I love being gay! I love hanging out with my girlfriends and getting facials, then going for a mani (clear polish please!), and then hitting Barney's! I advise them on what to wear (bootleg-cut jeans are always safe) and what never to wear (muu muus won't ever come back ladies!).
Then we teeter down the street, arm in arm, giggling at all the silly tourists and their poor fashion choices! We point and laugh at their fannypacks, strapped over bulging bellies. We giggle at their Ogilvye home perms. We taunt them with our Venti Low-Cal No-Whip Frappucinos and make fun of their lack of discipline. Iowa, if you want the pants to fit, you must quit!
Then we go to a Pilates class and compliment each other on our muscle tone, and we follow it with a big glass of colon blow which we then purge in the luxe bathrooms of our gym!
Oh, to be gay!
http://preppylife.tumblr.com/