Mentally Impaired Audience Members- Page 7

[Magical_Ms._Mistoffeles_72]

Posted: 2/7/08 at 1:08am

When ANYONE goes to a show, it is expected that you should have some sort of theatre etiquette. This will be blunt (and politically incorrect sorry), but I do not want anyone around me talking!!!!!!! I don't care if you are mentally challenged, old and can't hear, 4 years old, a 10 year old who can't behave,never been to theatre before, or translating for the person next to you who doesnt fully understand english-SHUT UP!!!!! It is an unspoken rule. If you are mildly annoying-whatever, but if you are loud and disruptive that is absolutely NOT acceptable.

You need an anger management class or something. I too agree that there are theatre edicate(sp?) rules, but maybe if you expressed them a little more nicely, those who can control thier impulses to talk etc will listen to you. Just a thought.


I, like miss pennywise's daughter, suffer from Cerebral Palsy. I am one of lucky ones and can walk, talk, read, write, sing and dance, however long it takes me or weird it looks. I can do it if given the time and paitience.

Theatre is my life, and it has always been that way. However, I have had to deal with discrimination which I felt was unfair, but being so young, I didnt know what to do about it. Other than go home and cry, which didnt help any.

Everyone has the right to theatre, and maybe we need to make allowances for those of us who are so unfortunately inflicted with circumstances beyond our control, but everyone has the right. Maybe we should be like george and take certain patrons to an early show, but there has to be a way. I dont think the woman did anything wrong in taking the man to see a show, but I also dont think that the usher did anything wrong as the point of view of the other audience members is important as well. I sincerely hope they were only moved and that he continued to enjoy the show


Some of the people on this board make me sad. I dont even have words. Jane2, thank you. Im not really sure for what, but thank you for just being you. You make me smile :)

[miss pennywise]

Posted: 2/7/08 at 1:19am

Mistoffles, how wonderful and brave of you to share with everyone on this board that you have Cerebral Palsy. You were obviously raised by parents and caregivers who have helped you to grow up to be the kind-hearted, sensitive, accomplished young woman you are. It does my heart good when I read a post by someone as eloquent as you. I agree with everything you say and thank you for shining a bright light down onto this thread.

My daughter is discriminated against often, plus shoved to the ground, made fun of and laughed at. Among other things, she has a severe speech impairment and, because of it, she is often mocked by other kids her age...and older. It's a shame. Fortunately she has a disposition like yours: she does what she loves and refuses to let anyone stea her joie de vivre. I would be thrilled to have my daughter grow up to be like you. ,

More power to you!!!

[Magical_Ms._Mistoffeles_72]

Posted: 2/7/08 at 1:28am

pennywise-
thank you.

Unfortunately I have also been made fun of and shoved to the ground and often beaten to a pulp, eventually I took some classes and started defending myself. There are some people who will never see the light as to how humans like to be treated. We are all human and have hearts minds and feelings. I have often lost my cool and gotten angry to show people that. Fortunately for me, I had great friends who stuck up for me, great teachers who took the time to nurture me, and my mom who will always be my greatest hero, for having the courage to keep me when I wasnt planned and it was easy to give me away.

It looks as though your daughter has an amazing mother, shes a very lucky girl.

Thank you for the power, some days its needed :)

[KJisgroovy]

Posted: 2/7/08 at 1:29am

Please, don't snap at me... I'm not trying to be insensitive... I'm looking for a perspective...

When we went to see The Color Purple in Chicago, for which we paid full price, we sent in the middle of the orchestra... seated directly behind us was... I am only assuming... a mentally challenged man... through both acts... he moaned loudly... sung whatever song he liked... asked questions... spoke to his companion... all at full volume... often at key moments in the drama... at the climax of songs... it ruined the show. Completely. Everyone around us was talking about it at intermission. We were trapped between tolerance and... to be honest... complete disappointment.

What I want to know is... why... why should everyone else have to deal with that? Why should we shrug our shoulders and allow the experience to be ruined for us? So, one person can feel tolerated? One person can feel special?

If my tone is harsh... I don't mean it to be... I really am curious.

kmc

[Magical_Ms._Mistoffeles_72]

Posted: 2/7/08 at 1:35am

that is when you take it to the usher, and ask if there is a way they can nicely set it up so both parties can enjoy the show.

Im sure the man didnt realise how loudly he was speaking, or that it bothered you and the other patrons.

and no, we want to be treated like everyone else. Not as anyone special. Which means the right to a Broadway experience(or a touring one) should we so choose.

[miss pennywise]

Posted: 2/7/08 at 1:39am

You can ask to be moved. You can demand a ticket to another performance and leave. You can ask nicely for someone to please help keep his volume lower because it's distracting...all the things you could do if the person were NOT disabled.

