Lance Bass: I'm Gay — Page 14

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#326

lance bass: i'm gay

Posted: 7/28/06 at 2:24pm

but doodle, if i were writing a personal ad and said that i "preferred black men only," does that imply that i'm prejudiced against other races or is just a preference?

XING
PED

#327

lance bass: i'm gay

Posted: 7/28/06 at 2:26pm

not sure about the prejudice, handsome ROBbO, but in any case I'd like to see the videos.

Will: They don't give out awards for helping people be gay... unless you count the Tonys. "I guarantee that we'll have tough times. I guarantee that at some point one or both of us will want to get out. But I also guarantee that if I don't ask you to be mine, I'll regret it for the rest of my life..."

#328

lance bass: i'm gay

Posted: 7/28/06 at 2:27pm

Dd, WERE prejudices within black communities due to skin color? Try still IS! Further, white people often rank other races on the color of their skin.

Addy, there should be no "they" and "us." But there often is. In Lance's case, there's a "fem" and a "butch." The butch designation is something he's layering onto himself in order to appeal - in his own opinion - more to society at large since it's more acceptable to be seen as a butch guy than a queen.

My whole thought on the "straight" acting thing is that it's fine to be what you are. If Lance really is a football-playing, beer-drinking guy, fine. But the implication in his statement was to disparage the "other" and that's where I took umbrage.

#329

lance bass: i'm gay

Posted: 7/28/06 at 2:28pm

This statement by lance just makes me believe even more than he's really a screaming queen.

when ducks grow thumbs then maybe my opinion will change.

#330

lance bass: i'm gay

Posted: 7/28/06 at 2:29pm

"but doodle, if i were writing a personal ad and said that i "preferred black men only," does that imply that i'm prejudiced against other races or is just a preference?"

I think it means you're prejudiced against small penises.

Seriously? I say preference, because it you arent asking someone be "black acting."

"Carson has combined his passion for helping children with his love for one of Cincinnati's favorite past times - cornhole - to create a unique and exciting event perfect for a corporate outing, entertaining clients or family fun."

"In Oz, the verb is douchifizzation." PRS

#331

lance bass: i'm gay

Posted: 7/28/06 at 2:30pm

where is the original quote from lance? i have not seen it and would like to read the article in its entirety.

XING
PED

#332

lance bass: i'm gay

Posted: 7/28/06 at 2:30pm

bway... I wasn't sure if that was still common.

Celebrate Life

Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted. - Randy Pausch

#333

lance bass: i'm gay

Posted: 7/28/06 at 2:32pm

Why is there so little tolerance for differences in personality, behavior and activity based on sexual orientation?

I think that would be a good question to ask Mr. Bass. No one (least of all me) is slagging him for being a beer-drinking, football watching type. It's that he used the words "straight-acting," which implies that those acts of drinking beer and watching football aren't gay at all.

I don't think anyone on here is saying that gays or straights have to act a certain way. It's the use of the words "straight acting" that we take issue with. The implication is that A) There are different ways for gays and straights to act and that B) Acting traditionally "gay" is abnormal.

I'm sorry that Addy and any other straight people are taking offense here, because I don't think any of us had that intention. It's the choice of those words by a self-proclaimed gay person that has ruffled some feathers.

I'd say that a lot of people would label as me as a more "gay" acting gay person. That's fine, and I don't take offense to it. I do take offense when it's implied that there's a superiority in traditionally acting "straight," which is what Lance Bass's comment implies.

If you go on any gay dating site, you'll find plenty of men using the words "straight-acting" to describe their demeanor and/or what they are looking for in a partner. It's usually followed by comments like "I want my men to act like men," or "If I wanted a girl. I'd just date one." This is not to say that I think that stereotypical (which is probably a better word me to use than "traditional") gay behavior is "girly" or hell, that even acting "girly" is wrong. I don't use the phrase "straight-acting" unless I'm having a discussion like this one.

I'm glad that a lot of you don't find the term "straight-acting" derisive. It's just that a lot of us do find it a derisive term. And it's not because there's something wrong with "acting straight," it's because that expression implies that there's something wrong those of us who do not naturally (or make an effort to) act "straight."

"How do you like THAT 'misanthropic panache,' Mr. Goldstone?" - PalJoey

Updated On: 7/28/06 at 02:32 PM

#334

lance bass: i'm gay

Posted: 7/28/06 at 2:33pm

okay, doodle, how does one "act black" ?

XING
PED

#335

lance bass: i'm gay

Posted: 7/28/06 at 2:35pm

Gurrrll, shooze...I know you ain't tryna be axing some kinda dumb-ass question like that up in this piece!

