Wow...- Page 3

[Jane2]

Posted: 9/24/08 at 5:48pm

"Their relationship, their engagement, their ring, their understanding, THEIR decision."

Whatever, but when both parties are fighting over the ring, shmettiquette has to step in.

[The Ghost of Kringas]

Posted: 9/24/08 at 5:50pm

etiquette, shemetiquette. Hard to buy someone proposing absolute manners on THIS board! and since when does anyone have to/want to accept all the traditions of marriage as defined by centuries of etiquette?!?!?!

Ahahahahaha! If you're such a forward thinker, shouldn't you disprove of the ring completely, since it's essentially a man branding his property?

[TxTwoStep]

Posted: 9/24/08 at 5:52pm

yet, they're not fighting over it. Posters to this thread are. R CHICKEN stated how they handled it.

And my point about "villain" is that a lot here seem to want to cast her that way because she broke the engagement and his heart. The "punishment" seems to be forfeit of the ring, defined by tradition. Only he can decide if that role and consequence really fits her (and his view of her), because only he knows the whole story of their relationship.

Mrs. Manners might quite correctly advise all of us to stay the heck out of it.

[jasonf]

Posted: 9/24/08 at 5:53pm

I think that's such a sad way to look at it. Yes, at one time it was that, but I think now of it as a symbol of the promise. In fact, I told my fiancee that it's not really fair that women get to have the symbol while men don't have anything. It's absolutely outdated today, but if you look at it as what it is, it actually can be a beautiful thing.
I agree with Stockardfan - get the ring back and trade it in when you find the right girl.

[The Ghost of Kringas]

Posted: 9/24/08 at 5:54pm

Mrs. Manners might quite correctly advise all of us to stay the heck out of it.

She'd probably also say don't spill your business on a message board if you don't want people to discuss it.

[StockardFan]

Posted: 9/24/08 at 5:54pm

Thanks Jason!

And I love my engagement ring. I'm so glad I'm a girl....LOL! I'd hate to be the one who gets no fancy ring.....

[Jane2]

Posted: 9/24/08 at 6:06pm

"yet, they're not fighting over it. Posters to this thread are. R CHICKEN stated how they handled it."

I was actually referring to the situation in general, no matter who the couple is.

." Hard to buy someone proposing absolute manners on THIS board"

That's why we love it! What are you doing here, then?

[The Ghost of Kringas]

Posted: 9/24/08 at 8:38pm

Is TxTwoStep the ex or something?

All I can go on is what RuthlessChicken posted. He started a thread saying his girlfriend of three years and fiance of seven months just dumped him and he didn't know what he was going to do except listen to Phantom and post on BWW. It sounds to me like this kind of came out of the blue and it doesn't sound like it was a healthy break-up.

Here are some questions I have. And RuthieChick, don't answer if you don't want to, but know that I really am coming from a decent place here. I'm not trying to belittle you or be snarky.

ANYway, how much did the ring cost? And did you two actually have a conversation about her keeping the ring or did you just decide to let her to it avoid an awkward conversation?

[TxTwoStep]

Posted: 9/24/08 at 8:41pm

Jane, i'm not sure why you're taking this so personally. It seems like a lot of posts on here are not about R CHICKEN's situation, but about proving how wrongly i seem to view it. A lot of you are saying how you'd handle it, and i'm saying how i did, and how it seems he has (which appear to be similar). How does that make me so wrong, when how others here would handle it are deemed right? Grabbing my words and firing back at me...maybe that's best in PM? Surely i'm allowed to post how i view it just as everyone else is, even if it's in the minority.

i reacted to the "manners" and "etiquette" mention, i didn't claim to have perfect ones. Check my other posts on this board and the Broadway one to see "why i'm here". i try to be as civil as possible on here, and try not to attack others unduly. i apologize if it seems otherwise to you.

[The Ghost of Kringas]

Posted: 9/24/08 at 8:45pm

You think she's taking this personally? You. Think SHE. Is taking this personally?

[TxTwoStep]

Posted: 9/24/08 at 8:49pm

Well, SHE did ask ME why i was on this board, not the reverse. Not to worry, i'll just go split hairs over on HUBBA BUBBA or ISN'T JEREMY PIVEN HOT.

