THE AMAZING RACE 12 ! *** SPOILERS***- Page 4

[Mister Matt]

Posted: 11/20/07 at 11:00am

I think it would be hard to find a pic of Lorena by herself, Dottie...but skank away!
Oh, Ye of Little Faith...

[uncageg]

Posted: 11/26/07 at 1:35am

I kinda wanted the blondes to lose tonight, but looks like they are going to be at each other's throats next week. And was that them in the path of the oncoming bus?

[CyCoSpAz2]

Posted: 11/26/07 at 1:45am

Can't believe they used the U Turn... but then again, I can. I don't think they will be around once the second one comes around, but they are still in it, which is longer than I had originally given them credit for.

[uncageg]

Posted: 11/26/07 at 2:07am

I don't believe they used it either. They were far enought ahead. I think Ronald and Christina are going to have to drop out because of his hernia. Or that fall he takes next week is going to put them in last place. If it does, I bet next week will be the week that the last place team doesn't get eliminated.

[Wilhelmina]

Posted: 12/7/07 at 5:19pm

Glad the blondes are gone! Especially after the u-turn bit. They better re-evaluate the friendship, cause they seem to make each other miserable. Now - if we can get rid of Nate and Jen (I like Nate - can't stand the fighting between them) I can watch the rest of the race in peace. Oh! And why OH WHY can't Ronald tell Christina he loves her JUST ONCE? She seems like a total doll, and he is such a poo head to her.

Okay - I feel better now.
Updated On: 12/7/07 at 05:19 PM

[Mister Matt]

Posted: 12/7/07 at 6:36pm

Ok, let's get this straight:

I don't know why there are always those teams who believe there is something immoral in using a U-Turn/Yield. It is a tool of the game. It's part of the rules. Everyone has the option of using it or not, which means using doesn't mean you are playing "dirty" or "unfair". If used wisely, it just means you're SMART. Granted, the blondes probably didn't need to use it, but they were falling behind and felt their position in the final leg might be compromised by a strong team and it appeared they had no idea how far behind the last team was, so they used a tool of the game (and one that is only offered intermittently, I might add). It's not like they stole someone's cab or lied or pushed or shoved or tried to physically block someone's path. Everybody has the choice to use it and doing so in no way makes your gameplay any less respectable. Nor does declining to use it make you a better person in the world. People need to get over that sh*t.

That said, I'm glad they're gone. What a miserable pair of snooty bitchfaces. I was rooting for the bus.

Nate and Jen are sort of fun to watch self-destruct, but I wouldn't cry if they got eliminated. We don't want another Colon and Crusty situation. I'm still bitter about that.

I love Ron's "Who's Your Daddy?" shirt. Given their situation, I assume he wears it for literal identification purposes.

Ron: "Who's Your Daddy?"
Christina: "You are! I love you! You're my Daddy! I love you so much!"
Ron: "Oh yeah...that's right."
Christina: "I love you!"
Ron: "Quit it. You're saying it wrong anyway."

So how many people here thought walking on stilts for the first time a quarter of a mile down a dirt road would be easier and take less time than accurately counting pickets in a fence?

Me neither.

And shame on Christina for making her father do that with his hernia. Over and over and over again. I got a hernia just watching him.

But I totally want to visit that place! I'm putting it on my travel to-do list. It looks so pretty and quaint and I want to do that midsummer festival thing. I think it might be the one situation where I would fit in and Europeans would find me slightly less annoying. I mean, if the Goths could do it...and boy, did we get to hear them squeal in delight over the perfect Gothy Gothicness of the Goth-fest! Ugh. SHUT UP! WE GET IT!

I still don't understand their relationship. Are they both bi? Is that it? What? don't tell me you're weren't thinking the same thing.

Oh, and Jen...WHO THE HELL IS GOING TO STEP ASIDE FOR FIRST PLACE FOR YOU JUST BECAUSE YOU WHINE ABOUT IT? GOD! Like she would ever do such a thing. And if she did, she doesn't deserve to stay in the game.