Suzanne: I never use catalogs. I'd rather go in the store and see all the salespeople groveling and sucking up to you. Julia: Pardon me, I never knew they were so solicitous at the K-Mart.

#336

lance bass: i'm gay

Posted: 7/28/06 at 2:35pm

Margo can do it too.

#337

lance bass: i'm gay

Posted: 7/28/06 at 2:36pm

I personally can't stand Beer (although i will on occasion choke down a guiness just so i don't forget my Irish roots) but i love me some football (and no, it's not the tight pants).

when ducks grow thumbs then maybe my opinion will change.

#338

lance bass: i'm gay

Posted: 7/28/06 at 2:36pm

Which brings me back to my original point...

There is no one way to act straight.

There is no one way to act gay.

"Two drifters off to see the world. There's such a lot of world to see. . ."

#339

lance bass: i'm gay

Posted: 7/28/06 at 2:36pm

Seriously...that's the point, RobbO (I'm not sure if you're baiting me.)

#340

lance bass: i'm gay

Posted: 7/28/06 at 2:37pm

A huge part of our culture is about labels. You've got your queens, kings, daddy's, cubs, cub-chasers, lipsticks, dykes, twinks and on and on and on. Heck, back in the day we had over 30 handkerchiefs just to describe our sexual preferences.

#341

lance bass: i'm gay

Posted: 7/28/06 at 2:39pm

^ you're old.

XING
PED

#342

lance bass: i'm gay

Posted: 7/28/06 at 2:40pm

What do we call RobbOs?

#343

lance bass: i'm gay

Posted: 7/28/06 at 2:44pm

"Which brings me back to my original point...

There is no one way to act straight.

There is no one way to act gay."

Then why use the term straight acting?

I want to see an ad seeking a gay acting straight man. Wonder why we never see that.

#344

lance bass: i'm gay

Posted: 7/28/06 at 2:44pm

You mean they don't use it any more?

And after I spent all that money buying those boxes of dark red hankies.

#345

lance bass: i'm gay

Posted: 7/28/06 at 2:45pm

fess up: how many people just googled the meaning of dark red hankies?

#346

lance bass: i'm gay

Posted: 7/28/06 at 2:46pm

I want to see an ad seeking a gay acting straight man. Wonder why we never see that.

Because Star Jones is already married. (rim shot)

eta: bway, I hope you're not at work.

Updated On: 7/28/06 at 02:46 PM

#347

lance bass: i'm gay

Posted: 7/28/06 at 2:47pm

oh, i loves me some gay acting straight men! they're are the hardest to find - when you do find one it is like winning the gay lottery!

i'm too lazy and hoped someone else would do it, bway.

XING
PED

#348

lance bass: i'm gay

Posted: 7/28/06 at 2:47pm

You're absolutely right, Addy. Your original point is valid and no one is arguing with that. There is no one way to act gay or to act straight.

However, the person this thread is about is attributed with the comment "That the stereotypes are out the window ... I've met so many people like me that it's really encouraged me. I call them the SAGs — the straight-acting gays. We're just normal, typical guys. I love to watch football and drink beer."

It's that comment that implies that "straight-acting" behavior is normal and typical. As someone who has spent well over a decade in the dating world, it's comments like that that make my skin crawl. It's not that "straight-acting" (or what is often referred to as "masculine" behavior) is wrong. It's setting up the notion that the opposite behavior is wrong, because it implicitly (and sometimes not so implicitly) implies that non-straight (which really boils down to "feminine") behavior is wrong.

The phrase straight-acting is as misogynistic as it is homophobic.

"How do you like THAT 'misanthropic panache,' Mr. Goldstone?" - PalJoey

#349

lance bass: i'm gay

Posted: 7/28/06 at 2:48pm

DOODLE and ROBbO, is the difference that sometimes you see ads looking for "thugs"...an update of the old "mandingo" stereotype? (not that I read that many ads, of course).

Meaning that sometimes a cliche becomes either derogatory or celebrative, depending on the context. There's a lot of complexities to such issues, of course. I mean, I know for certain that most trailer-park dwellers aren't much like the folks in GREAT AMERICAN TRAILER PARK MUSICAL, but it sure is fun. I don't know many Texans like those characters in GREATER TUNA, or nuns like the women in NUNSENSE.

#350

lance bass: i'm gay

Posted: 7/28/06 at 2:50pm

I still use Mandingo in my ads, is that bad?

when ducks grow thumbs then maybe my opinion will change.

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