The Late Joan Rivers: 'Does this urn make my ash look fat?' — Page 24

And I would say that her jokes about her own looks were PARTICULARLY feminist because they were criticizing the unrealistic standards that our culture held women to, and still holds women to.

I would say her going after other women, particularly the super-cruel stuff and even more particularly (as even many of her admirers have said in tributes) people she perceived as younger, prettier and more successful than she, was the antithesis of feminism. And when some of the women telling her they were hurt by her and she responded "Oh they aren't HURT" that's a complete reflection of mainstream culture telling women that their honest reactions don't matter.

The main thing that happened in the years when Joan started doing more of the latter than the former was the Reaganization of America and her campaign to redo her face, which I still don't know whether that was her white flag moment or a statement of some sort I will never understand.

I want to say, in the clip of her interviewing theatrical rockers GWAR on one of her shows, the first question she asked was "What is the philosophy behind what you do?"

I do not think looking at Joan's work and asking questions like that is a bad thing, and a testament to its sheer volume and longevity.

With that, i want you to know that I love you but I am off to a rock and roll show so I will be thinking about these things only in my own head for the next few hours.

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I was paraphrasing Rob Sheffield's appreciation of her in Rolling Stone.

And again, I am talking about the act.

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Just re-watching Piece of Work on Netflix. Her line about her career "ask a nun why she's a nun,,, she has no choice." If I had one iota of her chutzpah.

Well, it's about time.

Now let's get some Chinese.

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Ok. Enough. Stop.

It doesn't matter who's Jewish or not or who is a family member or a member of a family by choice or not.

It doesn't matter.

Let people mourn as they will mourn. Let them have whatever connection they have. Let them feel whatever they feel. (Unless they're me, of course, because my feelings are wrong.)

When I started this thread I didn't think it would go a week before somebody else started other Joan threads. Instead, this somehow came to be the repository for everything instead of just the place where I said all the things about Joan and her comedy that I've always said about Joan and her comedy, at least for the last 25 years and sometimes on this board and a lot of it in person with people posting on this thread. And all of it, every idea, thought, opinion and especially feeling I have: WRONG. Because all of those things can be wrong and mine were.

Then Joan actually died and then there were all the other assorted threads I assumed would start in the wake of this one. But still this thread became the one, somehow.

I hope everybody gets what they want. Dimmed theater lights. A Guinness World Record for First Known Person to Care About AIDS, hell a THEATER named after Joan Rivers if that's what it will take. A Joan Rivers Memorial Museum in Lower Manhattan with a Windows On The Ground restaurant. A Joan Rivers theme park. A Joan Rivers mink farm with souvenir steel traps.

Whatever it takes. Whatever it takes for people to get through this difficult time and return to some level of happiness. You know, not HAPPY, but happy.

I don't regret starting this thread. I don't regret thinking about comedy and women in comedy (which is kind of my thing, I have seen many more live comedy performances by women than I have ever seen musicals, note to Headband). I do regret trying to gauge the temperature of the community and giving in to peer pressure and trying to pretend I care about Joan Rivers dying, because obviously I couldn't pull it off. Which is a shame, but only reinforces how wrong I am.

So, let people grieve. It's a healing process. Just because I can not relate does not mean that others aren't having very real feelings. Feelings aren't right or wrong (unless they're mine). So let people have them.

This thread is their thread.

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Updated On: 9/6/14 at 03:56 AM

"I do regret trying to gauge the temperature of the community and giving in to peer pressure and trying to pretend I care about Joan Rivers dying, because obviously I couldn't pull it off."

I'd add creating yet another thread to bookend a self-aggrandizing tome about yourself which was the aim all along. Succinct enough?

I admired Joan's longevity in the business and much of her earlier work.

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This thread is your thread, this thread is my thread
From Joan and Melissa to the Red Carpet arrivals
From the Fashion Police, to the Oxygen Network
This thread was made for you and me.

For the past week, I have felt like a goose being prepared to be a Joan Rivers pate.

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Just some dried-out toast in a sliver
On the top a...a little chopped liver.

OHHHH

I drink it all day!

Melissa.

I think it's great that there are so many threads about Joan Rivers. I hope for a few more..

Red carpet funeral

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