Jen, for your punishment, please write the definition of the word "Competition" 500 times. Single-spaced in cursive please. When you're finished, please fold the paper as small as possible and insert them into your rectum. Be sure to remove the stick first.

Go donkeys!

[Mister Matt]

Posted: 12/10/07 at 2:44pm

Well, last night certainly was an interesting turn of events. Anyone watch? I don't want to list any spoilers for those who haven't caught up yet.

[SonofMammaMiaSam]

Posted: 12/10/07 at 2:47pm

Last night's show was how I wish every leg of the race ran -- with there being multiple flights and not everyone doing the same thing.

[Mister Matt]

Posted: 12/10/07 at 3:15pm

Last night was all over the place! I loved the gaping hole between flights that evenly divided the teams and then the whole game turned upside-down. It shows you how even the smallest of mistakes and second-guessing yourself can quickly lead to your demise. It was interesting how two teams broke two of the cardinal rules of the race simply by getting so wrapped up in what others are doing and completely losing concentration.

This season rocks! I honestly don't know who I'm rooting for at this point.

And honestly, if I saw a shrieking whiny wet bitch, I wouldn't let her in my cab, either. But how funny would it have been if the cab driver allowed Nate in the cab alone? I would have paid $19.99 to see that on PPV.

Go donkeys!

[Popular]

Posted: 12/10/07 at 3:32pm

Sadly I've missed the past 3 weeks.

Matt - this thread is titled SPOILERS... catch me up!

[mateo]

Posted: 12/10/07 at 3:37pm

I love that my Goths are still in this race.

but why were they fighting in next weeks ep!!??

I hope it was just edited to look bad. Perhaps Kynt was yelling at Vyx for heading in the wrong direction or something.

[The Boy From Ohio]

Posted: 12/10/07 at 3:43pm

I was hoping that the grandson/grandfather team would be out. I thought the bro/sis team would go far. I'm liking the goths and the hippies. Very glad the blondes are history...

[gymdudeva]

Posted: 12/10/07 at 3:51pm

I hate when they all bunch up at the airport and end up on the same flight or two, or when they have to all wait for something to open. So last night started like that, but it got good when they all went all over the place and it felt like a real RACE!

Wow, Nate and Jen = true love. Heh. Kinda fun to watch them melt down and tear each other apart.

And honestly, if I saw a shrieking whiny wet bitch, I wouldn't let her in my cab, either. But how funny would it have been if the cab driver allowed Nate in the cab alone?

Hahha. I bet he would have done it, too! Actually, I would have made Nate take off his wet shirt first. :)

[Popular]

Posted: 12/10/07 at 4:05pm

wait! you mean the bro/sis team are out??

[DottieD'Luscia]

Posted: 12/10/07 at 4:10pm

Contestants should either be automatically eliminated or dropped from a cliff for whining. Whiney bitch was absolutely pathetic last night.

[gymdudeva]

Posted: 12/10/07 at 5:22pm

wait! you mean the bro/sis team are out??

Yes. They missed their plane because they inadvertently got business-class tickets and had to go back to the ticket agent. So they were on a later plane than all the others (I think). However, grandpa/grandson were really slow and it was close at the end but probably not as close as the editing made it seem.

Annoying father/daughter were first.

Jen/Nate got a ride with a local to the pit stop, which is against the rules, so they had to go back to town and get a cab hehe. But it only knocked them from 2nd- to 3rd-place finish.

[Mister Matt]

Posted: 12/10/07 at 5:22pm

Ok Popular, I'll be a little foggy on details, but it basically went down like this:

Teams discover they have to fly to D-blahblah, Croatia, so they head out for the airport in the early morning. The Goths and the Hippies decided to squeeze out some brain cells and did an internet search at the airport. The Hippies hung out waiting for the Czech Air to open and started a queue for other teams. The Goths did some more internet research.

