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The One Minute Musical

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#1

The One Minute Musical

Posted: 1/6/05 at 9:22pm

Are you tired of having to travel to some faraway theater and sit for 2 1/2 hours just for a little entertainment?

Well, worry no more!!!

BroadwayWorld is now introducing a series of One-Minute Musicals--to be enjoyed right at the privacy at your own PC--and you have the best seat in the house--YOURS!

The first selection in our collection I have been asked to introduce is:

THE KING AND I--

Anna: I am an uptight widow from Wales who has come to Siam to be the governess of your 125 children.

King: I am King. I know everything--I think.

Anna: Shall We Dance?

THE END

Who would like to introduce the next one-minute musical in the collection?

"I say YOU'RE the CUTEST one. No, I say YOU'RE the CUTEST One. And we go on like that from dawn to three."

#2

re: The One Minute Musical

Posted: 1/6/05 at 9:28pm

AVENUE Q!

Princeton: Oh man. I'm just out of college and I have no idea what I'm going to do.

(Time passes.)

Princeton: I still have no idea what I'm going to do...but I'm sort of happy...?

The End.

#3

re: The One Minute Musical

Posted: 1/6/05 at 9:29pm

Thoroughly Modern Millie
Millie: I want to marry someone rich
Jimmy: How about me?
Millie: Hell no!
(Time passes)
Millie: Jimmy, I want to marry you!
Jimmy: I'm rich!
Millie: We're getting married!

#4

re: The One Minute Musical

Posted: 1/6/05 at 9:30pm

THANKS, Mythus!

Y'know, that was the first time I saw Avenue Q...

"I say YOU'RE the CUTEST one. No, I say YOU'RE the CUTEST One. And we go on like that from dawn to three."

#5

re: The One Minute Musical

Posted: 1/6/05 at 9:31pm

HAHAHA! Brilliant, Mary! Hmmm...putting 2 1/2 hours of exposition into one minute...hmmmm...

CATS--

.................

The end.

#6

re: The One Minute Musical

Posted: 1/6/05 at 9:32pm

COOL, MFL!

And you know--you evoked the 1920s era perfectly!

"I say YOU'RE the CUTEST one. No, I say YOU'RE the CUTEST One. And we go on like that from dawn to three."

#7

re: The One Minute Musical

Posted: 1/6/05 at 9:33pm

RENT
Roger: I have AIDS. It sucks.
Mark: I can't make a decent film. It sucks.
Mimi: The guy I'm trying to seduce picked his guitar over me. It sucks.

[Time passes, people get together and break up]

Roger: I still have AIDS and it still sucks, but it doesn't matter because there's no day but today. And I have a really hot stripper girlfriend.

#8

re: The One Minute Musical

Posted: 1/6/05 at 9:34pm

Magnificent, Dextrous!

I assume you're also selling 1-minute CATS keychains...?

"I say YOU'RE the CUTEST one. No, I say YOU'RE the CUTEST One. And we go on like that from dawn to three."

#9

re: The One Minute Musical

Posted: 1/6/05 at 9:35pm

hahaha omg these are great! i can't even think of how to do it, so i'm just going to read.

"People asking questions, lost in confusion. Well I tell them there's no problems, only solutions." ~The one and only John Lennon

#10

re: The One Minute Musical

Posted: 1/6/05 at 9:35pm

Dextrous Existence i loved yours! it is so true!

"At the opening night party, they had clowns on stilts, jugglers, a chocolate fountain, popcorn, hot dogs. [My son] looked at me like I had been holding back. Like, 'This is what you do?' I had to tell him, 'No, no, darling. Opening nights don't usually look like this.' It's usually a dark bar with a bottle of vodka." ?Chitty Chitty Bang Bang's Jan Maxwell plus i proudly share the title of the shortest member over the age of 10 with wickedrentq!

#11

re: The One Minute Musical

Posted: 1/6/05 at 9:38pm

insomniak, that's EXACTLY how I imagined RENT looked like in production after reading about it!

I hope the film version is as succient!

"I say YOU'RE the CUTEST one. No, I say YOU'RE the CUTEST One. And we go on like that from dawn to three."

#12

re: The One Minute Musical

Posted: 1/6/05 at 9:38pm

Dextrous-That was great.

#13

re: The One Minute Musical

Posted: 1/6/05 at 9:43pm

WICKED--

Elphaba: Maaaan, I'm green and nobody likes me!
Galinda: Wow! I'm popular and everyone loves me!

(Time passes. Elphaba flies and whatnot.)

Glinda: Wow! I'm still popular and everyone still loves me!
Elphaba: Maaan, I'm still green and still nobody likes me! I'm going to go set up my suicide.

The end.