I had two RUDE teenage girls sitting next to talking throughout the first act of a musical. I asked them to be quiet 5 or 6 times. At Intermission, my husband asked if I wanted to switch seats with him so he could "handle" them. He leaned past them and asked the adults they were with, "Are you their parents?" When the couple said "Yes," my husband said, "I have a ten-year-old and a five-year-old who know how to behave in the theatre better than your daughters. Their behavior has been abominable."

Watched the second act in complete silence.

[Magical_Ms._Mistoffeles_72]

Posted: 2/7/08 at 1:45am

yay for your husband! :)

[KJisgroovy]

Posted: 2/7/08 at 1:49am

"Im sure the man didnt realise how loudly he was speaking, or that it bothered you and the other patrons."

I'm sure he didn't either. That's not the question. I don't think anyone was mad at him... faulted him... resented him... anything like that.

"and no, we want to be treated like everyone else. Not as anyone special."

This is what I don't understand. This statement... obviously true in many contexts... but not so in this one. Being treated like everyone else means being ejected from the theater... being treated like everyone else means being yelled at... shushed... etc. Being treated like everyone else means that you are expected to be quiet... and not interfere with other patron's enjoyment of the show.

I am not trying to be mean... I really am looking for illumination...

"You can ask nicely for someone to please help keep his volume lower because it's distracting"

This was done. Many times. It was clear he could not control himself... which I do not think was his fault... I don't think he is a bad person... or less of a person... or less equal... he could not control himself.

"You can demand a ticket to another performance and leave."

So... you're seriously suggesting that three of the middle rows of the orchestra section... should just leave mid performance... go back to their cars... in parking spaces they paid 20 dollars for... drive home... re-schedule everything... do the whole thing over again in a week... so one person can disturb a performance in peace?

That, to me, sounds like special treatment to the extreme.

Updated On: 2/7/08 at 01:49 AM

[Magical_Ms._Mistoffeles_72]

Posted: 2/7/08 at 1:53am

I stand corrected
I apologise

[KJisgroovy]

Posted: 2/7/08 at 1:56am

PLEASE.
Don't be offended... I don't mean to. This incident has left me really conflicted... and I still don't know... many months later... how I should feel about the whole thing.

And I don't mean YOU should be ejected... I mean someone who disturbs a performance... any person.


kmc

[miss pennywise]

Posted: 2/7/08 at 1:57am

I can't even tell you how many times I have had to sit next to someone who did something obnoxious. My sister-in-law is French. I took her and my brother to see a show and she kept asking him to explain the jokes to her because she wasn't getting them. It was really embarrassing and annoying! But nobody around them (except me) complained. It didn't matter. She kept talking.

No other audience member said a thing or appoached an usher asking them to be quiet.

My point is: EVERYTHING IS A CHOICE. You can sit there are try to ignore it. You can try to be proactive and do something about it. You can decide to come back at another time and demand a refund. I've gone to shows only to find out the "star" was out so I traded my tickets for a night they'd be back.

Everything in life doesn't always go the way we want it to. We have to learn to accept that and be flexible. Most problems can be resolved if you just consider the options and go with one (or two or three). The result may not necessarily be what you'd wanted it to be, but that's life, ya know?

Updated On: 2/7/08 at 01:57 AM

[Magical_Ms._Mistoffeles_72]

Posted: 2/7/08 at 2:04am

I am not offended. You are choosing to be hard headed in my oppinion and I have nothing nice to say to you, so Im taking the easy way out and not saying anything at all

[LePetiteFromage]

Posted: 2/7/08 at 2:05am

Updated On: 5/8/09 at 02:05 AM

[KJisgroovy]

Posted: 2/7/08 at 2:06am

Pennywise- you're winning me over with your argument... but... this isn't just a THINGS HAPPEN sorta thing... it seemed as though this man couldn't control his actions... why should I just accept that it's ok for him to ruin my experience? Why shouldn't the house staff... or even this persons companion (though it seemed as though he was with a group of mentally impaired adults...all the rest of which were perfect auidience members!)or chaperone have the responsibility to solve the problem? Why is it my responsibility to solve the situation and talk to the house staff (which is part of the show I am missing) And obviously... we did sit through the performance... we "found a solution" but I thought the point of the thread was the concept of the situation... which is the right thing...

[blaxx]

Posted: 2/7/08 at 2:10am

Everything in life doesn't always go the way we want it to. We have to learn to accept that and be flexible. Most problems can be resolved if you just consider the options and go with one (or two or three). The result may not necessarily be what you'd wanted it to be, but that's life, ya know?

I was thinking the same things you were,KJ, but I think pennywise is right.
I started thinking...if I was at a movie theater and suddenly the sound is gone, then I have the choice to sit there and wait until someone fixes it or stand up and do something.
And why should it be different in a theater? I can be mad that I miss portions of the show, or just accept that paying the ticket does not guarantee a flawless experience, wherever that may be.

