The One Minute Musical- Page 4
The One Minute Musical
re: The One Minute Musical#75
Posted: 1/7/05 at 1:12pm
Okay...now we need to put on a show called
OMM: A collection of One Minute Musicals written by the broadwayworld people.
Broadway Legend Joined: 10/6/04
re: The One Minute Musical#76
Posted: 1/7/05 at 1:19pmJustice, I think we should do it as a concert and raise money for some charitable foundation...
re: The One Minute Musical#77
Posted: 1/7/05 at 1:22pmWord up!
Broadway Legend Joined: 10/6/04
re: The One Minute Musical#78
Posted: 1/7/05 at 1:41pm
HOW TO SUCCEED IN BUSINESS WITHOUT REALLY TRYING
Finch: Hi, I'm a Window Washer, but I really want to be the CEO of a large corporation. With my bubbly personality and winning smile, it shouldn't be too hard to do. Plus, I have this really cool handbook on how to get to the top in Corporate America.
Frump: Finch--you're a manipulative beast!
Finch: Yes--but I have a bubbly personality and a winning smile!
Rosemary: Finch--I love you!
Finch: I know--it's because I have a bubbly personality and a winning smile!
J.B. Biggeley: Finch, we're making you CEO of the Company!!!
Rosemary: And we're going to get married!
Finch: Well, a minute ago, I was a window washer. Now, I'm the CEO of a large corporation--with a beautiful girlfriend!
And it's all due to my little handbook on how to get ahead--and my bubbly personality and winning smile!!!
CURTAIN
re: The One Minute Musical#79
Posted: 1/7/05 at 1:52pm
DREAMGIRLS
Deena:
Oh, Effie, we're gonna be famous!
Lorell:
And I'm no longer a virgin!
Curtis:
Wait a minute! Deena, you're the one who's gonna be famous.
Effie:
What?!? Oh NO YOU DI'N'T!!! You done knocked me up and now you gonna gor for her? Why? 'Cause she's prettier?
Curtis:
Basically, yes.
(She goes to attack him, but C.C. holds her back)
C.C. It's okay Effie. I'll write great songs for you. Sure, you'll never be as famous as Deena, and my songs will be stolen by not only white people, but Curtis, too. But that doesn't matter. Cause we are a family.
Effie:
I've waited so long for you to say that to me.
Deena:
Can I go now? I'm too big a star to listen to this mess.
(40 years later)
Lorell (on the phone):
Hi, Deena, I hear you're doing a Dreams reunion.
Deena:
That's right.
Lorell:
Well, why ain't you call me? I'm all ready to go.
Deena:
That's alright. I already have my back up girls, Shequana and Taisha.
Lorell:
Who are they?
Deena:
The new Dreams.
Lorell:
I'm a sue yo ass!
THE END
Broadway Legend Joined: 10/6/04
re: The One Minute Musical#80
Posted: 1/7/05 at 1:57pm
LOL at DREAMGIRLS, Justice! 
re: The One Minute Musical#81
Posted: 1/7/05 at 1:58pmDextrous - that was brilliant.
Featured Actor Joined: 1/2/05
re: The One Minute Musical#82
Posted: 1/7/05 at 2:22pmWhy thank you, Rathnait. I feel that a lot of these (if not all) belong in a MAD magazine. Peh!
Broadway Legend Joined: 10/6/04
re: The One Minute Musical#84
Posted: 1/7/05 at 3:36pm
WONDERFUL TOWN
Ruth: Hi, we just arrived in Greenwich Village in the 1930s from Ohio. My sister Eileen is the pretty demure one, and I'm the opinionated loud-mouthed unattractive one.
Bob: Ruth, why can't you be a Quiet Girl like your sister? I might like you more!
Ruth: Well, right now, I have to dance the Conga with some Brazillian cadets for about ten choruses--I'll see what I can do!
Eileen: Oh, Bob--you LOVE Ruth--you just DON'T KNOW It!
Bob: Hey, you're right! I'm going to tell her tonight at the singing gig you got!
CURTAIN
re: The One Minute Musical#85
Posted: 1/7/05 at 3:43pm
Camelot
King Arthur: I'm an secure king.
