreDiva90016]

Posted: 5/29/12 at 9:01pm

Eric,

Unless you have actually experienced it, I guess you couldn't really understand how it's like having salt rubbed in a wound.


TheatreNut,

That made me laugh... How sad and true.

[DAME]

Posted: 5/29/12 at 9:18pm

Maybe the Abbey is trying to get some of us gay males to return?

[EricMontreal22]

Posted: 5/29/12 at 9:19pm

I guess it is good that I haven't experienced it--I just don't think it's a huge problem-but you are completely right, it's not something I've experienced. I do prefer that gay bars be inclusive--but obnoxious bachelerotte parties would bug me at any venue.

[AEA AGMA SM]

Posted: 5/29/12 at 9:21pm

Ever notice how many of these women speak of gay men like they are some sort of object?

"Oh my god, I just LOVE the gays!"

"My gays are the BEST!"

I'm just tired of, by virtue of being gay, being the "trendy new accessory" that so many of these straight girls try to make us out to be.

And I will also say the justification of the slutty behavior is obnoxious. I can't tell you how many of these girls you see trying to get guys at gay bars to play with their breasts.

"It's ok for you to touch them! You're gay, so it doesn't count!"

[TheatreDiva90016]

Posted: 5/29/12 at 9:25pm

THANK YOU!^^^

Dame, when I first saw it was the Abbey, I thought this might have just been some publicity thing.

[DAME]

Posted: 5/29/12 at 9:27pm

It probably is.

[NYadgal]

Posted: 5/29/12 at 9:29pm

Jeez, what a bunch of ugly words and stereotypes in this thread...

[DAME]

Posted: 5/29/12 at 9:33pm

Oh Addy. No harm meant.

[TheatreDiva90016]

Posted: 5/29/12 at 9:36pm

Never aimed at you, AdGal.

[NYadgal]

Posted: 5/29/12 at 9:38pm

I know, Dame. You would never mean harm.

Just disappointing that a point can't be debated without sinking to ugly phrases, bad stereotypes and such negativity.

For the record, I applaud the sentiment behind this, if the sentiment is real. Until there is equality for all, places that cater to the gay population should be trying to make a statement and take a stand.

I can't and don't support discrimination of any kind.

[DAME]

Posted: 5/29/12 at 9:44pm

I don't either.

[AEA AGMA SM]

Posted: 5/29/12 at 9:48pm

To clarify, I have many straight female friends, and that is the point there. They are friends. We treat each other like people. They don't ask me to fondle their boobs, they don't view going out with me to a gay bar (not that I go very often anymore anyway) as some sort of novel experience just for kicks. I'm just tired of the women who think all gay men should be the fabulous gay men they saw on Sex and the City and other such shows, which is often the attitude of many of those attending these bachelorette parties.