Oops, I forgot I was still here.
Anyway, so I sat down and started chatting up the group behind me, that way when Jenn came back from the hotel, they wouldn't be so pissed that she technically cut the line. There were two girls, I think 19 and 22 years old, and the 19 year old's mom. They were unintentionally hysterical and annoying. I wish I had a photo of them. You know the "Rick! Rick! Rick!" skit from SNL? That is EXACTLY the girl, down to the sweats and the shoulder-length blonde hair and the glasses and the voice. And the mom was like Lorraine from MadTV. They were incredibly obnoxious and over-eager. The mom was loud and irate that there wouldn't be any chairs on the floor. (*spoken with loud Sean Connery-esque enunciation* "Are you shuuuure about thayt? When I went to Yahhnni there wir CHAIRS! Ah, geesh.")
I digress.
So we're waiting, waiting, waiting. According to a staffer, we're roughly 180th in line and I was standing for most of it in my tight heeled boots.

(My feet are still swollen. Want a pic?)
I pick up the merchandise (including a cute white rubber One bracelet) and we hang out. The line is growing so much and at 5:30, they get us to stand up and condense so it'll move fast come 6pm.
Then at 5:45, the staffer on the megaphone hollers, "I just got this announcement. There has been a change. Don't shoot the messenger, it's not my decision. I've just heard that management is NOT permitting any cameras whatsoever into the concert. So either chuck 'em or check them in on the east side of the arena right now." Basically, leave my primo spot, pray someone can hold it for me, and bolt to the other side of a giant arena to check in my goddamn digital camera and the disposable.
So I'm sulking and jogging to the other side, and I hear another staffer talking to upset people near the back of the line, saying, "You know what? You didn't hear this from me but...stick it in your pocket. They're only doing bag searches. Stick the camera in your pocket and they won't notice."
With a big ol' grin, I jog back to my place in line. And then I realized me being a hoochie, I'm only wearing a tank top and tight pants. And unless I've got a box-shaped STD, there's no 'splaining the square sticking out of my pants. (No hairy man jokes.)
"It's not always about you!!!" (But if you think I'm referring to you anyway, then I probably am.)
"Good luck returning my ass!" - Wilhemina Slater
"This is my breakfast, lunch and f***ing dinner right here. I'm not even f***in' joking." - Colin Farrell
Updated On: 4/27/05 at 09:57 PM