Queer Misogyny- Page 9

[nomdeplume]

Posted: 5/12/06 at 3:59pm

Funny, Kringas, that you should choose to criticize my behavior and say nothing of the gay male who first attacked the female so viciously and mysogynistically on the bus. I protected her by countering him and I had to think fast. It worked. It also pointed to the source of his comment, his own gay misogyny.

Had there been a better quick short phrase to counter and expose his behavior, I would like to hear alternatives as I cannot say it was perfect or the best way.

But gay men can't do just anything they please, particularly when it offends, without expecting repercussions. And I think it odd on your part, Kringas, that you chose not to address his behavior and how innapropirate it was for him to yell the "c" word at a woman on a bus.

If she had slugged him for that, a jury could have found that his speech was not protected behavior. Contrary to what some have voiced on this board, you do not have the right to say anything you want anywhere you want. If the speech is deemed so offensive to the hearer as to generate a fight,t he one who initiated the fight with words may be in the wrong.

In this case this cowardly gay male sought to use such a provacative phrase toward a women, who was smaller than himself and could not slug him in return. He knew this and took advantage of it. I guarantee you this coward would not have provoked a male his size or larger in this way.

He was shocked when I, smaller than he, chose to counter him to protect her, and he slunk off the bus.

Updated On: 5/12/06 at 03:59 PM

[RobbO]

Posted: 5/12/06 at 4:00pm

slunk? or slanked?

[iflitifloat]

Posted: 5/12/06 at 4:02pm

OK. In fairness, I suppose the three letters could have been "ock", but probably not.

Whatever. There seem to be bigger issues there than what words are being used.

[RobbO]

Posted: 5/12/06 at 4:03pm

it makes me sad. it's almost as bad as when i was a kid and i would hear my parents' fighting.

Updated On: 5/12/06 at 04:03 PM

[jrb_actor]

Posted: 5/12/06 at 4:05pm

I chose the c word only as irony because of this thread. And sadly, it isn't a threadjack really. Two people who claim to never make misogynist comments actually refer to my best friend as a "ginormous vagina" and variations of such. Sure it was only about drag queen names. It was because you both didn't realize that I know what you were really getting at.

[RobbO]

Posted: 5/12/06 at 4:06pm

[doodlenyc]

Posted: 5/12/06 at 4:07pm

do you need to find your happy place, RobbO?

Did I miss where someone said that gay men are allowed to say and do whatever they want?

[Kringas]

Posted: 5/12/06 at 4:08pm

Funny, Nom, I'm still trying to figure out how you decided this thread was an appropriate place to sing the praises of Corine2.

I said two wrongs don't make a right. Of course it was wrong to call the woman a c***. Your decision to use the words "faggy faggy" simply means you were no better than those guys, no matter how good your intentions were.

[robbiej]

Posted: 5/12/06 at 4:08pm

I'm confused as to the great gay misogyny populace.

Honestly...other than a few off color jokes (you should HEAR what we say about the Jews!), I've only encountered it rarely. And I've been 'in the life,' as they say, for quite some time.

Nom...I think the reason Kringas (and others) haven't addressed this 'cowardly gay man's behavior is because I think the concensus(sp??) is that it was horrible. I don't think anyone here condones it...in the least. But I also don't think you get a buy for your response based on chivalry. I would like to think I would have gone with, 'Shut the f*ck up, a$$hole!' Who knows.

[nomdeplume]

Posted: 5/12/06 at 4:09pm

For RobbO:

http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=slunk

slunk
...
To move in a quiet furtive manner; sneak: slunk away ashamed
...

[ckeaton]

Posted: 5/12/06 at 4:12pm

"I've done every everything a body can do
But how damn much can a body go through
I'm gettin' too old for the endless procession
I'm gettin' too old for the constant depression"

[robbiej]

Posted: 5/12/06 at 4:18pm

First of all...I have never, EVER claimed that I don't make misogynystic comments. F*ck...I did so in this thread...and copped to it. Like having racists tendencies, if one is white and male in this country, these things get ingrained in us.

Secondly...and I say this without reserve...I would NEVER, EVER refer to your roommate, whom I happen to like quite a bit, as that. I just wouldn't.