Meanwhile, Team Who's Your Daddy took the whole thinking thing one step further and decided to stop at hotel and actually reserve tickets by phone. The nerve! They queued up with the other arriving teams to see if there might be something better, but remained at ease in the fact they they have something, at least. Interstingly enough, Who's Your Daddy decides to tip off Team Hendk Azaria about their flight and Hendk Azaria give up their place in line to runn off and...make a phone call? Which never connects. They bicker and bitch and attitude is thrown and they moodily return to Czech Air last in line.

The Goths are like, "These bitches don't wait in line!" and head over to the ALREADY OPEN travel agency and start booking their flight. The other teams look on jealously all "Just who do they think they are?!?!" and start queuing up for the travel agency and barging into the middle of the transaction and being generally pissy and annoying. Christina's dad acts like a d!ck and she apologizes for his behavior...AGAIN. She then tells him to stop acting like a d!ck and he calms down a smidge.

Teams Grandpa and Fighting Couple are vying for seats, but alas, the clock has run out and as soon as Fighting Couple gets to the counter, the flight is closed. Whining ensues. They run to the travel agency and barely get tickets. At this point, there are two flights leaving about 30 minutes apart and arriving at the same time.

But what's this? Team Hendk Azaria, set to board the second flight realizes they were booked in business class.

Sing with me: AAAAHHHHH.......FREAK OUT! LE FREAK! SO CHIC!

Fortunately, they get on a third flight that gets into the connecting city in time to hop on one of the other flights. Or something. Bottom line: the first flight carrying grandpa and the Hippies delays, which causes them to miss their connection and book on other separate flights arriving around the time of Hendk Azaria. The Goths, Fighting Couple and Who's Your Daddy arrive hours ahead of the other teams. It was one of the most complicated flight plans in Amazing Race history. I swear 14 planes were involved over a 4-day period. It was nuts.

Roadblock: Find one of 8 stones in a pile of 150 that fits into the ancient wall. One of those challenges that is mostly luck. The stones are a little heavy, but Who's Your Daddy arrives first and finishes on like the second stone. The Goths and Fighting Couple get completely lost running around looking for the clue box while Who's Your Daddy basically finds it and finishes it and it's on to the Zip Line!

Yay! What is a season of Amazing race without a Zip Line? This time, they are strapped on together hanging stomach-down just like that awful "flying" thing at amusement parks where they charge you $20 to possibly be hurled to your death. Daddy's afraid of hurling in general.

Detour: This first involves rappelling (another Amazing Race fave), then climbing a rope ladder, then running through the labyrinth of market streets to the clue box. The second is yet another Zip Line (two in one leg!) into the sea, rowing a boat for what appears to be miles in choppy waters (double that if your teammate is a bitch) and a short little path to the clue box (like, you could skip to it). The key being the second part of the task. Meaning, how likely are we to get hopelessly lost and refuse to ask directions, or if we do, the likelihood of our direction comprehension.

Personally, I'm great with navigating streets and alleys and such. And usually, you can find a few little shops with little street maps that would take maybe 2 minutes to purchase one. Considering the long path to the box was in the middle of D-blahblah shopping central, I would have gone that route. I would have done anything that did not involve rowing, basically, but to me, this was a no-brainer.

Nonetheless, Who's Your Daddy's Daddy gets all pissy about the technique involved, but upon discovering he's actually in the right, rows that sucker like a freakin' Yale scholar, basically leaving the other teams in the dust. Fighting Couple, in a tribute to Colon and Chrusty, basically do more yelling than whatever sort of awkwardness they call "rowing" and kind of drift and float around aimlessly much like the "Sistahs" did in Thailand (or some such place). The Goths Gothicly rappell and climb and run Gothicly through Goth city.

