Best Broadway Quote- Page 2

[BrdwyBnd2005]

Posted: 8/16/05 at 5:27am

Wicked- Well we all can't come and go by BUBBLE!!
The Producers-Ulla: ... and at 11-Sex! What time should I get here?
Boys: ELEVEN!!!

[elphieisperky]

Posted: 8/16/05 at 7:48am

Glinda-I'm worried about Fieyro. He's been thinking.
Fieyro-I've been thinking.
Elphaba-Yeah, I heard. -Wicked

"Magic can happen anywhere,
I knew this guy at camp who ate his t-shirt, on a dare.
My hotel gives away free shampoo,
Nothing is too wonderful to be true." -DRS

"Forget, regret. Or life is yours to miss." -Rent

"Sometimes God grants your heart's desires,
Once I was caller number eight, I won a set of tires.
They held up that midget with Krazy Glue.
Nothing is too wonderful to be true." -DRS

Roger-Cold hands.
Mimi-Yours too. Big. Like my father's. You wanna dance?
Roger-With you?
Mimi-No. With my father. -Rent


Updated On: 8/16/05 at 07:48 AM

[Unknown User]

Posted: 8/16/05 at 8:20am

In the dressing room of the latest revival of 'Hello DOlly', Carol Channing was sitting in the stall...and these words emitted from behind the stall...(and it has me laughing til today,....I consider it the best broadway quote ever).....

"Corn?? Now when did I ever have corn?"

--------------

enjoy.

[NYAgent]

Posted: 8/16/05 at 8:35am

From Gentlemen Prefer Blondes-

"The one you call your daddy ain't your pa."

[bella cantato]

Posted: 8/16/05 at 9:59am

I LOVED that line from DRS-- (does anyone know the whole thing?) but I only remember the jist of it-- Sherie is like "Well, I'm the second child... I was born in March... How about 7?" (I know that I got that totally wrong, but it was something along those lines.)

[Patronus]

Posted: 8/16/05 at 10:08am

It seems that even though it's asking for the best Broadway quote that it has actually turned into funniest broadway quote, because there are some great "dramatic" lines out there too.

"I just want someone to love me...FOR MY MONEY!!!" - "Great Big Stuff", from Dirty Rotten Scoundrels

This is technically an "off-broadway" quote, but I figured it was fair game.

"If your mother and your brother had "relations" with each other and father was connected to the Gotti clan I'd say...Well, nobodys perfect." - "Shiksa Goddess", from The Last Five Years.

[Unknown User]

Posted: 8/16/05 at 10:48am

"I could buy you a pencil!"
"A pencil?"
"They sell these big pencils... I don't know." --Greg Jbara and John Lithgow in DRS

that lines great

[Dre2387]

Posted: 8/16/05 at 11:46am

I LOVE THAT ONE FROM DRS!! So good! oh, and I think the sherie quote is:

I'm the second oldest, I was born in July, I'm a member of the omega (something),...how about 4? ~DRS~

[SorryGrateful]

Posted: 8/16/05 at 11:56am

I TOTALLY agree with ozboy on "I was raised to be charming, not sincere." That one is a classic.

[Gooch]

Posted: 8/16/05 at 5:20pm

LIfe's a banquet and most poor sons of bitches are starving to death.

MAME

[jasonf]

Posted: 8/16/05 at 5:38pm

I have to say, "I was raised to be charming, not sincere" was the first line that popped into my head. I've watched that video dozens of times and I still laugh at it.

I also love the line in Pippin:
"Lewis loves weightlifting. Lewis loves wrestling. But most of all, Lewis looooooooooves Lewis!"

If we're talking just spoken lines, I also have to add:
"Maybe it's genetic. They don't have bobsleds in San Juan."

For a serious line:
"There was a cabaret. And there was a master of ceremonies. There was a city called Berlin in a country called Germany. It was the end of the world. And I was dancing with Sally Bowles. And we were both fast asleep." Gives me chills every time - even now as I wrote it.