#14

re: The One Minute Musical

Posted: 1/6/05 at 9:43pm

OKLAHOMA!:

Laurey: I have the hots for you--but DON'T tell ANYONE.

Curley: Well, I have the hots for YOU--BUT DON'T TELL ANYONE!

(time passes)

Laurey & Curley: Let's tell EVERYONE!!!

THE END

"I say YOU'RE the CUTEST one. No, I say YOU'RE the CUTEST One. And we go on like that from dawn to three."

#15

re: The One Minute Musical

Posted: 1/6/05 at 9:44pm

I was just about to post that! Damn! But it was good.

#16

re: The One Minute Musical

Posted: 1/6/05 at 9:46pm

...so that's what all the WICKED fuss is about!

Now I don't feel out of the loop...

"I say YOU'RE the CUTEST one. No, I say YOU'RE the CUTEST One. And we go on like that from dawn to three."

#17

re: The One Minute Musical

Posted: 1/6/05 at 9:47pm

Snoopy:
Charlie Brown: I'm sad because I have no friends.
Snoopy: Everyone's stupid.
(time passes)
Charlie Brown: I have friends so I'm happy! Yay!
Snoopy: Everyone's still stupid, but I love the world.

#18

re: The One Minute Musical

Posted: 1/6/05 at 9:48pm

Assassins

Proprietor: Feeling blue? C'mere and kill a President!

John Wilkes Booth assassinates Abraham Lincoln

John Wilkes Booth: Well, that was kinda anticlimatic. Now everyone just thinks I'm an egotistical ass who just wanted fame.

Booth sits and watches all the Presidential assassins and would-be Presidential assassins who came after him

John Wilkes Booth: Man, I am in a company of some pretty ****ed up people.

Samuel Byck: Hey, don't blame me I'm from Massachusetts.

Proprietor: Johnny's right. You guys are ****ed up. Especially you, Mr. Guiteau, you gun worshiping SOB.

All: But everybody's got the right to be ****ed up.

Curtain

"One no longer loves one's insight enough once one communicates it."

The opposite of creation isn't war, it's stagnation.

Updated On: 1/6/05 at 09:48 PM

#19

re: The One Minute Musical

Posted: 1/6/05 at 9:50pm

This is fun.

Chicago

Roxie: I'm an unsucessful famewhore.
Velma: I'm a very sucessful famewhore.
Roxie: I'll shoot a guy and get a good lawyer and become a the biggest famewhore ever.
Velma: I'll try to keep her from taking my spot

[time passes]

Roxie: Whatever. We can share.

#20

re: The One Minute Musical

Posted: 1/6/05 at 9:50pm

well done with RENT, nia.

A work of art is an invitation to love.

#21

re: The One Minute Musical

Posted: 1/6/05 at 9:53pm

Pacific Overtures

Reciter: Japan is a tranquil land. We have a very unique culture and no foreign vistors can set foot on our soil because of the sacred decree.

America comes.

Reciter: Welcome to McDonalds Tokyo. May I take your order?

Curtain

"One no longer loves one's insight enough once one communicates it."

The opposite of creation isn't war, it's stagnation.

#22

re: The One Minute Musical

Posted: 1/6/05 at 9:54pm

THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA--

Phantom: Lalalaaa...I like your voice, Christine. But I'm secretly a pedophile, so I want you forever!
Christine: You're creeping me out, so I'll be with Raoul.
Phantom: Curse you then!

(Time elapses.)

Phantom: ...I give up.

The end.

#23

re: The One Minute Musical

Posted: 1/6/05 at 9:55pm

A Chorus Line

All: I really need this job
Zack: We can only take some of you
All (thinking): I bet I can make up the best sob story
[time passes]
Zack: Ok, best sob stories go to you, you, you, you...etc.
All: Yeah, now we can be anonymous again!
[They dance]

The End

Updated On: 1/6/05 at 09:55 PM

#24

re: The One Minute Musical

Posted: 1/6/05 at 9:56pm

CABARET:

Emcee: Welcome!

Sally: I'm a party girl who doesn't care much if the Nazis take over Germany. Can I hang out with you?

Cliff: Sure--I'm gay--but meeting you has turned me into a bisexual--and what are we going to do about the fact that you are now pregnant with our child?

Sally: Oh, don't worry. I'll just get an abortion!

Cliff: You aborted OUR child? PISS OFF!!!

Emcee: Good Night!

"I say YOU'RE the CUTEST one. No, I say YOU'RE the CUTEST One. And we go on like that from dawn to three."

#25

re: The One Minute Musical

Posted: 1/6/05 at 10:00pm

Someone take a stab at AIDA? I could use a laugh, and I'm not feeling particularly creative.

A work of art is an invitation to love.

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