Giving celebs their privacy — Page 2

I'm a big believer in respecting everyone's privacy, including celebrities.

However, there's such a thing as overcompensation. People sitting next to each other at shows often enjoy polite pre-show and intermission conversation. Initiating these conversations usually isn't considered an intrusion.

I recently sat between two very nice women at Sweeney Todd at the Philharmonic. The fact that the lady to my right was completely unknown to me before the show didn't stop me from having a very enjoyable conversation with her. The fact that the lady to my left happened to be Barbara Cook didn't stop me from having a very enjoyable conversation with her.

By the way in each case, it was the ladies who started talking to me. The lady to my right about how excited she was to be there before the show; the lady to my left about how fantastic she thought the performance was. But it could have easily been me who initiated these chats. Just as it wasn't impolite for Barbara Cook to engage me in friendly conversation, it wouldn't have been impolite for me to do the same to her. Nor did I feel under any compunction to speak to her as if I had no idea who she was or how much she meant to me as an artist.

We who have the privilege of relative anonymity don't pay for it with a speak-only-when-spoken to yoke In the presence of the famous.

In this respect at least, we still live in a democracy.

Updated On: 4/21/14 at 08:32 AM

Jane2, I am saddened to read your story and that Ms Hunt was such a...

You were not in the wrong at all. There was absolutely no reason for her behavior.

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Sounds like Hunt was the one having a bad day.

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I don't think there is anything wrong with briefly acknowledging a celebrity, and telling him or her that you're a fan. It's not something I've ever made a habit of personally, but to me, it seems as intrusive as complimenting a stranger on her shoes. That said, there is a right time and place for everything. I wouldn't advocate walking up to someone eating dinner.

What one shouldn't do is try to is ingratiate himself or herself, or overstay welcome. Just say hello, offer a compliment, ask for a handshake--whatever--and move on.

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Updated On: 4/21/14 at 11:37 AM

The first time I saw "The Book of Mormon", I saw people pointing at the guy in the seat next to me, discreetly looked and realized it was Tobey Maguire. I don't want to bother famous people, so I didn't say anything to him, which was fine--we were both there to see the play.

I also saw the last performance of the recent revival of "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf". Shortly before it started, people started applauding and I realized that Edward Albee, looking very frail and using a cane, was walking slowly down the aisle on the arm of a friend or relative. Albee was seated on the aisle, and during the intermission there was a long line of people waiting to speak with him or get his autograph, to the point that the poor man had to leave his seat in order to avoid them, although he returned shortly before the second act. By the look on his face, he obviously did not want to have these encounters, so I don't know why people didn't just leave him alone.

Updated On: 4/21/14 at 12:10 PM

In 2001 at a performance of The Fantasticks my mother and I were asked by the ushers if we would mind moving from our aisle seats near the exit to a more central location - there was a couple with a child who wanted to be near the door in case the child got fussy. Given that the theater was the size of my living room I didn't mind at all. During intermission, as we got up to head to the restroom, my mother said to me in a hushed but nervous voice, "Don't turn around - DON'T TURN AROUND - Bill Murray is right behind you!" She was petrified to be near him but I said hello and he was friendly.

My aunt was upset that she wasn't with me when I ran into Liev Schreiber walking his dogs one night.

Updated On: 4/21/14 at 12:43 PM

I became a "celebrity" for a short time. I had made a commercial which became pretty popular on tv. People would stop me in the street or wherever I went to ask about it. When I was working in the theater, audience members would call out to me before the show to ask about it. I was even stopped in a snowstorm at night, with a heavy jacket and hood on, by a person who recognized me. And worst of all, I had a stalker. They emailed me, or posted on Facebook, I forget, and listed every acting job I ever had, and where I was the day before.

I knew then that I'd never want to become a celeb because I hated it. I'm not cut out for that life. So, I can understand how some real celebrities feel about recognition.

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lol Marianne, here's a good one, related to this. I was an extra on a film, and at one point, a PA took us all to the side to tell us "Martin doesn't allow any eye contact with him." So I said out loud, "Who's Martin?" HAHAHA

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June2, I've done some background extra work, as well. The casting company always posts, and tells you directly, as do the PA's wrangling the extras, "please don't take photos on set, please don't ask for autographs, please don't talk to the actors. They are working on their lines and are here to do a job. We are ALL here to do a job."

Seems self-explanatory enough, so anyone who thinks about doing it--just err on the side of...not. Whether you are a first-timer just exploring the coolness of being on set, or more experienced, we are expected to behave professionally or they send you home. That said, you sound like you were actually cast in some small on-camera roles, or you wouldn't have been within speaking distance of that actress. If you were hired to have a speaking role, you are on her level (i.e., there isn't the disparity between "big star principle actor" vs. "extra"). She should have been nicer to you...on so many levels.

