Matt Doyle-another wonderful low-key coming out.. — Page 2

The thing is - everybody around you may "know" you are gay, but that doesn't mean it's still not scary to say it out loud. I haven't had to really Come Out in over a decade, I think, but I remember how scary it could be.

I mean this nicely, but if you're straight and wondering if coming out is still necessary, it's just rhetorical for you. It doesn't matter what you think about it. It's not about you.

Unless the world evolves to the point where we accept whatever gender someone chooses to love/sleep with/crush on/whatever then on some level, gay people are ALWAYS going to have to come out.

Many, probably, MOST straight people pretty much take for granted that they are going to see themselves represented in movies, books, celebrity, and simply in the greater world at large. And for you it IS implicit. For gay people, it's not implicit. At least not most of the time.

I think your concern about being inadvertently offensive probably means that you'll take the care NOT to be offensive. I think telling someone you're happy if they're happy is a fine response as well.

A lot of the times - and this is just based on my own experiences - people just want to know that you'll still be there for them after they come out.

But this has sort of verged into two discussions - coming out in your immediate personal life and coming out as a celebrity/public figure.

"it's another thing entirely to out someone who isn't ready to come out."

But we're now in a very gray area regarding 'out.' Can someone who goes to Therapy (a gay bar in midtown Manhattan) really use a claim of privacy anymore? If you are walking down 9th Avenue street, holding hands with another guy, are you not publicly out? It's gotten confusing in the Aughts.

If you are walking down 9th Avenue street, holding hands with another guy, are you not publicly out?

Only if you're Twitterpic'd.

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The thing is - everybody around you may "know" you are gay, but that doesn't mean it's still not scary to say it out loud. I haven't had to really Come Out in over a decade, I think, but I remember how scary it could be.

I myself am terrified of coming out, but I'm going to try coming out to my parents on New Year's Eve. Wish me luck. God knows I'll need it.

"I myself am terrified of coming out, but I'm going to try coming out to my parents on New Year's Eve. Wish me luck. God knows I'll need it."

In my opinion, it's best to come out when it seems natural as opposed to planning a date to tell someone. I really haven't, er, "come out" to very many people other than a few of my good friends (and all of BWW, but that doesn't count), have you come out to any of your friends? You should come out to as many friends as possible before you start telling relatives, because it allows you a little more practice. I've come out to 6 friends and each time it gets progressively easier and less awkward. I also have done it when it felt right for me AND for them, as opposed to planning a date to do it. Just because that's what is best for me doesn't mean it's what's best for you, however. I wish you look in whatever you choose to do.

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Jazzy, I think you make some valid points (especially about telling other friends, because having a support group when you tell your folks is never a bad idea), but as for setting a date - I think sometimes you have to with your parents, lest you never find the right way to work it in to conversation. Depending on the parental situation, it could very well be impossible for it to organically come up.

I actually left my mom a note one morning saying I wanted to talk to her that night. After it assuring her it was nothing "bad" I sat her down and just kind of blurted it out. It went well. I did just sort of tell my dad off the cuff (they were divorced by this point) a year or so later. It really just depends, I guess.

Once again, we're in your corner, TheatreFan. Good luck!

I also wish you luck. I'm also gay, but I've only come out on a Rent forum and a Next to Normal forum... and now here. I wish I could tell people I know, but being in eighth grade, I can't trust anyone and every guy seems to need to make it clear that they are straight by insulting gays at every opportunity.

TheaterFan4, I was wondering if setting the date New Year's was to make sure you didn't have regrets from this year/decade, but because it's starting something new, I think it would make more sense to wait for the actual new year to come. I agree not to come out on a special day because if it doesn't go well, it could make that day awkward for years to come. Maybe sometime around then. Of course, I'm not the most experienced person here.

Damn.

But if it's any consolation it's not like we can marry him either .

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