The Date Horror Story Thread

Okay, that's totally NOT a horror story. You want horror stories, I'll give you horror stories!

One blind date I got licked. Not in a cute way. As in, the way you'd get licked by a dog.

Another date (it was not a first date, let's just clarify that upfront) I was bitten in a place no woman should ever be bitten. And I dont mean a playful bite either. I mean, I got chomped down on. Not fun.

Btw, I never spend a few hours getting ready for a date. lol

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Cootchie wax?

Technically, although it clearly sucks to be you, the "date" never happened so it's not really a "Date Horror Story" but a "Stood up Horror Story."

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Not mine.

I was tricked into going on a blind date with what turned out to be a 12 year old girl. Definitely not cool.

Updated On: 8/14/06 at 08:42 PM

I was tricked into going on a blind date with what turned out to be a 12 year old girl.

Oh, that's what is known as the Barbour defense.

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Corine, that didn't have to be a horror story. When that happens, go out anyway. Don't ever waste date hair.

Now, as for CJR, I think you and I need to form a support group. There's so many horror stories I could come up with, but this one ranks near the top -- as far as the ones I'm willing to publish go.

I had gone out with this guy a few times. Wasn't really feeling it, but I was going to give it one more shot. So he invites me to a party with his coworkers -- a bunch of teachers in some remote town in Cumberland County, New Jersey.

Naturally, I don't know a soul there when I arrive, and seeing that most of the guests are middle-aged, married, conservative heterosexual couples, we don't have that much to talk about. My date proceeds to drink about 5 glasses of wine and 7 or 8 shots of -- something. The other partygoers had since dragged out a karaoke machine, and I had heard quite enough of their versions of "If I Had A Hammer." My date, however, finds a disco karaoke CD, puts it in and starts to sing "Native New Yorker" three or four times in a row. Badly. Like, American Idol reject badly. After he left to go vomit on the lawn, the only thing the other partygoers ask me is, "You're driving, right?" I nodded, and somehow we made it to the train station without him puking in my car. I tossed him out of the car at the train station and never went out with him again. I later found out that he had entered AA after he beat the crap out of his latest boyfriend thanks to another heavy night of drinking.

Oh, so many more. There was the one that ended up with an under-the-table drug deal at IHOP (this one was truly the worst, but at least he was kind of cute)... The one who had a shrine to Pope John Paul II in his apartment... The closet case who would never go anywhere in public without a disguise...

He did always go for the tow-headed blondies.

etf: spelling error

Updated On: 8/14/06 at 09:05 PM

"Oh, so many more. There was the one that ended up with an under-the-table drug deal at IHOP (this one was truly the worst, but at least he was kind of cute)... The one who had a shrine to Pope John Paul II in his apartment... The closet case who would never go anywhere in public without a disguise... "

Oh my God, wow. You've gotta elaborate!

This isn't really a dating horror story, but about a week ago my friend bought me this... sort of... fondue warmer type of thing. I was all excited, ready to get out the velveeta cheese, when she starts explaining how it's a paraffin wax thingie for manicures. Talk about a letdown!

Anyway, it also came with stuff to do eyebrow and bikini waxing, so I spent like three hours convincing my boyfriend to let me wax something on him. He finally consents, and so he turns down the waistband of his drawers so I can wax the, uh, whatever you call the thing where a person's pubic hairline starts (well...).

Apparently, turning the knob on the fondue warmer thingie all the way up is VERY BAD. I scald him with hot wax, he starts screaming and flailing, knocks over the wax, and now my favorite VS Pink sweatpants are now ruined, along with my living room carpet. And I don't think he'll trust me anywhere near his pubic hair again =( Do you think there's a hallmark card for this sort of thing?

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Went out with this guy who had been bugging me for awhile to go out with him. As we were walking to the bar, he proceeded to pick flowers off trees as we walked, but not for me (which is fine because thats the kind of thing that would have made me laugh at him) and when we got to the bar he was being all weird sitting there smelling the flowers and not talking to me. Then he for somereason started to going through his messenger bag and pulls out a bottle of massage oil and winked at me. At this point I already knew this night was going south but I continued being polite. THEN he proceedes to spill a full bottle of beer (my beer by the way and a $10 beer no less) which soaks my cell which later dies. But that doesn't stop him from getting pretty drunk.

Finally we leave and he was nice enough to walk me home. He asks if he can come up and use my bathroom. I say sure, then he says that his phone is dead, and that he needed to call his ride to pick him up, so I let him use my beer saturated cell. He "calls" his ride and then gives me my phone back. And as we wait he keeps trying to hook up with me and I'm starting to get alittle annoyed. And things are getting uncomfortable, then about 30 minutes later when his ride isnt there im getting a little freaked because hes still drunk and not getting the fact that i dont want to hook up with im. So I look at my cell and he never called anyone. The last call on my phone was my mother. At this point I suggest we go wait outside for his friend, because I'd feel better if he was out of my apartment. Well then he snaps and starts screaming at me calling me a tease and things much worse. Somehow I get him out in the hallway and hes still going off yelling at me. So i locked him out. And after knocking on my door for a minute he finally leaves.

next day I get an IM from his "friend/ride" (which was actually him) asking if I had seen him, that he had been waiting for him and the guy punched him and then just stormed off and was wondering DC by himself all night. His "friend" proceeds to bother me for the next week trying to guilt me into throwing him out.

and people wonder why i have no faith in guys...

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I had a blind date that a friend had arranged for me and it turned out he was actually blind! He was a bit strange and tried to " Braille" over dinner . Also, I was asked out on a date the morning after my future husband proposed to me. Of course I turned the date down! By the way, I am divorced now.

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Oh, Corine, honey.

*makes you a martini*

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Elphaba,
That was it. I never asked the hero at Starbucks his name.
So, we can call that hero Taylor, after all this is a theater board.
Plus it makes me think of Tags.
Jaily. I am fine. I was just excited for the date. I have not had one with a new man in a few months.
No big deal. I will live.
Thanks,
C

To Calvin: Well, I might've kind of pushed him toward letting me near his pelvic area (hence the reason it took three hours to convince him...)

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