why you gotta be hatin' on the banana guard?

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why you gotta be hatin' on the banana guard?

Posted: 11/15/06 at 3:59pm

Are you fed up with bringing bananas to work or school only to find them bruised and squashed? Our unique, patented device allows for the safe transport and storage of individual bananas letting you enjoy perfect bananas anytime, anywhere.
The Banana Guard was specially designed to fit the vast majority of bananas. Its other features include multiple small perforations to facilitate ventilation thereby preventing premature ripening and a sturdy locking mechanism to keep the Banana Guard closed. The Banana Guard is of course dishwasher safe for easy cleaning.

The Banana Guard currently comes in 5 colours, available online:
Ravishing Red
Mellow Yellow
Sublime Green
Brilliant Blue
Passionate Purple

it's real, yo.

XING
PED

Updated On: 11/15/06 at 03:59 PM

re: why you gotta be hatin' on the banana guard?

Posted: 11/15/06 at 4:00pm

it was deleted? ha!

Have I ever shown you my Shattered Dreams box? It's in my Disappointment Closet. - Marge Simpson

re: why you gotta be hatin' on the banana guard?

Posted: 11/15/06 at 4:00pm

What happens if you put it in the dryer?

re: why you gotta be hatin' on the banana guard?

Posted: 11/15/06 at 4:02pm

for the love of creatures great and small, this has nothing to do with dryer balls (an equally best/worst invention and equally controversial, apparently).

XING
PED

re: why you gotta be hatin' on the banana guard?

Posted: 11/15/06 at 4:03pm

(Snickers) (ROTFLMAO)

re: why you gotta be hatin' on the banana guard?

Posted: 11/15/06 at 4:05pm

doesn't it just figure that the ONLY place this product is sold in the US is in louisiana.
the south will rise again!

XING
PED

re: why you gotta be hatin' on the banana guard?

Posted: 11/15/06 at 4:06pm

I think the problem might be the racist overtones of featuring the yellow so prominently while relegating the other colors to pickle-sized proportions. The Eskimo, Irish, Native American and People-Eating populations (I belong to two of those, by the way) are not amused.

Updated On: 11/15/06 at 04:06 PM

re: why you gotta be hatin' on the banana guard?

Posted: 11/15/06 at 4:07pm

the FAQ's are quite helpful. for example:

Q: "Is there a battery attachment?"

A: No. The Banana Guard was designed for its intended purpose only as a device to prevent banana trauma during transport.

Q: "Not all bananas are the same size or shape, so how can the Banana Guard fit them all?"

A: The Banana Guard was specially designed to accommodate the majority of banana sizes. Our testing indicates that over 90% of commercially available bananas will fit into the Banana Guard. Highly curved bananas can be straightened ever-so-slightly without harm to fit the Banana Guard shape. The opposite holds true of very straight bananas.

is there a battery attachment? what about MY banana?

XING
PED

Updated On: 11/15/06 at 04:07 PM

re: why you gotta be hatin' on the banana guard?

Posted: 11/15/06 at 4:14pm

OMG. You have to click on the media buzz within Robb's link.

Hey Dottie! Did your colleagues enjoy the cake even though your cat decided to sit on it? ~GuyfromGermany

#10

re: why you gotta be hatin' on the banana guard?

Posted: 11/15/06 at 4:18pm

"Yes, that's a (well protected) banana in my bag."

"Carson has combined his passion for helping children with his love for one of Cincinnati's favorite past times - cornhole - to create a unique and exciting event perfect for a corporate outing, entertaining clients or family fun."

"In Oz, the verb is douchifizzation." PRS

#11

re: why you gotta be hatin' on the banana guard?

Posted: 11/15/06 at 4:23pm

That's weird. Mine uses a battery.

Hmmm.

Have I ever shown you my Shattered Dreams box? It's in my Disappointment Closet. - Marge Simpson

#12

re: why you gotta be hatin' on the banana guard?

Posted: 11/15/06 at 4:24pm

there's even a media buzz addressing calvin's plantain concern.

XING
PED

#13

re: why you gotta be hatin' on the banana guard?

