THE ANARCHIST - Full Script

Setting: A meeting room/office

Lights up on two women, both awfully dressed. One dressed slightl better than the other.


Patti: I am in prison

Debra: Yes, I know.

Patti: I live here.

Debra: Yes.

Patti: I was in one cell and now I am in another.

Debra: Yes. Have you eaten?

Patti: No. And I am old.I'm an old lady in prison.

Debra: Yes.

Patti: Have you come to save me?

Debra: Do you need saving?

Patti: Is that a question or the answer to my salvation?

Debra: What do you think?

Patti: I think I'm already saved.

Debra: How so?

Patti: Don't you know?

Debra: I don't know. Do you?

Patti: I do know.

Debra: Do you?

Patti: I also know that you know that I know that you know.

Debra: And you know this?

Patti: It is all that I know.

Debra: Are you sure you do not want to eat?

Patti: I am sure of this.

Debra: You've committed a crime.

Patti: Jesus has saved me from myself.

Debra: Has he?

Patti: You see he has.

Debra: I see that?

Patti: I see that you see it.

Debra: How do you see that?

Patti: The evidence is as clear as my old lady-ness.

(phone rings)
Debra: Hello? Yes. Thank you.

Patti: Jesus is my savior

Debra: Where is Althea?

Patti: I don't know.

Debra: If you say you've changed...

Patti: I don't say it, I know it.

Debra: How can we be...

Patti: ...sure I've changed?

Debra: How can you be sure the leaves will fall from the trees and a child's laughter will carry an angel to heaven?

Patti: Faith. It is the salvation we make for ourselves.

Debra: Do not forget you have committed a crime. You are in prison.

Patti: If the world is made of particles of hate and regret than we are surely examples of the Lord's blessings.

Debra: Where is Althea?

Patti: I don't know.

Debra: What can you tell me?

Patti: Many things. None of which you would be willing to hear.

Debra: You think I won't listen to you?

Patti: What I think and what I know are as unrelated as the sky and the ground.

(phone rings)
Debra: Hello? Yes, she is. Goodbye.

Patti: Jesus

Debra: So you're not hungry.

Patti: You speak the truth.

Debra: Prove to me you've changed.

Patti: Jesus.

Debra: And that's proof?

Patti: That is for me to know and for you to find out.

Debra: Why should we let you out?

Patti: I'm an old woman now. I've served my time and then some.

Debra: And so you deserve to be set free?

Patti: I'm so very old. And Jesus.

Debra: Where is Althea?

Patti: I don't know.

Debra: You need to help me.

Patti: Help is something we ask for only when when we can't do something for ourselves.

Debra: I don't understand.

Patti: Christ is king.And I am so old now. Where are my teeth?

(phone rings)
Debra: Yes? You are? You did? You think? You can? You will? You tried? You didn't? Thank you.
Where is Althea?

Patti: I don't know.

Debra: I don't want to fight.

Patti: We haven't changed the subject of our conversation or the inflections in our voice for an hour. How could we be fighting?

Debra: So you've changed?

Patti: Does a sparrow without a beak have a chance of being anything other than half a sparrow with no chance of becoming the swan it was born to be when Christ birthed it into His kingdom?

Debra: I need to go.

Patti: Am I getting out?

Debra: That is now for me to know and for you to find out.

Patti: One last thing -

Debra: Yes, what is it?

Patti: Um...Jesus...?

Curtain.

Jordan neglected to mention that the version of the script he posted was before cuts were made during rehearsals.

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How long until Knowitall says, "That is not the script. Mamet is brilliant. Please see it"?

Or at least use Cheyenne Jackson as a prop.

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Yeah, Cheyenne can be Patti's vision of Jesus.

Thanks, Jordan! That script the best laugh I've had in a very long time!

Updated On: 11/16/12 at 05:29 PM

This thread has to be better than 90% of the stuff on Broadway right now. With or without songs.

Doubt she'll go up during a performance like Madonna did in SPEED THE PLOW, though.

Originally the first draft of the script was a conversation between two women seated next to each other in bathroom stalls. Mamet was quoted as saying "Chicks love to talk while they shlt, right?", which he later said gave him the inspiration for the play.

A Mamet script without one F bomb or any expletives. Next he will be writing for Disney. :)

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This smells like a "Broadway Abridged" candidate.

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Jordan, I've long thought you're one of the funniest people on here......and I love you even more now as, after reading this, you've just saved me a heap of $!!!

Best thing I've read all year!

I'm still trying to figure out where Althea is.

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