And the rest belongs in PM land. This is getting ridonkulous.

[The Ghost of Kringas]

Posted: 9/24/08 at 8:53pm

Well, your implication clearly was that the people at BWW had no business acknowledging the pretty widely accepted etiquette for what happens when I a woman dumps her fiancee. I think her question was more along the lines of "If you don't think the opinions here are worth anything, why are you here?"

Again, it would seem to me that it was YOU who is taking this personally.

Updated On: 9/24/08 at 08:53 PM

[Jane2]

Posted: 9/24/08 at 9:34pm

tx-huh?

I couldn't care less about anything in this thread.

We just post opinions here. I'm too busy watching Project Runway to concentrate on this.

[Jane2]

Posted: 9/24/08 at 10:01pm

Project Runway is over. Thanks ghost- you get it. Now on to top design!

[RuthlessChicken]

Posted: 9/25/08 at 12:42am

Well, I paid about $1000 for it. It's definitely not the six grand that Stockard's boyfriend spent, but that's a LOT of money to me. I'm a broke Theatre major in College and am currently doing an unpaid musical. And no, we didn't discuss it. I really wouldn't want to bring that up.

[The Ghost of Kringas]

Posted: 9/25/08 at 12:46am

Ha - not to you, Ruthie, you're a very good sport, but to Tx - I was right!

Okay. A thousand bucks IS a lot of money, but it's not an obscene amount of money. You could eat that with my blessing.

That said, you have every right to just nicely contact her and say, "Hey, when you can, let's set up a time for me to get the ring back."

[TxTwoStep]

Posted: 9/25/08 at 7:54am

okay, just so we're clear:

JANE2 doesn't care, and KRINGAS was right, and i wasn't, about a matter in PM land.

i hope those two facts really comfort R CHICKEN in this transition.

[jasonf]

Posted: 9/25/08 at 8:38am

Still, a thousand dollars IS a lot of money when you don't have a lot of money. I still say you're well within your right to ask for it back (and, if my jeweler was right, to actually sue for it if you wanted to go that far).
I know I haven't been much help in the "helping move on" department, but I do hope that some of the madness here has at least been something of a distraction.

[jasonf]

Posted: 9/25/08 at 8:38am

Still, a thousand dollars IS a lot of money when you don't have a lot of money. I still say you're well within your right to ask for it back (and, if my jeweler was right, to actually sue for it if you wanted to go that far).
I know I haven't been much help in the "helping move on" department, but I do hope that some of the madness here has at least been something of a distraction.

[Biff AKA Levi]

Posted: 9/25/08 at 8:45am

The laws range from state to state, but I remember something on Judge Judy about the ring thing. If the promise is broken, and the ring is a symbol of that promise, then the guy can sue for the ring. Unless it was given on a birthday, or as a Christmas present, and then its a gift.

I love Judge Judy.

[jasonf]

Posted: 9/25/08 at 8:48am

Maybe my jeweler watches Judge Judy. :)

[The Ghost of Kringas]

Posted: 9/25/08 at 9:18am

If you want me to call her and ask for it back, Ruthie, I will. Just give me her number.

Posted: 9/25/08 at 1:15pm

FYI- expect to get no more than 10-15% of the original price when selling an engagement ring. So you bought a $1000 ring and will be selling a $100 one.

[TxTwoStep]

Posted: 9/25/08 at 1:20pm

i hear radio commercials all the time for a local jeweler who pitches their stuff as "bonded"...which the commercials indicate means you can sell it back to the firm for the price you paid originally. Anyone familiar with that concept? can it really work?

Posted: 9/25/08 at 3:07pm

I am not familiar with the term- A lot of jewelers will give a 30 or 90 day guarantee like that- meant to assure you that if she says No or doesn't like the ring you can bring it back. Other chains guarantee that it will "Appraise" for at least what you paid for it- a very easy promise to make as there are standard "Appraisals" for commercially made jewelry: A certain carat weight diamond + a certain quality + a certain Karat quality and weight of gold will always yield a certain "appraised" value. SO as long as the store didn't lie about any of the components, it will check out. And the Appraisal has no correlation to sale price which is set by the retailer.