Guenevere: Well, I'm a lusty slut. Let's get married.
They marry. Time passes.
Lancelot: I'm a flawless God.
Guenevere: I'm a lusty slut who likes a flawless God more than an insecure king. Let's have an affair.
They have an affair. Times passes. They have more affairs.
Mordred: I'm a rotten scoundrel who loves ruining the lives of insecure kings, lusty sluts and flawless Gods.
He ruins their lives.
The audience cries. Some for Arthur. Some for the numbness their butt feels after seeing a long ass show.
Curtain
The opposite of creation isn't war, it's stagnation.
Broadway Legend Joined: 10/6/04
re: The One Minute Musical#86
Posted: 1/7/05 at 3:52pm
HELLO, DOLLY!
Dolly: I'm a matchmaker, but I'm really interested in making a match for MYSELF--Mr. Horace Vandergelder.
Waiters: Hello, Dolly!
Vandergelder: Dolly, you're such a pain in the ass, I can't even stand being in the SAME ROOM with you!!!
Dolly: Well, that's fine. So long, Dearie!
Waiters: Hello, Dolly!
Vandergelder: Dolly, I've reconsidered. Will you Marry Me?
Dolly (coyly): Why, Horace, I thought YOU'D NEVER ASK.
Vandergelder: Hello, Dolly!
EVERYONE: Hello, Dolly!
CURTAIN
Broadway Legend Joined: 10/6/04
re: The One Minute Musical#87
Posted: 1/7/05 at 5:55pm
FIDDLER ON THE ROOF
Villagers: Tradition!
Tevye: But Tzeitel wants to marry a man SHE choose--not the one the Matchmaker did--oh, what the hell, I'll make up some crazy dream to tell Golde--she's pretty guilible.
Villagers: Tradition!
Tevye: But Hodel wants to marry that crazy Student Perchik because she's "in love" with him--oh, whatever, I'll tell Golde real fast and then change the subject and ask Golde if SHE loves ME.
Villagers: Tradition!
Tevye: But Chava wants to marry a goy! That's it, I'm fed up with this god-forsaken village and its anal-retentive traditions! We're all moving to America!
CURTAIN
Understudy Joined: 1/7/05
re: The One Minute Musical#88
Posted: 1/7/05 at 7:45pm
The Wizard of Oz
Dorothy: I hate my home it's boring.
(Dorothy goes to an amazing country, meets some new friends and had an adventure).
Dorothy: I want to go home.
re: The One Minute Musical#89
Posted: 1/7/05 at 7:47pm
fiddler on the roof
tevea:were jewish
daters:lets get married
natzis:LEAVE THIS TOWN!
Broadway Legend Joined: 10/6/04
re: The One Minute Musical#90
Posted: 1/7/05 at 8:12pm
ANNIE
Annie: Oh, woe is me! I wish I could find my REAL parents--rather than be cooped up in this ratty old orphanage run by that evil woman with anger management issues!
Daddy Warbucks: You can come and live with me, little girl.
Annie: Um, can you support a child?
Daddy Warbucks: Are you kidding? I'm the richest man in America!
Annie: WOW! Why don't you just adopt me? SCREW my real parents!
CURTAIN
re: The One Minute Musical#91
Posted: 1/7/05 at 8:27pm
DAME EDNA
DAme Edna:
I'm Dame Edna, and I'm georgously fabulous, or fabulously georgous, however you want to look at it - either way I'm Dame Edna, and you just spent $100 to hear me say that. Thank you and goodnight.
CURTAIN
Featured Actor Joined: 1/2/05
re: The One Minute Musical#92
Posted: 1/7/05 at 8:31pm
LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS--
Audrey II: Feed me!
Seymour: No.
(10 seconds later.)
Audrey II: Feed me!
Seymour: No.
(10 seconds later.)
Audrey II: Feed me!
Seymour: Okay.
(Audrey II takes over the world. We all die.)
The end.