Posted: 11/15/06 at 4:29pm

Even the names of the colors sound dirty. "Ravishing Red" "Passionate Purple."

"You know, with the right volume, Patti LuPone can make a car bounce, too...." -Wonderwaiter

#14

re: why you gotta be hatin' on the banana guard?

Posted: 11/15/06 at 4:30pm

Mine is Lesbian Lavender.

Have I ever shown you my Shattered Dreams box? It's in my Disappointment Closet. - Marge Simpson

#15

re: why you gotta be hatin' on the banana guard?

Posted: 11/15/06 at 4:33pm

Those are great and all, but I don't think they are big enough for my plantain.

#16

re: why you gotta be hatin' on the banana guard?

Posted: 11/15/06 at 4:35pm

"Highly curved bananas can be straightened ever-so-slightly without harm to fit the Banana Guard shape. "

I wish they'd had this when I was with the last bf.

#17

re: why you gotta be hatin' on the banana guard?

Posted: 11/15/06 at 4:52pm

Oh thank you all so very much! I have been VERY sensitive about my Banana- I won't say why, but let me just say, I dreaded pulling it out of my lunchbag all through school! And NOW, we have the "Bananagaurd" saying that 90% of all bananas are a certain size and shape! Well, my banana WILL NOT FIT YOUR BANANAGUARD, even if I use the battery powered version!

I will no doubt cry myself to sleep tonight.

#18

re: why you gotta be hatin' on the banana guard?

Posted: 11/15/06 at 4:56pm

Now I know what I'm giving out as Christmas gifts!

Hey Dottie! Did your colleagues enjoy the cake even though your cat decided to sit on it? ~GuyfromGermany

#19

re: why you gotta be hatin' on the banana guard?

Posted: 11/15/06 at 4:59pm

Stop with the privates! Here, here is my sad banana! Mock me if you must!

#20

re: why you gotta be hatin' on the banana guard?

Posted: 11/15/06 at 5:02pm

It's siamese.

Hey Dottie! Did your colleagues enjoy the cake even though your cat decided to sit on it? ~GuyfromGermany

#21

re: why you gotta be hatin' on the banana guard?

Posted: 11/15/06 at 5:06pm

If it had a hole in one end, it might hold my banana.

"TheatreDiva90016 - another good reason to frequent these boards less."<<>> “I hesitate to give this line of discussion the validation it so desperately craves by perpetuating it, but the light from logic is getting further and further away with your every successive post.” <<>> -whatever2

#22

re: why you gotta be hatin' on the banana guard?

Posted: 11/15/06 at 5:10pm

Don't worry Joe, I'll surely make you an EXTRA BIG banana guard.

I wouldn't want your big banana to get hurt.

"How bout a little black dress?"~hannahshule "I have a penis, not a vagina." ~munkustrap178

#23

re: why you gotta be hatin' on the banana guard?

Posted: 11/15/06 at 5:14pm

I'm just curious, why would Wallingford Bicycle Parts carry such a thing?

Can't wait for the infomercial.

Hey Dottie! Did your colleagues enjoy the cake even though your cat decided to sit on it? ~GuyfromGermany

Updated On: 11/15/06 at 05:14 PM

#24

re: why you gotta be hatin' on the banana guard?

Posted: 11/15/06 at 7:52pm

you're riding cross country on a bike trip. you go to pull out your banana from your backpack and notice that it is smashed from when that car hit you going 60 mph on the pacific coast highway.

now, just imagine that same scenario if you had a banana guard. sure, you're still in the hospital with a concussion, broken leg, torn rotator cuff and a cut lip, but your banana is safe and sound.

thank you doctor zismore!

XING
PED

#25

re: why you gotta be hatin' on the banana guard?

Posted: 11/15/06 at 8:03pm

Thanks, RobbO, that explains everything.

I'd like to use the cast from the Magic Bullet infomercial for the Banana Guard. I think they'd be perfect.

Lady with Cigarette: Well wear do the batteries go?

Slutty Blond Hostess: No silly, no batteries are needed. It's a banana guard.

Hey Dottie! Did your colleagues enjoy the cake even though your cat decided to sit on it? ~GuyfromGermany

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