Time is for white people.- Page 3

[Phyllis Rogers Stone]

Posted: 4/23/08 at 10:35am

Do you build in extra time to make sure you don't arrive to theatre late?

I DO think that in most cases chronic tardiness is a sign of disrespect for others. My ex-roommate was the same way, to the point where even if we were going to the same place I'd make different arrangments, rather than leave two hours after the allotted start time.

[Jane2]

Posted: 4/23/08 at 10:36am

DG, that's a special and unique situation and totally understandable.

It's interesting that the people in my life who are habitual latecomers are perfectly delightful in most other ways. They're cheerful, agreeable, generous, fun, and that's why I have them as friends. The one glaring problem is the lateness and I guess that's how they manifest their anger. (it has to come out somehow, right?

[tazber]

Posted: 4/23/08 at 10:39am

I have always been super anal about being on time. In college my acting teacher used to have a motto: "15 minutes early, or you're late".

I had an ex who used to always keep me waiting. I mean ALWAYS. I tend to be laid back and just chalked it up his being busy. But now I realize that it was a power play by him. He liked to know that I would always be there are wait for him, b/c what he was doing was soooo much more important that anything I could possibly have to do.
Arrogance.

[DG]

Posted: 4/23/08 at 10:41am

Jane - I agree. But the question was presented with the word 'possibly' in all caps, seemingly emphasizing the feeling that there COULDN'T be extenuating circumstances. Son specifically pointed out physical and/or cognitive issues, and the response seemed to say that that wasn't good enough. I provided my own situation to counter that perception.

And Phyllis - we do all we can, but the reality is, sometimes she just has too much difficulty. We are people who actually like to get places VERY early, and have sometimes literally had the doors hitting our rears as we entered the building. It's difficult to deal with at times, but as I said, we've made a very conscious choice to accept the parameters.

[Unknown User]

Posted: 4/23/08 at 10:52am

Taz I hope you kicked his late ass to the curb! I dated a guy who as always late, too. Hours late for the silliest reasons- one time because his sister (who he lived with) decided she wanted to go out to breakfast and it would have been rude to tell her he already had plans.

I finally just said- enough.

[tazber]

Posted: 4/23/08 at 10:54am

we split up, but not for that. That's a whole other story!

[Jane2]

Posted: 4/23/08 at 11:01am

Joe, I had a friend with similar issues. He'd be so late that it was hours! and he never took the blame-it was always turned around to be MY problem that I had a problem with his lateness! Can you imagine?

He once called me to go to the beach. The plan was to meet down in the subway. After waiting an hour, I went back home and called him. He was as nonchelant as ever, saying "Oh, I had to buy cat food."

Please, that wasn't even the worst of it. He once screwed up his own family member's confirmation. He had all the gifts at his house, and decided he didn't feel like going.

My way of handling it at first was to tell him that I wasn't good at waiting, so if he gets there and I'm gone, he'll understand. After a while, I just stopped making plans with him.

[doodlenyc]

Posted: 4/23/08 at 11:11am

Lateness is passive agressive behavior in many cases...not in the "flat tire" scenario, or like DG's example.

Jane, your last example was douchebagginess.

On the flip side, I went on a first date with a guy years ago and got on an express subway by accident and had to backtrack and was about 10 minutes late to meet him at a restaurant. I apologized profusely, but he clearly wasnt interested. He either wasnt that into me - though he was all over me before that, or had really been put out by those 10 minutes. It was the worst date ever.

[Jane2]

Posted: 4/23/08 at 11:16am

"I apologized profusely,"

Talk about apologies! The latecomers I know hardly, if ever, apologize.

[doodlenyc]

Posted: 4/23/08 at 11:59am

That's my point...I truly was sorry and am not habitually late...this guy never got to find that out. He never got over it during the date, either. Perhaps he had abandonment issues or some other reason to be very sensitive.

Of course, the argument could be made that I subconsiously got on the wrong train on purpose.

[uncageg]

Posted: 4/23/08 at 1:01pm

Erykah has always been "out there". But I love her music. She's coming to Denver in June and I plan to see her again.

[nmartin]

Posted: 4/23/08 at 1:51pm

There are only two acceptable excuses for lateness: coma and death, and I require a doctor's note for both in order to give an excused tardy.