[nomdeplume]

Posted: 5/12/06 at 4:19pm

Thank you for being someone who finally offered an alternative, robbiej. That wouldn't have exposed the origin of his misogyny to others on the bus. I don't think to say someone's behavior is "faggy" is the same as calling someone a "fag." I wish there were a short word or two for a gay man acting mysogynistically because I would have used it. If I could have thought of that in that second of instinct in which you have to respond. And it was my instinct that put the two and two together of the situation more than my conscious mind or intellect. An intuitive response.

I didn't feel great about what I said. I asked people, even gay male friends what they thought. They actually just laughed and did not think it offensive, they thought his conduct deserved it.

It would be nice to have something very P.C. to have at the ready in case the situation arises again, because in NYC, nasty interactions like that seem to just be an unfortunate way of life.

Suggestions?

And Kringas, I think the misogyny toward Corine2 has been overwhelming and I am not the only one to think so, some others are just not as articulate as I about it, or as willing to confront bad behavior when it is coming from a group who like to play several against one.

[SueleenGay]

Posted: 5/12/06 at 4:19pm

You are all just a bunch of low hangers.

[doodlenyc]

Posted: 5/12/06 at 4:20pm

Like Kathy Griffin's bagina?

[RobbO]

Posted: 5/12/06 at 4:21pm

for nomdeplume:

http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=sarcasm

sarcasm
...
A form of wit that is marked by the use of sarcastic language.
...

[nomdeplume]

Posted: 5/12/06 at 4:23pm

Good to know you thunk, RobbO.

[Kringas]

Posted: 5/12/06 at 4:24pm

And really, nomdeplume, I'm sorry that you're disappointed more people aren't applauding your story, but let's look at exactly what you've told us.

When I heard a gay man call a woman the "c" word on a bus I looked right at him and said very sarcastically to him "faggy, faggy," referring to his behavior.

He blanched because he was shocked that I just knew he was gay and the people around me cracked up, because then they got what the true source of his behavior was. He was not able, therefore, to succeed in humilating or insulting the woman, which was his goal (over some imagined slight).

I'll assume (like you) for argument's sake that this guy was really gay, so in your task to admonish him for using the c-word, you used a variation of anti-gay epithet, which caused the people on the bus to laugh. How is what you did any better than what he did? You didn't call him out for using the word, you made an anti-gay slur, which caused the people to laugh at him. Who is to say they weren't just laughing at him because he was a fag and you happened to call him out on it?

This, in conjunction with your various posts on this thread, leads me to believe you have some serious issues with gays that can't be worked out on this board.

[doodlenyc]

Posted: 5/12/06 at 4:25pm

NDP, I find any use and any tense of the word fag offensive. I'd rather you call me fat AND misogynistic.

It is the gay equivalent of the N word. It is why the gay community uses it, along with queer...to diffuse the word, much like the African American community using the N word.

This does not work, however, because it is not the word that is the problem, but the intent behind the word.

I find your reaction to what the stupid man on the bus said to the woman worse, in fact than what he said. He was angry and stupid, you shouldve known better.

[RobbO]

Posted: 5/12/06 at 4:27pm

shouldve or shoulda?

[doodlenyc]

Posted: 5/12/06 at 4:29pm

heh...I guess I'm mistaken either way.

[Kringas]

Posted: 5/12/06 at 4:29pm

It would be nice to have something very P.C. to have at the ready in case the situation arises again, because in NYC, nasty interactions like that seem to just be an unfortunate way of life.

Then why didn't you just address the issue instead of taking the low road?


And Kringas, I think the misogyny toward Corine2 has been overwhelming and I am not the only one to think so, some others are just not as articulate as I about it, or as willing to confront bad behavior when it is coming from a group who like to play several against one.

I don't think the venom directed at Corine2 is a gay issue. I see plenty of straights getting their digs in as well. That's why I questioned the validity of the comparison on this thread.

[iflitifloat]

Posted: 5/12/06 at 4:30pm

Or you could go with the classic "should have"...

[RobbO]

Posted: 5/12/06 at 4:32pm

i think calling the teasing of corine2, misogyny is akin to calling the teasing of a dog, bestiality.

Updated On: 5/12/06 at 04:32 PM

[doodlenyc]

Posted: 5/12/06 at 4:33pm

and I thought the gays were overly sensitive!