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Joyful Noise reviews- Not so joyful

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#2

Joyful Noise reviews- Not so joyful

Posted: 1/13/12 at 8:40am


I saw this abortion. Scanning the aggregate at Rotten Tomates, I'm surprised by how kind even some of the negative reviews have been.


CHURCH DOOR TOUCAN GAY MARKETING PUPPIES MUSICAL THEATER STAPLES PERIOD OIL BITCHY SNARK HOLES

Updated On: 1/13/12 at 08:40 AM

#4

Joyful Noise reviews- Not so joyful

Posted: 1/13/12 at 9:06am


And pertaining to local interest, I'd say "poor Jeremy Jordan" if I thought he might register with audiences who aren't familiar with his theater experience, but he won't, and also I won't say "poor Jeremy Jordan" because his performance is pretty well beyond embarrassing, but I still might say "poor Jeremy Jordan" because I can't imagine even an extraordinarily gifted actor making what's required of him anything but embarrassing. The only person who comes away with dignity intact, as some critics have mentioned, is Queen Latifah, who I think is usually perfectly fine but not much else. Dolly Parton looks like she's being kept alive and animated by a really big battery somewhere off-camera.
CHURCH DOOR TOUCAN GAY MARKETING PUPPIES MUSICAL THEATER STAPLES PERIOD OIL BITCHY SNARK HOLES
#5

Joyful Noise reviews- Not so joyful

Posted: 1/13/12 at 9:19am

Quite a few of the reviews i resd pulled Jordan out as a bright point in the film
Namo i love u but we get it already....you don't like Madonna
#6

Joyful Noise reviews- Not so joyful

Posted: 1/13/12 at 9:34am


That's both surprising and unsurprising. He's not the worst thing about it. That award would go to the writer/director and most of the other supporting cast before him. But if you offered me either a dead cat or a dead cat filled with poop, I'd take empty one, though I certainly couldn't go around telling people it's not a dead cat just because it's not filled with poop.

As I say, he doesn't make it work. He doesn't even come close. But I don't know how he could have. It's cringe-cringe-cringeworthy stuff.

If the movie has a bright spot -- and I'm not sure it does -- it's either QL, as noted, or the way the unabashedly absurd climactic gospel competition is filmed like a BET special after three speedballs.
CHURCH DOOR TOUCAN GAY MARKETING PUPPIES MUSICAL THEATER STAPLES PERIOD OIL BITCHY SNARK HOLES
#8

Joyful Noise reviews- Not so joyful

Posted: 1/13/12 at 9:42am


It could only aspire to such dizzy heights.
CHURCH DOOR TOUCAN GAY MARKETING PUPPIES MUSICAL THEATER STAPLES PERIOD OIL BITCHY SNARK HOLES
#9

Joyful Noise reviews- Not so joyful

Posted: 1/13/12 at 9:42am

I'm going with friends tonight and can't wait. Is it at least campy fun as the trailer indicates, or is it painfully boring?
Marie: Don't be in such a hurry about that pretty little chippy in Frisco. Tony: Eh, she's a no chip!
#10

Joyful Noise reviews- Not so joyful

Posted: 1/13/12 at 9:51am

Hey mysterious! Which reviews are you reading? Jeremy Jordan has gotten pretty good reviews from what I've read.
#11

Joyful Noise reviews- Not so joyful

Posted: 1/13/12 at 9:52am

I love me some Dolly, but that face was not made for HD.
"The sexual energy between the mother and son really concerns me!"-random woman behind me at Next to Normal "I want to meet him after and bang him!"-random woman who exposed her breasts at Rock of Ages, referring to James Carpinello
#12

Joyful Noise reviews- Not so joyful

Posted: 1/13/12 at 9:52am


Personally, for me, those two things are sometimes -- though not always -- mutually inclusive. I may have found two minutes of campy fun in there somewhere, but it wore off so quickly and left such a bad aftertaste, I can't say it did much to improve the overall experience. If anything, it made me hyperaware of how tedious the rest of it was. But if bright! lights! no! logic! bad! dialogue! loud! gospel! rhythmic! clapping! cliched! aphorisms! can jell into campy fun for you, you may find refuge here.
CHURCH DOOR TOUCAN GAY MARKETING PUPPIES MUSICAL THEATER STAPLES PERIOD OIL BITCHY SNARK HOLES
#14