Updated On: 2/7/08 at 02:10 AM

[KJisgroovy]

Posted: 2/7/08 at 2:13am

Yea. I guess.
Except that... we're not talking about a technical problem... an unpreventable situation. To me... maybe... we are talking about the comfort of one person... versus the comfort of... what 50? The performers? Everyone in the theater?

kmc

[LePetiteFromage]

Posted: 2/7/08 at 2:15am

Updated On: 5/8/09 at 02:15 AM

[miss pennywise]

Posted: 2/7/08 at 2:16am

The theatre sets its policies and rules. If they let children under 5 in, then that's the rule. If they offer special seating to accommodate a handicapped person (which is a lovely thing to do BTW), that means they welcome people in wheelchairs into their theatre. If their policy is "If anyone wants to be a jerk to the other audience members, unless we are specifically asked to get involved, we stay out of it" then that's what you have to contend with. That's why it's sometimes better to take a proactive approach and say, "This doesn't work for me. I'm leaving." or "I demand a new seat."

I don't even understand the point of this thread. There are loud, obnoxious, drunk, smelly, food-chomping audience members ALL THE TIME and nothing is done about them! Why pick on developmentally challenged people? I don't get it.

Is this helping? I don't know. I'm tired.

Updated On: 2/7/08 at 02:16 AM

[KJisgroovy]

Posted: 2/7/08 at 2:21am

"They should be given the opportunity to see if they can make it through the show. "

Agreed. This man couldn't. He was not removed. He was not moved. My experience was ruined. I guess I should just deal with that? I don't think that's fair. Honestly. No ill intent meant.

"I don't even understand the point of this thread. There are loud, obnoxious, drunk, smelly, food-chomping audience members ALL THE TIME and nothing is done about them! "

And there are threads started about them all the time. All the time! How many "rude audience member" threads have there been?

[blaxx]

Posted: 2/7/08 at 2:25am

But that is just the specifics.
I truly doubt that someone who takes an individual with a disability into the theater
does it with the awareness that they will bother anyone. If their judgement is not the best - maybe, maybe not -, that is really just that - good or poor judgement - not everyone is the same. Maybe the person with the disability doesn't want to be there either. You can compare this to, for example, taking little children who sometimes misbehave, or sometimes not to a performance. Or bored teenagers.
I have just remembered many occasions when an audience member has to do something to stop something that prevents them from enjoying the show, and this is just a variation of any other situation.

Updated On: 2/7/08 at 02:25 AM

[marilynrita]

Posted: 2/7/08 at 2:25am

Wow. okay, I never intended for anyone to think i have anger issues or am against anyone seeing a show. I think people are putting words in my mouth, but perhaps that is my fault because maybe I wasn't clear enough.

In any show- people who make noise/talk/etc are annoying to me because I have a hard time tuning it out.Some people are good at it.I dont think everyone should be kicked out. What is the circumstance?

Obviously mentally handicapped people aren't doing it to be rude. Or children. I think it's great they are at the theatre. It's important. And I support your right to be there. I guess what everyone is debating on here is when does it get past the mildly annoying level and become disruptive to the audience and performers (someone was talking about Idinas concert and her distraction). I have no answer for that. It depends on the show. Is it a musical? Is it Inherit the Wind? Is it occasional noise or am I missing important parts of the show and dialogue because whoever is doing whatever? It's a tricky situation.

[LePetiteFromage]

Posted: 2/7/08 at 2:25am

Updated On: 5/8/09 at 02:25 AM

[miss pennywise]

Posted: 2/7/08 at 2:38am

My point above is...the theatre sets the rules. If ushers are instructed to remove anyone who is loud, then that's the rule and the usher should follow the theatre's policy. If the theatre says, "If someone gets loud and obnoxious, don't do anything until another patron complains." Then that's THEIR policy. If you go over to the house manager and say, "There are three women sitting next to me eating a large pizza that they're passing back and forth (true story BTW)! What are you going to do about it?" He'll do whatever the theatre policy dictates.

FAIR? Who told us life had to be fair? I don't think it's fair that I have to 120 bucks for a theatre ticket, especialy when I leave HATING the drivel I just sat through for 3 hours. If life were fair, I would be able to go to the box office and say, "This show sucked. Please give me my money back...incuding the $1.50 restoration fee, okay?" And they'd say, "Oh sure, Miss. We're soooo sorry you didn't like it. Here's a free set of tickets for the show of your choice, just to let you know we care."

HA!

[KJisgroovy]

Posted: 2/7/08 at 2:40am

"Who told us life had to be fair?"

I get it this. I thought the whole point of the thread was what we thought was fair in the given situation. So. I was sharing my opinion. But I agree. Count me among the Life's Not Fair camp.

kmc

[blaxx]

Posted: 2/7/08 at 2:41am

Point taken. Agreed.