15 Reasons It Sucks To Be A Guy

[Robert Taylor]

Posted: 12/4/08 at 11:43pm

I got a chuckle out of these, specifically the Beyonce-related ones.

15 Reasons Why It Sucks To Be A Guy

1) Because I’m a Womanizer Womanizer Womanizer Womanizer Womanizer Womanizer Womanizer Womanizer Womanizer Womanizer Womanizer.
2) Because not only are we dragged to see “Twilight” but we also have a new “perfect man” to not live up to.
3) Because Beyonce was apparently tired of proving that she was better than all other woman, so she has released a song about how, if she were a boy, she would be better than all of us as well.
4) Perhaps Beyonce is doing this to us because we should have put a ring on it. So it’s really all our fault.
5) Because, since Oprah decided not to do a Favorite Things episode this year, we no longer have a foolproof Christmas list for our ladies, and will actually have to ask them what they want.
6) Because aliens have infested the Indiana Jones movies! And don’t even get me started on Shia LaBeouf!
7) Because P!nk was single for a few months, but then had to get back together with that frickin’ ex of hers.
Because even though we could care less whether the Christmas lights are up we’ll be the one hauling the ladder out and slinging them up for hours.
9) Because Nickelback is still producing albums.
10) Because we are hot then we are cold, yes then we are no, in then out, up then down, and because of this Katy Perry is now kissing girls.
11) Because Scarlett Johansson is married.
12) Because Katherine Heigl would rather screw a ghost than a real live guy.
13) Because there is apparently a law against liking Jessica Simpson in any way.
14) Because James Bond can’t even sleep with his Bond girl anymore…
15) …or do that cool shooting the gunbarrel thing at the beginning of his movies.

[Q]

Posted: 12/4/08 at 11:53pm

Proving once again that I have no sympathy for straight men.

But a fair amount for straight women.

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 12/4/08 at 11:58pm

FIve YAWNS. My lowest rating!

[TheatreDiva90016]

Posted: 12/5/08 at 12:07am

"And don’t even get me started on Shia LaBeouf!"

How about if you get ME started on him?

[Parks]

Posted: 12/5/08 at 12:14am

Wait... was this seriously posted on a Broadway message board?

Stereotypes were made for a reason. Duh.


(The Beyonce one did make me laugh though).

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 12/5/08 at 12:20am

It's disheartening to see such trite pop cultural references. I guess the list wasn't created by readers.

[Q]

Posted: 12/5/08 at 12:25am

"I guess the list wasn't created by readers."

I'm not sure they had opossable thumbs.

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 12/5/08 at 12:31am

Yeah, maybe their mom typed it up for them.

[etoile]

Posted: 12/5/08 at 12:44am

I didn't realize such creative writing classes started as early as junior high.

[Q]

Posted: 12/5/08 at 12:45am

"maybe their mom typed it up for them"

Well, I hope she warmed up some milk with cinnamon toast for them while she did.

Women should multi-task, after all.

Unless they're Beyonce, then all bets are off.

[Parks]

Posted: 12/5/08 at 12:58am

yeah! and then they should grow a penis!

...what?

[FindingNamo]

Posted: 12/5/08 at 1:00am

Then we'd show em how to put a ring on it.

Wuh uh oh.

[Q]

Posted: 12/5/08 at 1:03am

Ladies and Gentlemen, His Royal Highness, Prince Albert.

[mauriposa]

Posted: 12/5/08 at 1:04am

I don't have my contacts in at the moment so I thought this thread said "15 Reasons It Sucks To Be Gay," a list that would make much more sense given the audience of this message board.

[Q]

Posted: 12/5/08 at 1:06am

Around here, 15 reasons would be more like 15 ways . . . and it certainly wouldn't be a lament!

[Biff AKA Levi]

Posted: 12/5/08 at 1:24am

"Ladies and Gentlemen, His Royal Highness, Prince Albert."

I don't know if this was intentional (and it probably was) but Prince Alberts are nasty.

[shira467]

Posted: 12/5/08 at 1:27am

Eh, not too funny.

Q - I appreciate your sympathy!

[TheatreDiva90016]

Posted: 12/5/08 at 1:30am

Chips your teeth...

PA's...


I hear...

[Q]

Posted: 12/5/08 at 1:43am

Diva - you and I tend to 'hear' a lot . . .

[Weez]

Posted: 12/5/08 at 5:27am

First thought on seeing the subject heading: "Bitch, until you bleed out of your crotch in unnecessary crampy agony for several days every month from puberty to menopause, you don't get to bitch about being whatever gender you are".

Second thought: "And if you're a guy who bleeds out of his crotch on a regular basis, PLEASE get to a hostpial..."

[Radiana]

Posted: 12/5/08 at 8:35am

I'm with you WEEZ. That was my first thought when I read the list of hardships.

[jasonf]

Posted: 12/5/08 at 8:45am

Umm -- as one of the few straight guys on the board, I didn't even laugh at that. Sorry dude, hope you don't have a career in stand up.

[South Fl Marc]

Posted: 12/5/08 at 8:49am

Weez said - "First thought on seeing the subject heading: "Bitch, until you bleed out of your crotch in unnecessary crampy agony for several days every month from puberty to menopause, you don't get to bitch about being whatever gender you are"."


That reminded me of a line from South Park:
Mr Garrison - "I just don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die."

[Schmerg_The_Impaler]

Posted: 12/5/08 at 2:53pm

How can you not feel sorry for guys? Poor things have to suffer through Number 2 on the list.

I hate my sister's boyfriend, but I sympathize with him more than I ever thought I'd be able to. My sister dragged him to see Twilight AND HSM3.

[TheatreDiva90016]

Posted: 12/5/08 at 3:07pm

"I just don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die."

That ain't from South Park. They just stole it.

I've been saying that for years before they even started that show, except it's, "I dob't trust anything that bleeds for a week and doesn't die."