Broadway Legend Joined: 3/28/04
re: The One Minute Musical#93
Posted: 1/7/05 at 8:35pm
CATS
The Cats: Look at us dance! *meow*
Munk: One of us is gonna go through reincarnation
Grizabella: Memory...
Big D: Good enough
The End
re: The One Minute Musical#94
Posted: 1/7/05 at 8:40pm
Miss Saigon
Engineer: Hi, I'm the engineer. I was originated by a British white man, but somewhere in the run, I turned Asian, which is what I was originally, yet, some found it confusing. Anyways, I own whores. Here is my new whore Kim.
Kim: Hi, I'm Kim. I was originated by a Phillipine, and in this run, I have been Japanese, Chinese, Thai, Korean, but never really Viet Namese. Anyway, I'm a virginal whore, and I'm about to fall in love to American named Chris.
Chris: Hi, I'm Chris. I don't know what I'm doing here in Viet Nam. I just know that I will fall in love with a virginal whore.
(Days pass)
Kim: Oh, look! It's so big! And it makes a lot of noise. How did they get that big thing in the theatre?
Chris: It's called a helicopter. I have to go, and you won't come with me, because these flimsy chain link fences are stopping you, along with these soldiers and their plastic guns.
(Years pass)
Kim: I have a son, and he needs to be with his father.
Ellen. Hi, I'm Ellen. I was originated by such actresses as Claire Moore and Liz Calloway, but like the Engineer, somewhere in the run, I became Asian. I think I became an Asian because I remind Chris of Kim, which is kind of sad...or confusing...or both. Anyway, I'm an Asian-American.
Kim: Which is why you can give a better life to my son.
Ellen: I don't want your son.
Kim: You bitch! Don't you know that I am in a third world, not to mention time period where antideppresants don't exist? (She shoots herself)
Chris: NOOOOO!!! (after a few seconds) Well, at least I have a wife that looks like her.
CURTAIN
re: The One Minute Musical#95
Posted: 1/7/05 at 9:00pm
MAMMA MIA:
...
Oh, wait, there IS no plot.
Broadway Legend Joined: 10/6/04
re: The One Minute Musical#96
Posted: 1/7/05 at 9:00pm
BRIGADOON
Tommy: Jeff, check it out! We've stumbled across a magical town in Scotland that only appears once every 100 years! And who might this pretty young thing be?
Meg: Just Meg Brockie, sir--waitin' for me dearie.
Tommy: Hey, Meg, I could go for you in a BIG WAY--but I have this ritch b*tch girlfriend waiting for me back in New York--see ya around!
(back in New York)
Tommy: I really miss Meg and Brigadoon. Too bad I'll never see her again--what with that appearing once every 100 years crap!
(goes back to Scotland just for the hell of it)
Tommy: Wait a minute! There's Brigadoon! And Meg! I DIDN'T lose her! IT'S A MIRACLE!!!
Mr. Lundie: Miracle? Get over yourself, loser! This is a MUSICAL--we can do anything we want!
CURTAIN
Broadway Legend Joined: 10/6/04
re: The One Minute Musical#97
Posted: 1/7/05 at 9:23pm
GREASE
(It's the '50s)
Danny: I'm a super-cool greaser!
Sandy: Look at Me, I'm Sandra Dee!
Danny: COOL!!! Let's get it on!
Sandy: Uh-uh!!! NOT until your greaser friends tease me, humiliate me, and make me feel pretty much like sh*t because I don't act like they do! THEN I'll be more than happy to rat my hair and take up smoking--STUD!
Danny: I'm all shook up!
CURTAIN
re: The One Minute Musical#98
Posted: 1/7/05 at 9:24pm
110 IN THE SHADE
Lizzie: It's hot up here.
Starbuck: I can make it rain.
Lizzie: Noah thinks you're crazy.
Starbuck: Noah thinks you're plain.
Lizzie: Just shutup and kiss me. (He does)
I think it's starting to rain.
(It does)
CURTAIN
Broadway Legend Joined: 10/6/04
re: The One Minute Musical#99
Posted: 1/7/05 at 9:27pm
Hey Justice,
I'm SO PLEASED someone else is familiar with 110 IN THE SHADE--that was beautiful!!!
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