Joyful Noise reviews- Not so joyful

Posted: 1/13/12 at 9:54am


Umm... I don't think I've read any full reviews. I scanned the capsules at Rotten Tomatoes and didn't recall seeing his name there, though I could be mistaken. I'm just giving my own opinion.
CHURCH DOOR TOUCAN GAY MARKETING PUPPIES MUSICAL THEATER STAPLES PERIOD OIL BITCHY SNARK HOLES
#15

Joyful Noise reviews- Not so joyful

Posted: 1/13/12 at 9:56am


She does. She's burlap underneath.
CHURCH DOOR TOUCAN GAY MARKETING PUPPIES MUSICAL THEATER STAPLES PERIOD OIL BITCHY SNARK HOLES
#16

Joyful Noise reviews- Not so joyful

Posted: 1/13/12 at 9:59am

Ha- well your reviews are making me laugh at least. I've been dying to see this for months (along with One for the Money and The Vow) to complete a trifecta of bad Jan/Feb movies.

I'll post my thoughts when I get home tonight.
Marie: Don't be in such a hurry about that pretty little chippy in Frisco. Tony: Eh, she's a no chip!
#17

Joyful Noise reviews- Not so joyful

Posted: 1/13/12 at 10:01am

My late uncle used to tell this joke:

Q:Why hasn't Dolly Parton gone topless in any of her films?

A:Because they'd flop!

The review for the film here was very positive, essentially saying its breezy entertainment, nothing more, nothing less. I don't think the film is pretending to be anything more than light fare.
"The sexual energy between the mother and son really concerns me!"-random woman behind me at Next to Normal "I want to meet him after and bang him!"-random woman who exposed her breasts at Rock of Ages, referring to James Carpinello
#18

Joyful Noise reviews- Not so joyful

Posted: 1/13/12 at 10:06am


99.9% of the time, I prefer something substantial over something light, but I recognize that as my personal preference. What's bad about this movie isn't that it's light fare. What's bad about it is that it's bad. And that said, no, I don't think it's been misrepresented.
CHURCH DOOR TOUCAN GAY MARKETING PUPPIES MUSICAL THEATER STAPLES PERIOD OIL BITCHY SNARK HOLES
#19

Joyful Noise reviews- Not so joyful

Posted: 1/13/12 at 12:12pm

Audiences seem to love it! That's really all the matters! Most of the time, when people go to movies, they just want to be entertained...and this is what this movie does!
#20

Joyful Noise reviews- Not so joyful

Posted: 1/13/12 at 12:37pm


That's weird. It didn't entertain me. Huh. Weird.

But you're right. That's definitely all that matters.
CHURCH DOOR TOUCAN GAY MARKETING PUPPIES MUSICAL THEATER STAPLES PERIOD OIL BITCHY SNARK HOLES
#21

Joyful Noise reviews- Not so joyful

Posted: 1/13/12 at 12:41pm

^^I just posted your line about Dolly Parton and the battery on twitter thanks to you making me laugh for a good 4 mins straight. My muscles hurt from working out but that was a good laugh.
#22

Joyful Noise reviews- Not so joyful

Posted: 1/13/12 at 1:09pm

i think it's funny that when you go to the Joyful Noise page on Rottentomatoes.com, it shows that Jeremy Jordan is the OTHER Jeremy Jordan!!! picture and film credits!!! HA!
#23

Joyful Noise reviews- Not so joyful

Posted: 1/13/12 at 2:10pm

There is also a Jeremy Jodran gay adult film actor. This is going to get confusing, especially for the tweens.
"The sexual energy between the mother and son really concerns me!"-random woman behind me at Next to Normal "I want to meet him after and bang him!"-random woman who exposed her breasts at Rock of Ages, referring to James Carpinello

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