#1
Posted: 7/7/04 at 2:30pm
welcome to the first edition of broadstreet.com or bs.com as we here like to call it. you've found the place on the internet for infantile fantasies, rampant a**kissing, and a general lack of wit. come join our merry band of pranksters as we take a tour down memory lane this morning to look back on the recent past here at bs.com.
for those of you just joining us, you still have time to try to cram your entire head into a tony winning composer's backside by complimenting his dog, or his cat, or the boil on his left buttcheek which has been paining him mightily lately since he's been unable to walk after that terrible tumble. take a tour over to the get well thread and drop him a line, he'll be sure to respond as long as he can hear the smack of your lips coming though your words. that's right, you two can brown your lips right here at bs.com.
but that's not all that we offer here, no sir, not by a long shot! you can clamber to be the first to be labeled a hissy by our resident one trick pony arbiter of taste dumb . that's right, he's so blazingly quick with his quips that your medulla will be obligated to sing his praises and proudly wear your hissy label. but whatever you do, don't upset dumb , 'cuz you don't want his minions to turn on you and whine like a classroom full of unchanged toddlers. nope, just smile and nod no matter how pathetic the banter gets. that's the bs.com way!
for the more sensitive among you, those who have trouble keeping up when the words carry multiple syllables, don't you worry, here at bs.com we don't discriminate against the linguistically challenged. join our pal &wiltingninny& as she finds new ways to try to get everyone to just get along here. you'll surely love it when she invites you to make up your own language because those darn english words that the rest of the folks use are just too dang hard to figure out. just remember though, she's as innocent as a newborn baby, so be careful all you nasty sex pots with your innuendoes around her, please!
our style section is just chock full of folks who'll be glad to point out all your flaws while they celebrate each other with gushing open mouthed fawning. newcomer to bs.com but an old favorite around the boards masswannabe can teach you all the best fashions that are only a day or so or a season late, so no one will really notice. if you praise her enough she might introduce you to some of her fabulous friends, who shall, of course, remain nameless since most of them want nothing to do with her anymore. but don't worry, she's got plenty of new sycophants to fill her ego cup and praise her work as an extra on some fabulous straight to video classics. soon she'll be as popular as corona who is still has fans although we're unclear how many stars still have restraining orders against her.
speaking of people who are quick to point out your flaws and talk behind your back thinking that no one can ever find their secret places, meet dullpup . old, and i do mean old, dull's been around message boards since darpanet went online in the 70's. he's got a slew of degrees which he is always quick to point out to you and he uses them on public school students. yep, dullsie's great wit and intellect are wasted on children whom he's never above demeaning to anyone who'll listen. so be careful because he's the spelling cop here at bs.com. he's also got a chip on his shoulder the size of gibralter from his failed ambitions and the fact that the only people who seek his approval are online groupies consisting mostly of middle-aged men and women who don't see his barbs for the cruel jabs that they are until after they've been burnt (but boy-oh-boy can some of them turn and burn right back!). and watch out because dullpup has new friends like mutt_b who're glad to leap on the bandwagon and bash someone in a pathetic search for approval from someone, anyone, please.
now don't forget that we have plenty of folks here who like to practice their own forms of discretion involving doors, closets, etc. so if you like to float on a higher cloud than most and hold folks to a higher standard than you hold yourself and talk down to people, come on in! some of them are even writers and interviewers here at bs.com. by reading their work you can see that we're not particular about spelling and or grammar or facts here, so anyone can be a columnist and delete the posts of others that they don't like!
if you're an ambitious nobody who's convinced that they are going places, bs.com is the perfect place to hitch your wagon to a star, or at least to someone who might possibly be somebody that knows somebody who can kinda do something to help your career, maybe. if not, what the heck, you've practiced your fawning skills and that's the true spirit of bs.com! those youngsters among you who are just starting out, come on out and show your elders how arrogant youth truly can be. see if you too can offend someone who works in your intended field and who holds grudges.
we also want to mention that we're open to political discourse here at bs.com as long as you're willing to ignore facts, report speculation and heresay as absolute truth and demonize anyone who doesn't agree with you. practice up on the words homophobe, racist, redneck and the like as you'll be required to draw them at will rather than support your own views. remember, if you disagree with someone it's better to attack the person than the view that way it's easier to ignore any basis in reality that their opinions might have.
that's pretty much a summary of our lives here folks, save for them that like to groom the young 'uns around here while maintaining that they are merely supporting them. yep, there's nothing like watching a few old codgers mix it up with some underage kids bouncing full of hormones. better than a confessional around junior high dance time.
well, that's all for this time, kids! join us for the next trip when we discuss the what why and how of thread deletion! toodles...
for those of you just joining us, you still have time to try to cram your entire head into a tony winning composer's backside by complimenting his dog, or his cat, or the boil on his left buttcheek which has been paining him mightily lately since he's been unable to walk after that terrible tumble. take a tour over to the get well thread and drop him a line, he'll be sure to respond as long as he can hear the smack of your lips coming though your words. that's right, you two can brown your lips right here at bs.com.
