#1
Posted: 6/15/11 at 9:08pm
20 Lies New Yorkers Tell Tourists
#2
Posted: 6/16/11 at 12:09pm
not too imaginative, we could think of better...how about
Yes, Cats is still playing.
Ground Zero was moved to Statan Island. Take the ferry and ask for Old Kills.
"C" stands for "cuisine" outside a restaurant.
Spiderman is in Hoboken. Take the Path.
Harlem is a restaurant.
The Bronx Zoo is in Central Park.
Yes, Cats is still playing.
Ground Zero was moved to Statan Island. Take the ferry and ask for Old Kills.
"C" stands for "cuisine" outside a restaurant.
Spiderman is in Hoboken. Take the Path.
Harlem is a restaurant.
The Bronx Zoo is in Central Park.
#3
Posted: 6/16/11 at 12:12pm
Yes, Whoopi Goldberg is starring in Sister Act. (the lady sitting next to me when I saw this actually thought this)
#4
Posted: 6/16/11 at 12:18pm
Actually, Serendipity IS worth the wait.
#5
Posted: 6/16/11 at 12:19pm
"42nd Street is that way."
When I lived in Midtown East, a group of tourists stopped me on 50th and 1st and asked me if they were in Times Square.
When I lived in Midtown East, a group of tourists stopped me on 50th and 1st and asked me if they were in Times Square.
"You travel alone because other people are only there to remind you how much that hook hurts that we all bit down on. Wait for that one day we can bite free and get back out there in space where we belong, sail back over water, over skies, into space, the hook finally out of our mouths and we wander back out there in space spawning to other planets never to return hurrah to earth and we'll look back and can't even see these lives here anymore. Only the taste of blood to remind us we ever existed. The earth is small. We're gone. We're dead. We're safe."
-John Guare, Landscape of the Body
#6
Posted: 6/16/11 at 12:23pm
I was in Times Square the other day and a guy asked me if there were any Starbucks around. I said I didn't know. If you're in New York and can't find a Starbucks on your own you don't deserve a macchiato.
I know you.
I know you.
I know you.
#8
Posted: 6/16/11 at 12:43pm
Can you tell me where the Empire State Building is...or shall I just go f**k myself?
#10
Posted: 6/16/11 at 12:59pm
Calvin that happened to me too. The lady sittng next to me was pissed that Whoopi wasn't in Sister Act
"Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one's definition of your life. Define yourself"
#11
Posted: 6/16/11 at 1:26pm
Still not as good as the ladies at TKTS who asked if Frank Sinatra was going to be in Come Fly Away that evening.
True. Story.
Also,
"You want to see Wicked tonight? Oh, sure! There are plenty of inexpensive seats still available with terrific views. The theatre is on 75th and York."
True. Story.
Also,
"You want to see Wicked tonight? Oh, sure! There are plenty of inexpensive seats still available with terrific views. The theatre is on 75th and York."
"If this is going to be a Christian nation that doesn't help the poor, either we have to pretend that Jesus was just as selfish as we are, or we've got to acknowledge that He commanded us to love the poor and serve the needy without condition and then admit that we just don't want to do it." -Stephen Colbert
#12
Posted: 6/16/11 at 1:27pm
Ha, I can actually see how they might be confused, since her name is on the advertising.
It's still not as bad as when I was at MGM several years ago, and they had that attraction in which they picked people from the audience to do short scenes that they'd splice into well-known TV shows. (you'd be sitting at the bar at Cheers, chatting with the Golden Girls, eating chocolates on the assembly line with Lucy, etc) While we were waiting, the lady next to us asked, "Any idea when Lucille Ball is going to get here?" Uhh, even if she hadn't died two years before, I don't think she would be doing 6 shows a day at a theme park. I don't care how bad Life With Lucy was.
It's still not as bad as when I was at MGM several years ago, and they had that attraction in which they picked people from the audience to do short scenes that they'd splice into well-known TV shows. (you'd be sitting at the bar at Cheers, chatting with the Golden Girls, eating chocolates on the assembly line with Lucy, etc) While we were waiting, the lady next to us asked, "Any idea when Lucille Ball is going to get here?" Uhh, even if she hadn't died two years before, I don't think she would be doing 6 shows a day at a theme park. I don't care how bad Life With Lucy was.
Updated On: 6/16/11 at 01:27 PM
#13
Posted: 6/16/11 at 2:00pm
Though I do believe Gale Gordon did, for a short time, lead the Great American Movie Ride!
I was actually picked for one of those, Cal! I did a Home Improvement one! I had a beard and was cast as 'Al.' Hilight of my career.
I was actually picked for one of those, Cal! I did a Home Improvement one! I had a beard and was cast as 'Al.' Hilight of my career.
#15
Posted: 6/16/11 at 2:25pm
Home Improvement didn't exist when I was there! Not that any of us can remember life before JTT.
#16
Posted: 6/16/11 at 2:29pm
'What was her name?'
Kelly Preston.
And really, Cal. Who were we before JTT? Was it a simpler time? Do you know...where you're going to?
Kelly Preston.
And really, Cal. Who were we before JTT? Was it a simpler time? Do you know...where you're going to?
#17
Posted: 6/16/11 at 2:35pm
Starbucks is in Central Park. Just look for the boats.
#18
Posted: 6/16/11 at 2:53pm
YES, eat that meat (rat) on a stick! It's the quintessential NYC outdoor dining experience.
#19
Posted: 6/16/11 at 3:03pm
The #1 lie the rest of us tell about New Yorkers - "No, they don't seem to like being assholes just for the sake of being assholes!"
#20
Posted: 6/16/11 at 3:08pm
"There's really no reason to the leave the Midtown area."
"...everyone finally shut up, and the audience could enjoy the beginning of the Anatevka Pogram in peace."
#21
Posted: 6/16/11 at 4:33pm
Place - back in their hotel room:
"I've never done this before...."
"I've never done this before...."
"If my life weren't funny, it would just be true. And that would be unacceptable."
--Carrie Fisher
#22
Posted: 6/16/11 at 4:38pm
^ prefaced by "Today is my 30th birthday..."
#23
Posted: 6/17/11 at 12:33am
On 45th and Broadway.
Tourist: Where is Times Square?
Me: You're in it.
Tourist (looking around): So it's further that way?
I should have said: Yes. Take the Path. It's in Hoboken.
Tourist: Where is Times Square?
Me: You're in it.
Tourist (looking around): So it's further that way?
I should have said: Yes. Take the Path. It's in Hoboken.
#24
Posted: 6/17/11 at 12:57am
You can make a lot of $$$$$$$$$ playing 3 card monte.
#25
Posted: 6/17/11 at 1:08am
I'm not even from New York, and I even thought some of those were unimaginative. I did, however, laugh at the Canal Street line.
Updated On: 6/17/11 at 01:08 AM
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