Posted: 5/17/20 at 6:59pm
I'm going to spare the actual worst musicals I've seen, which were at the Edinburgh Fringe or tiny fringe theatres in London. Instead I'll stick to the ones must have had significant people vouching for them to put them on.
wonder.land - a retelling of Alice in Wonderland where a teenager tries to escape her life by playing an online game. It felt like it was written by someone who'd only encountered teenagers on bad TV, and only knew about video games by hearsay. Oh, and it was one of those musicals where you could tell instantly that the songs were written by someone with no knowledge or interest in musicals. Every choice was so uninspired and forgettable, but it had the full National Theatre spectacle treatment, which proved that even giant psychedelic sets and futuristic costumes can't make a dud interesting.
Paradise Found - this musical came to the Menier Chocolate Factory when the theatre was winning award after award and it felt like it could do no wrong. It was billed as a pre-Broadway tryout with a stellar cast and creative team, but of course it never made it further. Mandy Patinkin played a bald eunuch learning about love and sex in various palaces and brothels. As bizarre as it was, that's literally all I remember about it because every weird choice just added up to nothing. I think I'd forgotten the plot the moment I stood up from my seat. (Aaaah I've only just realised this was apparently Hal Prince's last original musical. Also the Menier doesn't list it on their website or wikipedia page.)
And now, the easy target: Tell Me on a Sunday. I saw the 2014 revival with Marti Webb and it seemed to go on for an eternity. Nothing remarkable about it, it was just so so boring.