but that's not all that we offer here, no sir, not by a long shot! you can clamber to be the first to be labeled a hissy by our resident one trick pony arbiter of taste dumb . that's right, he's so blazingly quick with his quips that your medulla will be obligated to sing his praises and proudly wear your hissy label. but whatever you do, don't upset dumb , 'cuz you don't want his minions to turn on you and whine like a classroom full of unchanged toddlers. nope, just smile and nod no matter how pathetic the banter gets. that's the bs.com way!
for the more sensitive among you, those who have trouble keeping up when the words carry multiple syllables, don't you worry, here at bs.com we don't discriminate against the linguistically challenged. join our pal &wiltingninny& as she finds new ways to try to get everyone to just get along here. you'll surely love it when she invites you to make up your own language because those darn english words that the rest of the folks use are just too dang hard to figure out. just remember though, she's as innocent as a newborn baby, so be careful all you nasty sex pots with your innuendoes around her, please!
our style section is just chock full of folks who'll be glad to point out all your flaws while they celebrate each other with gushing open mouthed fawning. newcomer to bs.com but an old favorite around the boards masswannabe can teach you all the best fashions that are only a day or so or a season late, so no one will really notice. if you praise her enough she might introduce you to some of her fabulous friends, who shall, of course, remain nameless since most of them want nothing to do with her anymore. but don't worry, she's got plenty of new sycophants to fill her ego cup and praise her work as an extra on some fabulous straight to video classics. soon she'll be as popular as corona who is still has fans although we're unclear how many stars still have restraining orders against her.
speaking of people who are quick to point out your flaws and talk behind your back thinking that no one can ever find their secret places, meet dullpup . old, and i do mean old, dull's been around message boards since darpanet went online in the 70's. he's got a slew of degrees which he is always quick to point out to you and he uses them on public school students. yep, dullsie's great wit and intellect are wasted on children whom he's never above demeaning to anyone who'll listen. so be careful because he's the spelling cop here at bs.com. he's also got a chip on his shoulder the size of gibralter from his failed ambitions and the fact that the only people who seek his approval are online groupies consisting mostly of middle-aged men and women who don't see his barbs for the cruel jabs that they are until after they've been burnt (but boy-oh-boy can some of them turn and burn right back!). and watch out because dullpup has new friends like mutt_b who're glad to leap on the bandwagon and bash someone in a pathetic search for approval from someone, anyone, please.
now don't forget that we have plenty of folks here who like to practice their own forms of discretion involving doors, closets, etc. so if you like to float on a higher cloud than most and hold folks to a higher standard than you hold yourself and talk down to people, come on in! some of them are even writers and interviewers here at bs.com. by reading their work you can see that we're not particular about spelling and or grammar or facts here, so anyone can be a columnist and delete the posts of others that they don't like!
if you're an ambitious nobody who's convinced that they are going places, bs.com is the perfect place to hitch your wagon to a star, or at least to someone who might possibly be somebody that knows somebody who can kinda do something to help your career, maybe. if not, what the heck, you've practiced your fawning skills and that's the true spirit of bs.com! those youngsters among you who are just starting out, come on out and show your elders how arrogant youth truly can be. see if you too can offend someone who works in your intended field and who holds grudges.
we also want to mention that we're open to political discourse here at bs.com as long as you're willing to ignore facts, report speculation and heresay as absolute truth and demonize anyone who doesn't agree with you. practice up on the words homophobe, racist, redneck and the like as you'll be required to draw them at will rather than support your own views. remember, if you disagree with someone it's better to attack the person than the view that way it's easier to ignore any basis in reality that their opinions might have.
that's pretty much a summary of our lives here folks, save for them that like to groom the young 'uns around here while maintaining that they are merely supporting them. yep, there's nothing like watching a few old codgers mix it up with some underage kids bouncing full of hormones. better than a confessional around junior high dance time.
well, that's all for this time, kids! join us for the next trip when we discuss the what why and how of thread deletion! toodles...
r.i.p. marco, my guardian angel.
...global warming can manifest itself as heat, cool, precipitation, storms, drought, wind, or any other phenomenon, much like a shapeshifter. -- jim geraghty
pray to st. jude
i'm a sonic reducer
he was the gimmicky sort
fenchurch=mejusthavingfun=magwildwood=mmousefan=bkcollector=bradmajors=somethingtotalkabout: the fenchurch mpd collective
...global warming can manifest itself as heat, cool, precipitation, storms, drought, wind, or any other phenomenon, much like a shapeshifter. -- jim geraghty
pray to st. jude
i'm a sonic reducer
he was the gimmicky sort
fenchurch=mejusthavingfun=magwildwood=mmousefan=bkcollector=bradmajors=somethingtotalkabout: the fenchurch mpd collective
Updated On: 7/7/04 at 02:30 PM
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