Were your gay plans thwarted by the blizzard?

[singtopher]

Posted: 12/28/10 at 11:29am

VIRGINIA BEACH (The Borowitz Report) - Rev. Pat Robertson sparked controversy in today's broadcast of his 700 Club program when he claimed that God created the blizzard currently battering the Northeast "to punish Americans who were planning to drive to do something gay."

Explaining his theory, Rev. Robertson said, "Because of the bad road conditions the Almighty has made, any gay activities that people were planning on doing will have to be postponed by a day or two."

Additionally, he argued, God shut down major airports in the New York area "so that people who were hoping to fly to do something of a gay nature would have to take a train or a bus, so it might be days before the gay thing they were going to do could occur."

As for the millions of straight people in New York City who were also grounded by the bad weather, the televangelist said, "I think God probably wonders, if these people are really straight, then what are they doing in New York?"

In other blizzard-related news, the National Weather Service offered this update: "It's as white as a Glenn Beck rally out there." More here.


http://www.huffingtonpost.com/andy-borowitz/pat-robertson-snow-is-god_b_801755.html

Updated On: 12/28/10 at 11:29 AM

[AbbaRabbit]

Posted: 12/28/10 at 11:38am

i was totally planning to do something gay.

[Jordan Catalano]

Posted: 12/28/10 at 11:41am

I just went on grindr and did something gay 408 feet away from me.

[Marianne2]

Posted: 12/28/10 at 11:43am

What if you were stuck somewhere with your partner? Does that make it less gay and okay? This guy is a nutjob.

[JerseyGirl2]

Posted: 12/28/10 at 11:47am

That's what happens when all those people don all that gay apparel!

Oh wait. I thought Pat really said that. lol Dammit. I fell for it.

Updated On: 12/28/10 at 11:47 AM

[Unknown User]

Posted: 12/28/10 at 12:02pm

Actually God was pissed that people keep ruining his son's birthday by bitching that people say "Happy Holidays" instead of Merry Christmas. So he shut this mofo down.

[clever name]

Posted: 12/28/10 at 12:49pm

He is seriously menatlly ill. His close friends and family should see this and get him help. Any real Christian should start praying hard for him. He needs it.

[SeanMartin]

Posted: 12/28/10 at 1:03pm

^^ It's a joke, bud. Follow the link.

Granted, it sounds like something he *would* say.

But he didnt.

[clever name]

Posted: 12/28/10 at 1:09pm

Thank God!! I thought that was real!! I was flipping out.

[songanddanceman2]

Posted: 12/28/10 at 1:15pm

Only in America

[AC126748]

Posted: 12/28/10 at 1:50pm

The weather totally didn't stop me from doing many gay things...especially watching FUNNY GIRL whilst snowed in.

[Kad]

Posted: 12/28/10 at 11:32pm

"Only in America"

...Not really.

[wonderwaiter]

Posted: 12/28/10 at 11:38pm

"Only in America"

...Not really.


Now now, Don't disabuse songanddouchebag2 of his condescending and frankly xenophobic fantasies - you'll come of as a "big meanie", and who would want that?

Updated On: 12/29/10 at 11:38 PM

[songanddanceman2]

Posted: 12/29/10 at 11:46am

OK it was a joke, lighten up, i love the USA, half of my family live there.

"Now now, Don't disabuse songanddouchebag2 of his condescending and frankly xenophobic fantasies - you'll come of as a "big meanie", and who would want that?"

Wow songanddouchebag2, that's clever, you must have stepped away from your home work for a whole 20 seconds to come up with that.