The Date Horror Story Thread — Page 4

#76

re: The Date Horror Story Thread

Posted: 8/15/06 at 12:10pm

"Someone who talks about sex but, never gives it up unless there's a diamond involved?"

...and isn't that the way it SHOULD be, dahlings?

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Suzanne: I never use catalogs. I'd rather go in the store and see all the salespeople groveling and sucking up to you. Julia: Pardon me, I never knew they were so solicitous at the K-Mart.

#77

re: The Date Horror Story Thread

Posted: 8/15/06 at 12:17pm

"this book could make a mint"

And hair and make-up tips could be interspersed between the stories. Kind of like the recipes in Like Water for Chocolate.

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Sueleen Gay: "Here you go, Bitch, now go make some fukcing lemonade." 10/28/10

#78

re: The Date Horror Story Thread

Posted: 8/15/06 at 12:25pm

Fortunately, I don't have any horror stories. None I can think of, anyway. Definitely none as bad as the ones I've read now.

Maybe I'll remember something.

#79

re: The Date Horror Story Thread

Posted: 8/15/06 at 12:28pm

Oh, Captain, surely you could make some up! C'mon...

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PEACE.

Updated On: 8/15/06 at 12:28 PM

#80

re: The Date Horror Story Thread

Posted: 8/15/06 at 12:33pm

Most of the dates I went on ended with him wanting to sleep with me.
No, ma'am.
The first date I had with J**** I had was pretty bad...He took me to Green Papaya (I think that's what it's called). Then he assumed I could get into JR's, and when I couldn't, he got pissed.

#81

re: The Date Horror Story Thread

Posted: 8/15/06 at 2:10pm

Captain, please, the grown-ups are talking now.

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Twitter @NamoInExile Instagram none

#82

re: The Date Horror Story Thread

Posted: 8/15/06 at 2:14pm

Order yours today!

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PEACE.

#83

re: The Date Horror Story Thread

Posted: 8/15/06 at 2:41pm

Who will play the lead when the movie rights are sold?

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"Two drifters off to see the world. There's such a lot of world to see. . ."

Updated On: 8/15/06 at 02:41 PM

#84

re: The Date Horror Story Thread

Posted: 8/15/06 at 2:41pm

Corine has a great rack.


And that hair!

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Suzanne: I never use catalogs. I'd rather go in the store and see all the salespeople groveling and sucking up to you. Julia: Pardon me, I never knew they were so solicitous at the K-Mart.

Updated On: 8/15/06 at 02:41 PM

#85

re: The Date Horror Story Thread

Posted: 8/15/06 at 2:42pm

I think I just wet my pants.

Excuse me.

#86

re: The Date Horror Story Thread

Posted: 8/15/06 at 2:44pm

"I don't think any of my exes are dead, but one got a job as a jizz-cleaner in a bathhouse, so that's pretty close."

Oh, Calvin...I so want to make that my sig.

How did I miss this delicious thread? Damn actually having to do some work!

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"Carson has combined his passion for helping children with his love for one of Cincinnati's favorite past times - cornhole - to create a unique and exciting event perfect for a corporate outing, entertaining clients or family fun."

"In Oz, the verb is douchifizzation." PRS

#87

re: The Date Horror Story Thread

Posted: 8/15/06 at 2:44pm

Oh, I've had one boyfriend in my life. But there are so many stories. SO. MANY. STORIES. Just say a word and I could probably give you a story that could make you cringe associated with it.

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"I can't figure out what kind of life this is, comedy or tragedy, I just know it's showbiz. And what if I don't agree with the lines I have to read? They don't pay me enough, the way I see it."

#88

re: The Date Horror Story Thread

Posted: 8/15/06 at 2:47pm

We already know about your ex... Is there anything else we should know?

#89

re: The Date Horror Story Thread

Posted: 8/15/06 at 2:47pm

Armpits.

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PEACE.

#90

re: The Date Horror Story Thread

Posted: 8/15/06 at 2:47pm

Greasy hair?
Bad breath?

#91

re: The Date Horror Story Thread

Posted: 8/15/06 at 2:51pm

The only true date horrors are when they are bad in bed.

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"Carson has combined his passion for helping children with his love for one of Cincinnati's favorite past times - cornhole - to create a unique and exciting event perfect for a corporate outing, entertaining clients or family fun."

"In Oz, the verb is douchifizzation." PRS

#92

re: The Date Horror Story Thread

Posted: 8/15/06 at 3:01pm

True Horror Date Story:

A guy who told me on our first (and only!) date that we should have 14 children then he would buy the boys prostitutes and the girls could keep our house neat. He thought that was absolutely hilarious.

#93

re: The Date Horror Story Thread

Posted: 8/15/06 at 3:03pm

Parents shouldn't encourage their children to have sex. That's weird.

#94

re: The Date Horror Story Thread

Posted: 8/15/06 at 3:10pm

"Corine has a great rack."

Which is why we can't judge the old man at Starbucks for trying to pinch the casabas.

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Twitter @NamoInExile Instagram none

#95

re: The Date Horror Story Thread

Posted: 8/15/06 at 3:11pm

I really do think she is quite pretty.

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Suzanne: I never use catalogs. I'd rather go in the store and see all the salespeople groveling and sucking up to you. Julia: Pardon me, I never knew they were so solicitous at the K-Mart.

#96

re: The Date Horror Story Thread

Posted: 8/15/06 at 3:12pm

Corine's rack is delish with a little mint jelly...yummy!

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PEACE.

#97

re: The Date Horror Story Thread

Posted: 8/15/06 at 3:19pm

When you lick it off her...?

Ew. Women's breasts are gross.

#98

re: The Date Horror Story Thread

Posted: 8/15/06 at 3:27pm

As Namo had said before:

Captain, please, the grown-ups are talking now

#99

re: The Date Horror Story Thread

Posted: 8/15/06 at 3:32pm

"And the upcoming..'why do men suck'" Is that before or after..."Mommy,why do I always fall in love with gay men?"

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"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment. Ralph Waldo Emerson

#100

re: The Date Horror Story Thread

Posted: 8/15/06 at 3:37pm

Oh, like she's the ONLY one, honey? *lifts eyebrow Dietrichly*

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Suzanne: I never use catalogs. I'd rather go in the store and see all the salespeople groveling and sucking up to you. Julia: Pardon me, I never knew they were so solicitous at the K-Mart.