Ok Popular, I'll be a little foggy on details, but it basically went down like this:
Teams discover they have to fly to D-blahblah, Croatia, so they head out for the airport in the early morning. The Goths and the Hippies decided to squeeze out some brain cells and did an internet search at the airport. The Hippies hung out waiting for the Czech Air to open and started a queue for other teams. The Goths did some more internet research.
Meanwhile, Team Who's Your Daddy took the whole thinking thing one step further and decided to stop at hotel and actually reserve tickets by phone. The nerve! They queued up with the other arriving teams to see if there might be something better, but remained at ease in the fact they they have something, at least. Interstingly enough, Who's Your Daddy decides to tip off Team Hendk Azaria about their flight and Hendk Azaria give up their place in line to runn off and...make a phone call? Which never connects. They bicker and bitch and attitude is thrown and they moodily return to Czech Air last in line.
The Goths are like, "These bitches don't wait
in line!" and head over to the ALREADY OPEN travel agency and start booking their flight. The other teams look on jealously all "Just who do they think they are?!?!" and start queuing up for the travel agency and barging into the middle of the transaction and being generally pissy and annoying. Christina's dad acts like a d!ck and she apologizes for his behavior...AGAIN. She then tells him to stop acting like a d!ck and he calms down a smidge.
Teams Grandpa and Fighting Couple are vying for seats, but alas, the clock has run out and as soon as Fighting Couple gets to the counter, the flight is closed. Whining ensues. They run to the travel agency and barely get tickets. At this point, there are two flights leaving about 30 minutes apart and arriving at the same time.
But what's this? Team Hendk Azaria, set to board the
second flight realizes they were booked in business class.
Sing with me: AAAAHHHHH.......FREAK OUT! LE FREAK! SO CHIC!
Fortunately, they get on a third flight that gets into the connecting city in time to hop on one of the other flights. Or something. Bottom line: the first flight carrying grandpa and the Hippies delays, which causes them to miss their connection and book on other separate flights arriving around the time of Hendk Azaria. The Goths, Fighting Couple and Who's Your Daddy arrive hours ahead of the other teams. It was one of the most complicated flight plans in Amazing Race history. I swear 14 planes were involved over a 4-day period. It was nuts.
Roadblock: Find one of 8 stones in a pile of 150 that fits into the ancient wall. One of those challenges that is mostly luck. The stones are a little heavy, but Who's Your Daddy arrives first and finishes on like the second stone. The Goths and Fighting Couple get completely lost running around looking for the clue box while Who's Your Daddy basically finds it and finishes it and it's on to the Zip Line!
Yay! What is a season of Amazing race without a Zip Line? This time, they are strapped on together hanging stomach-down just like that awful "flying" thing at amusement parks where they charge you $20 to possibly be hurled to your death. Daddy's afraid of hurling in general.
Detour: This first involves rappelling (another Amazing Race fave), then climbing a rope ladder, then running through the labyrinth of market streets to the clue box. The second is yet another Zip Line (two in one leg!) into the sea, rowing a boat for what appears to be
miles in choppy waters (double that if your teammate is a bitch) and a short little path to the clue box (like, you could skip to it). The key being the second part of the task. Meaning, how likely are we to get hopelessly lost and refuse to ask directions, or if we do, the likelihood of our direction comprehension.
Personally, I'm great with navigating streets and alleys and such. And usually, you can find a few little shops with little street maps that would take maybe 2 minutes to purchase one. Considering the long path to the box was in the middle of D-blahblah shopping central, I would have gone that route. I would have done anything that did not involve rowing, basically, but to me, this was a no-brainer.
Nonetheless, Who's Your Daddy's Daddy gets all pissy about the technique involved, but upon discovering he's actually in the right, rows that sucker like a freakin' Yale scholar, basically leaving the other teams in the dust. Fighting Couple, in a tribute to Colon and Chrusty, basically do more yelling than whatever sort of awkwardness they call "rowing" and kind of drift and float around aimlessly much like the "Sistahs" did in Thailand (or some such place). The Goths Gothicly rappell and climb and run Gothicly through Goth city.
And just as Who's Your Daddy looks to have it all in the bag, they fumble around for the clue box, giving Fighting Couple some wiggle room and they beat WYD to the final clue box. But wait! In the season's most hilarious scene of Schadenfreude, the cab driver won't let FC in the cab because of their wet clothes! Instead, he practically rolls out the red carpet for WYD and they gleefully hop in and (in my mind) sing happy songs all the way to the mat.
At this point, Jen begins her nuclear meltdown. She whines at ear-shattering decibels and Nate keeps telling her to basically shut the f*ck up, which only makes things better. And by better, I mean
much worse. Seeing as they can't seem to locate another taxi (unlike every other team), they make the genius move of stopping some random person driving by and whining their way into a stranger's vehicle, making them drive them to the top of a hill. You know what's coming, right? They arrive at the mat and Phil tells them, to their amazing race amazement, that they are team number 2! Well, they would have been had they not been yelling at each other during the Amazing Orientation that
explained the rules of the game. So, they hop in a taxi (found one now, did you?) and go back to the clue box to do the last bit again.
Mount Krak-a-Jen-a EXPLODES and covers the unsuspecting Croatian town with bitchy skank-ash. Mothers grab their children. People flee. Those who are not killed in the stampede die slowly in the flowing lava that is the spittle spewing forth from her blubbering pie hole. An entire civilization is lost, forever entombed in the rubble and destruction caused by an American couple who hate each other more than they actually want to win a million dollars. Nate handles the situation far better than I would have.
Meanwhile, the Goths arrive and become team number 2. They act gleefully Gothy and hop around in a Gothic manner or something of the sort.
Fighting Couple get back and are team number 3. Nobody cares. Jens snots about how she doesn't know if they will be together after this race. I bet Nate knows.
And then the other teams arrive. By this time, the editors are exhausted from the highly eventful first half and we zip through the rest. Basically, the Hippies sort of showed up and did zipped (line) through the tasks to place fourth. Grandpa slowed down a little, but it was Hendk Azaria that just couldn't get through the rocks (apparently, there were fewer correct rocks left to find, which automatically puts the bottom teams at a disadvantage) and Hendk Azaria arrives last. And much like the show Huff, they are canceled far too soon.
From being the front-runners of the season to Philiminated in one leg. That's why I love this show.
"What can you expect from a bunch of seitan worshippers?" - Reginald Tresilian
Updated On: 12/10/07 at 05:22 PM