Some of my favorite experiences include background on "Dark Knight," positioned in our cluster of "journalists," 10 feet away from Heath Ledger the entire night. He literally watched everything, in between takes. He watched us watching him, even. Truly. It sounds trite because he's gone now, but everything director Chris Nolan wrote about him after his passing seemed apparent just from observing that energy in him--that he was curious about his environment and what was going on around him. He even apparently came to set one day on his day off, just to sit in the camera car with Nolan to see the other side of the camera while filming a chase scene. The director even wrote at the time that another night, he and another actor kept going, take after take, and they finally found a groove even though it was getting late, and they requested to keep shooting til they got it right. Later, Ledger went around to all the crew and thanked them individually for staying late. (I was not there that day, and don't know the scene, to be clear.) Reading that, it confirmed that my impression that he basically seemed like a nice, unpretentious, hard-working actor...was correct, even in the eyes of his director. Good stuff.

I've also been in close range of many actors on the set of "Chicago Fire" the last two seasons, and David Eigenberg and Christian Stolte are just the sweetest. We were even seated at lunch in holding, right behind the actors, who ate with us, and I unwittingly sat across from the director that day, because a bunch of them had plopped down where we extras had put our belongings before being called to set. I cheerfully said, as a few of us were sitting back down, "oh, do you mind if we sit back down, here?" She quipped, "that depends, who are you, and are you a SPY?!? Of course!" Very nice and funny.

On set, I have NOT spoken to them without being spoken to, as we're often being directed to cross here, cross there, and have to do our jobs. One day, I had to cross in front of Stolte in a very snug spot at "Molly's bar," and he kept gesturing back like a gentleman, kindly saying "oh, excuse me" just because I had to get past him to keep resetting back to mark #1. (I wanted to say "excuse YOU? Excuse ME, hard-working actor-man!" But hey, they're human too, and just being nice.) Eigenberg was clowning around in a "disaster scene" once, last season, on a very cold day during which we were all outside several hours. Eye contact, big smile, goofy interactive demeanor, pretending to throw chairs around between takes. You HAD to react to him, lest you get hit, but it was pretty funny and you just smiled, you know? But it's not an invitation to become chatty buddies with them. They're just blowing off steam between takes and are suffering in the cold--with equipment to shlep and lines to remember--working, same as everyone.

It's fun though. I always say I highly recommend everyone do a background gig at least once in their lives!

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"I also saw the last performance of the recent revival of "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf". Shortly before it started, people started applauding and I realized that Edward Albee, looking very frail and using a cane, was walking slowly down the aisle on the arm of a friend or relative. Albee was seated on the aisle, and during the intermission there was a long line of people waiting to speak with him or get his autograph, to the point that the poor man had to leave his seat in order to avoid them, although he returned shortly before the second act. By the look on his face, he obviously did not want to have these encounters, so I don't know why people didn't just leave him alone."

we saw Albee at a Boston performance of Virginia Woolf and he was happy to sign our Playbill, but we were the only ones who recognized him. At "Me, Myself and I" (Playwrite Horizons) at one of the later previews we also recognized him (not hard to recognize him, plus he had a huge book he was taking notes in). We went up to him afterwards to tell him we liked the show, but he denied being himself.

As we were walking away, though, he did ask "but you enjoyed it?"

"June2, I've done some background extra work, as well. The casting company always posts, and tells you directly, as do the PA's wrangling the extras, "please don't take photos on set, please don't ask for autographs, please don't talk to the actors. They are working on their lines and are here to do a job. We are ALL here to do a job."

Oh hon, thanks for that info, but of course I'm well aware of it all. I had no interest in taking a picture or looking at or talking to a principe on set. Well, of course it was different on SATC where Kim was friendly with me - she took a liking to me and even gave me gifts!

The reason I made that last post about "who's Martin? was that here's a relatively little known actor (Martin Donovan) playing the diva, Well, 'i thought it was funny anyway!

Lovepuppy, I'm glad that you enjoyed extra work. I loathed it. I can't think of a more boring way to spend time. And the condescension - oy.

Just call me Jane, lol.

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I saw Hugh Jackman at a matinee of WAITING FOR GODOT the day before Thanksgiving. He was standing in the back at intermission talking to a little boy and I couldn't get up the courage to say hello to him, just because I didn't want to cause a scene. Although, when he brushed past me on his way to the bathroom later, I started screaming and fangirling on the inside.

Fun Fact: I only had recognized him because A) I heard an Australian accent and B) He still had the bandage on high nose from when he had skin cancer removed. His t-shirt was also tight as holy hell...*swoon*

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It's not something I've ever made a habit of personally, but to me, it seems as intrusive as complimenting a stranger on her shoes.

I've complimented strangers on their attire and I've had people do the same to me. I don't think paying a compliment can ever be seen as "intrusive". Once at the Sondheim I had a young woman tell me I was "adorable". Who doesn't want to hear that from time to time?

In regards to celebs I think it's fine if you're in a public place and they're not eating or conversing with someone else. Just be polite and know when to leave. I once ran into a singer I know at a concert and he said "well, it was nice talking to you" twice before I caught on that he was actually saying "go away". Oops lol

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