[son_of_a_gunn_25]

Posted: 4/23/08 at 2:43pm

I'm far from saying there is an excuse for every situation, I was just saying there can be underlying medical issues and disorders that can affect some people.

I cope with my own issues as best I can (Sleeping disorder, pervasive ADHD, and Anxiety Disorder which weren't diagnosed until I was 21.) I will not claim that planning ahead in some cases wouldn't solve the issue, but in my case it is mainly related to getting overwhelmed by too many things at once which leads to greater anxiety and stress which exacerbates the sleeping disorder as well as the ADHD.

I tend to be on top top of things until I get stressed out. I am not good at gaging how stressed I am much like if you slowly turn the heat up on a frog in a pot of water it doesn't realize it is being cooked.

I am also not one to make excuses, and I continually strive to keep these issues in check. But before I recognized these issues for what they were and recognized that my time management/organization skills would never be typical, these issues controlled my life. Now I have more if not total control over them and my life than I did when I told myself and listened to others telling me I was lazy or just didn't care enough.

[Liverpool]

Posted: 4/23/08 at 2:46pm

my boyfriend agrees with erykah

[DayDreamer]

Posted: 4/23/08 at 2:53pm

Timeliness can very much be a cultural thing. I grew up in Latin America, very laid back. NOTHING happens on time, mostly because no one is rushed to do anything. Not even local tv runs on time - when I was growing up the 11 o'clock news would come on sometime before midnight.

And my friends and family think we are nuts for being so obsessed with everything having to be on-time; they think we put our emphasis on the wrong things and don't enjoy life the way it's meant to.

[StageManager2]

Posted: 4/23/08 at 3:05pm

My older sister and her husband are always "fashionably late" for everything. You know the saying "He'll be late for his own funeral"? Well, they were late for their own wedding rehearsal. Or rather, they didn't show. Our family arrived promptly at the church and waited... and waited... and waited. Finally, we'd had enough and left. Later, we learned that someone from his family had sprung a surprise party on them and they decided to stay. Trouble is, they didn't bother to call any of us about the change in plans. *sarcasm alert* And things were going SO well up until then.

[MTVMANN]

Posted: 4/23/08 at 3:17pm

Maybe she lost her mind when she took off her gimmicky head wraps!

[Namaste]

Posted: 4/24/08 at 2:11am

I was late every day of grade school.

The first 10 minutes of school were ALWAYS a waste of time. After morning announcements, the Pledge of Allegiance, The Star Spangled Banner and attendance ten minutes had easily gone down the drain.
Updated On: 4/24/08 at 02:11 AM

[jeniferrenepatricia]

Posted: 4/24/08 at 2:26am

And you call these things "a waste of time?" Nice.

[Namaste]

Posted: 4/24/08 at 2:30am

Yes. By second grade the monotony of those daily tasks became a little too "institutional" and systematic for me.

Yes. You got me. I DON'T wear a flag pin. Should I move to Canada???

[jeniferrenepatricia]

Posted: 4/24/08 at 2:34am

If you'd like...your choice.

[Namaste]

Posted: 4/24/08 at 2:36am

I'm good. Thanks!

[Jane2]

Posted: 4/24/08 at 8:52am

"
The first 10 minutes of school were ALWAYS a waste of time. After morning announcements, the Pledge of Allegiance, The Star Spangled Banner and attendance ten minutes had easily gone down the drain. "

Every day of grade school? You couldn't bear 10 minutes? Doesn't grade school begin kindergarten, at age 5? so you were late every day from age 5 until you were a teenager. You had anger and hostility at such an early age!

[shira467]

Posted: 4/24/08 at 8:57am

Well, I try to be on time, and I'm either 10 minutes early or 10 minutes late most of the time...

But I do apologize when I am late.

[Mister Matt]

Posted: 4/24/08 at 9:36am

I grew up in Latin America, very laid back. NOTHING happens on time, mostly because no one is rushed to do anything.

LOL I remember going to the theatre in Buenos Aires. An 8:00 curtain was merely a suggestion of when people should think about starting to arrive. By 9:30, the audience, all of whom are late, start stomping their feet and hissing to demand the performance to begin. I don't know how they determine when to start any show. It was truly bizarre. Great show, however. Joaquín Cortés in Pasión Gitana.