And just as Who's Your Daddy looks to have it all in the bag, they fumble around for the clue box, giving Fighting Couple some wiggle room and they beat WYD to the final clue box. But wait! In the season's most hilarious scene of Schadenfreude, the cab driver won't let FC in the cab because of their wet clothes! Instead, he practically rolls out the red carpet for WYD and they gleefully hop in and (in my mind) sing happy songs all the way to the mat.

At this point, Jen begins her nuclear meltdown. She whines at ear-shattering decibels and Nate keeps telling her to basically shut the f*ck up, which only makes things better. And by better, I mean much worse. Seeing as they can't seem to locate another taxi (unlike every other team), they make the genius move of stopping some random person driving by and whining their way into a stranger's vehicle, making them drive them to the top of a hill. You know what's coming, right? They arrive at the mat and Phil tells them, to their amazing race amazement, that they are team number 2! Well, they would have been had they not been yelling at each other during the Amazing Orientation that explained the rules of the game. So, they hop in a taxi (found one now, did you?) and go back to the clue box to do the last bit again.

Mount Krak-a-Jen-a EXPLODES and covers the unsuspecting Croatian town with bitchy skank-ash. Mothers grab their children. People flee. Those who are not killed in the stampede die slowly in the flowing lava that is the spittle spewing forth from her blubbering pie hole. An entire civilization is lost, forever entombed in the rubble and destruction caused by an American couple who hate each other more than they actually want to win a million dollars. Nate handles the situation far better than I would have.

Meanwhile, the Goths arrive and become team number 2. They act gleefully Gothy and hop around in a Gothic manner or something of the sort.

Fighting Couple get back and are team number 3. Nobody cares. Jens snots about how she doesn't know if they will be together after this race. I bet Nate knows.

And then the other teams arrive. By this time, the editors are exhausted from the highly eventful first half and we zip through the rest. Basically, the Hippies sort of showed up and did zipped (line) through the tasks to place fourth. Grandpa slowed down a little, but it was Hendk Azaria that just couldn't get through the rocks (apparently, there were fewer correct rocks left to find, which automatically puts the bottom teams at a disadvantage) and Hendk Azaria arrives last. And much like the show Huff, they are canceled far too soon.

From being the front-runners of the season to Philiminated in one leg. That's why I love this show.

Updated On: 12/10/07 at 05:22 PM

[Kalimba]

Posted: 12/10/07 at 5:52pm

MM, what a hilarious recap. How I love the way you named the contestants.
Updated On: 12/10/07 at 05:52 PM

[gymdudeva]

Posted: 12/10/07 at 5:56pm

ROTFL!! Matt, you made me spit my protein shake all over my keyboard! "D-blahblah" LOL.

[DottieD'Luscia]

Posted: 12/10/07 at 5:58pm

For the life of me, I can't remember the contestants names to begin with, so Mister Matt, you definitely have the right idea there.

[Mister Matt]

Posted: 12/10/07 at 6:00pm

Thanks Kalinda! I wonder how the race will end for Fighting Couple. I'm thinking it will probably involve statements to the police.

And is anyone else curious to know what the Goth's home looks like? Something along the lines of "Hello Kitty's Funeral" would be my guess.

I can never remember all those foreign city names, much less people-names. It's like reading a Russian novel. Who did what? Where the hell is that? Were they in the beginnning? Wait, what? WHO?

Updated On: 12/10/07 at 06:00 PM

[courtnyj]

Posted: 12/10/07 at 7:39pm

Very funny recap MisterMatt!

They were in Dubrovnik. Liza sang about it in "Ring Them Bells"

[Mister Matt]

Posted: 12/10/07 at 10:24pm

That's what I said. D-blahblah. In Croatia. Just like Liza.

[Popular]

Posted: 12/11/07 at 1:48am

Thanks, Matt! Great recap LOL

That sucks that the bro/sis are gone. Guess I'm rooting for team Daddy now.

Go Donkeys!

[Mister Matt]

Posted: 12/13/07 at 4:33pm

I almost forgot...

GO DONKEYS!!!

*hee-haw*