[stagebeauty]

Posted: 8/16/05 at 7:42pm

"I'm through accepting limits 'cuz someone says theyre so
Some things I cannot change, but 'till I try I'll never know"

[Firefly]

Posted: 8/17/05 at 10:07am

I've always liked:

"Talking to you is like sending out your laundry - you never know what the hell is coming back" (They're Playing Our Song)

[worrell4077]

Posted: 8/17/05 at 11:48am

SpamAlot:
"I said England"
"I'm the king of Norway, now piss off"
"I'll join the navy, for the Tooth Fairy"
"Kneel:Tim Curry, Dennis:Chris Sieber, Kneel, Dennis:Tim Curry"
"Why are we called the middle ages, if nothing came before us?
"This is the castle of my master, Guy Di Lomibard. The French B@$%@#$."

The Producers:
"Who do you have to f$&# to get a break in this town?"
"There is alot more to me than there is to me. Stop the World, I want to get on!"(my senior quote)
"Not many people knew it, but the furor was descend from a long line of English Queens."

All Shook Up
"I've been with alot of women, alot of women."
"It's making a jiggly wiggly sound"
"And I'm in love with Ed"
"But I really liked Ed"
"Maybe once and awhile, you can put the stuff on and we can both spend time with Ed."
________________________________________________________________
"Somebody blows their nose and you wanna keep it."
-Ghostbusters

[jasonf]

Posted: 8/17/05 at 11:51am

Good call on those ASU quotes. God, that show was funny.

[bwayrunner22]

Posted: 8/17/05 at 12:06pm

I gotta second the
"We can't all come and go by BUBBLE"

and

Glinda-"I'm worried about Fieyro. He's been thinking."
Fieyro-"I've been thinking."
Elphaba-"Yeah, I heard."

[Hairspraydoll]

Posted: 8/18/05 at 11:04pm

"Have a child for warmth, a baker for bread, and a prince for...whatever"

"You can talk to birds"

I second the charming line!
Into the Woods

"Some girls you marry, some you love"
"Our lives become the stories that we weave"
"Life is why we tell the story"
Once On This Island

"I'll eat some breakfast and change the world" Hairspray

It's not a quote really but in Miss Saigon when Kim says it's what all the girls sing at their weddings and Chris bolts up with surprise. It's hilarious. Then she says "They didn't know what else to sing."

[Sumofallthings]

Posted: 8/18/05 at 11:39pm

"Lewis is an asshole my lady!" -Pippin

Sooooo many from Urinetown!

"Where's your husband?" "He's in the woods, reversing a spell" "Oh really?" -Into the Woods performed perfectly by Joanna Gleason

[colleen_lee]

Posted: 8/18/05 at 11:52pm

Dwarves are very upsetting.

[BroadwayBaby315]

Posted: 8/18/05 at 11:57pm

Definitely some of the funniest lines on Broadway:

Producers- After "Der Guten Tag Hop-Clop"... Carmen Ghia says to Max and Leo (something to the effect of) "May I take your hats... your coats... your swastikas

Avenue Q- "I know! Put my earmuffs on the cookie"
^idk... it always strikes my funny

[PrincessKate]

Posted: 8/19/05 at 12:03am

"To love another person is to see the face of god"-Les Mis

Although, I really laughed with: "Glinda...the GA is silent"-Wicked

[TabooPhan1]

Posted: 8/19/05 at 1:14am

Taboo: "Let's be serious for a moment (holds up mirror to man's face), would you let you in?"

And not from a musical, but from Harvey Fierstein's "Torch Song Trilogy":

Arnold: Oops? Did you say 'Oops', Ed? No, Ed. 'Oops' is when you fall down an elevator shaft. 'Oops' is when you go skinny dipping in a school of pirhana. 'Oops' is when you accidentally douche with drano. No, Ed, this was not an 'Oops'. This was a (strangled scream)

Love that quote :)

[itsmeeeee]

Posted: 8/19/05 at 2:36am

I dont see why you can't just teach us history, instead of all this harping on the past. -Galinda

[muscle23ftl]

Posted: 8/19/05 at 2:41am

"To be in love is the sweetiest thing...but to risk everything for love, is even sweeter!" -Kiss of the Spider Woman-

[muscle23ftl]

Posted: 8/19/05 at 2:42am

"Shut up Im rich not some platinum blond bitch"-Sunset Blvd.-