The Official Adam Pascal Love Thread, part three — Page 214

It sounds like you're not non-commital enough. "I'll get back to you" or "I'm not sure about my plans yet" might be clearer. Going with your best friend sounds nice.

I'm gonna go to bed now. 'Night, all!

I hope so, Elphie. It's also a social dysfunctional issue of... probably not an exact mutual understanding of what the relationship is. Like, one person thinking more of it than the other does -- which is also why these "plans" seem to firm, you know? It's a mess, and I should've taken care of it a while ago. The thing that rubs me the wrong way is that there are people who want to see it with me because they want to watch me react. They think it'll be cute to see me cry because I'm so proud, etc. While that's flattering, in a way, that's not what it should be about. I'm not an animal in a petting zoo, and that's sort of what I feel like sometimes. So, in a way, it's about what they can get out of experiencing it WITH me, rather than me wanting to do it alone. I just want to do it with people who don't have those sorts of expectations about it. I don't want to be on emotional display.

---

I have this ideal vision of seeing it with people I'm close to, but just having silence when it's all over. I don't want to talk about it right away. Maybe the next day, maybe a few hours later. I'll just want to hug someone, I think. I'll probably want to run over and hug Anthony when it's all over. Crying, I'm sure. It's weird to me that I can sort of predict my emotional reaction. I know that my reaction will be very highly emotional, but I can sort of see how it's going to go. That's weird to me. *shrug* Ramble, I do.

---

Updated On: 11/6/05 at 12:13 AM

You might surprise yourself too. I don't think I'll actually be able to see the "movie" the first time around, if you know what I mean.

*nod* Got it.
I have this strange feeling that I know this person. It just seems..familiar. *shrug* Wierd. It's none of my business.

---

Okay, am I the only one who is having wierd avatar problems? Half of them are not showing up.

---

They're better now!

---

I think I'm going to be shivering the whole time, because that's what happens to me when I'm having a great theatre experience; I always get chills and can't stop shaking. I'm sure I'll be crying at some point as well.

---

Yeah, I'm a loser. When we were in the front row of Wicked, I was shaking SO much, my sister thought I was dying or something! I couldn't stop.

I think it's a mother thing, Em. I showed my mom the "Out Tonight" video and she just said "Don't let your sister see this," and "That seems like it was quite a night." *headdesk* Oh, mother.

---

I'm not that emotional in general, but who knows how I'll react in the middle of what will obviously be a sobbing audience. If the cast are there for the screening, that could get pretty emotional for them too.

It took me a while to "get" Rent, so it may be the same for your mom. I originally bought the CD to hear Adam on it, and listened to the whole thing once, didn't care for the music all that much, and only listened to Adam's songs once in a while. Eventually I started listening to it as a whole and came to really love it. But it took quite a while.

Meanwhile, I cry at everything. And if I see someone crying, I can't help but join right in. Makes for some very emotional events. I ruined all of my graduation night photos because of this.

Heck, I'm in the middle of a Queer as Folk-a-thon... I've been crying for hours!

I react very emotionally to a lot of things. But, I've never cried at a movie. I've cried at a few shows. Never movies. But the first time I saw the trailer, I sobbed. I cried like a baby for at least an hour. And you know what? Three months later, if you ask me why I cried, I still can't even tell you why. I think that after how difficult it was for me to be okay with the movie, it just made me so happy to see something that was so, so beautiful... and that felt so right. This sounds silly, but this entire process of watching this movie come into being as much as I've been able to has brought so much into my life. It's done a lot for how I feel about the show, obviously. They're not sad tears. I don't think they ever were. It's just sort of this wall of emotion that's how I feel about the piece. And seeing it in a new way, working... that's just really, really beautiful.

I wish I could explain why, but I know I'll cry through the entire movie. I wish I could put it in terms that were more useful than 'it's so beautiful,' but I can't. It's just... it's here. It's finally, finally here. And maybe it's all so incredible that I can't do anything but cry. It's one of the strongest decidedly emotional responses we have.

---

Updated On: 11/6/05 at 01:05 AM