Queer Misogyny- Page 8

[Jane2]

Posted: 5/12/06 at 3:20pm

"Woh. J, talk about not getting something. AT ALL. But then, I guess I've come to expect that from you, too"

No need to say I'm not getting it, singer. Isn't it clear to you that neither one of us is getting the other? It's not an insult, just a fact. It doesn't mean we have to be enemies unless you want it that way. We don't always get along with everyone. I'm not angry at you. Just frustrated. so let's stop.

[bwaysinger]

Posted: 5/12/06 at 3:20pm

oh holy crap. This is way getting out of hand.
Jane, that wasn't directed at you, it was at JRB, who has, once again, decided I've assaulted him.

[Calvin]

Posted: 5/12/06 at 3:22pm

I'm the goddess of wisdom, not the goddess of domestics. Call Rosie the paper towel lady for that.

[jrb_actor]

Posted: 5/12/06 at 3:22pm

No, what's funny, bway--is that you don't have a clue how much I do know about what you say behind my back. That's what's funny. People aren't as silent as you think. And I know how you talk about D.

[ckeaton]

Posted: 5/12/06 at 3:23pm

You guys are such ****s.

[bwaysinger]

Posted: 5/12/06 at 3:25pm

John, I won't keep this going on a public thread because it's pointless, but I'd suggest you consider the source and ask yourself if they're telling the truth.

[robbiej]

Posted: 5/12/06 at 3:26pm

Wait...WHAT???

I have no idea where this thread went.

[ckeaton]

Posted: 5/12/06 at 3:28pm

[brdlwyr]

Posted: 5/12/06 at 3:28pm

"Where did we go right?"

[cheezedoodle]

Posted: 5/12/06 at 3:29pm

Wildest threadjack ever.

[Jane2]

Posted: 5/12/06 at 3:30pm

everybody-once again, I am not able to articulate what I mean. and this is not directed towards singer. I have a problem being understood a lot of the time. I don't mean anyone any harm and I'm not angry at anyone. I'm leaving the thread and finishing my MEATBALLS so that you can all get back to the way it was before I barged in!

[doodlenyc]

Posted: 5/12/06 at 3:31pm

I have whiplash!

[brdlwyr]

Posted: 5/12/06 at 3:32pm

To jump back, someone in our circle called his wife a Cun* in public and he literally is shunned by many.

[nomdeplume]

Posted: 5/12/06 at 3:32pm

Seems to me this kind of attempt to veer the topic off-subject and belittle it is exactly the reason why "Queer Misogyny" needs to addressed directly and more often and called for what it is.

And gay men aren't the only male misogynists.

[iflitifloat]

Posted: 5/12/06 at 3:39pm

Damn. Just when I thought the thread had gotten boring...

[Kringas]

Posted: 5/12/06 at 3:45pm

Wow. I had to go to bed last night right after I started this thread and I was amazed to see how much it's grown in that time. Granted, maybe 25% of the last eight pages actually had anything to do with the topic, but there you go (Mind you, I'm not chastising thread-jackers. I'm often one of the worst offenders in that regard).

ANYway, I just wanted to add a few points.

I, too, didn't really get what the hell Corine2 had to do with this thread.

Nomedeplume's "When I heard a gay man call a woman the "c" word on a bus I looked right at him and said very sarcastically to him "faggy, faggy," referring to his behavior" is rather deplorable. It would akin to me using the n-word with an African-American who called me "faggot." Would it sting that person? Probably? Would I be justified in using the word? I'm not really sure. As simplistic as it sounds, two wrongs really don't make a right.

Jane2's story about the movie was interesting. I can see where she's coming from, as I get that same sick feeling every time I'm at a movie where there's a gay or lesbian love scene and I hear straight people making derisive comments.

Also, I find it interesting that we keep dancing around the "C-word" but there have been many variations of the word "faggot" on the thread. There's my thread-jack.

I could have more to say, but this discussion was pretty much derailed from the start.

[Mister Matt]

Posted: 5/12/06 at 3:46pm

I've definitely been around gay men who shriek and squeal at the mention of any female anatomy and I've always found it to be a performance than anything truly misogynistic. The same way a group of pre-teen girls has to point and laugh at the subjects of their slam book. But I cannot recall a single time this was done in the presence of women, nor did it have anything to do with a hatred of women. I am not attracted to the Veeger in any way whatsoever and my one encounter with one was unpleasant enough for my to verify my own sexual preference, but it does not mean I am misogynistic. I love and have loved many many women throughout my life and always will, but I will never visit Veeger again. And many of those women have also told me of their own repulsion at the thought of cunnilingus or menstruation and I don't consider them misogynists, either.

I do think it all has to do with what is said and how it is said. When slurs are spit with a particular venom, then hatred can easily be recognized. When dizzy queens are cackling in a gay bar, I really don't think it stems from hatred, but boredom and insecurity. They feel the need to impress each other and have nothing else to talk about, thus they seek an easy target with which they can all relate. Straight men do the same in reverse. They can often bond, even when they don't know each other, by swapping stories of sex and female anatomy. It doesn't mean they hate women, nor would they discuss it in front of a woman, but it is something they feel they can all enjoy and relate to.

And yes, I will use the C-word for the exact same reason I use the word "prick". It is reserved for the highest level of disdain towards one person's behavior, not for all members of that sex.

Everyone is offended by something. You can't avoid it, but a little common sense goes a long way.

Updated On: 5/12/06 at 03:46 PM

[Jane2]

Posted: 5/12/06 at 3:48pm

Hey-I forgot to thank Nom for supporting me earlier in the thread! thanks hon!

[iflitifloat]

Posted: 5/12/06 at 3:51pm

I know you two faggots can't comprehend my friendship with D and think it's worth mocking. Fine. You can both go f*** yourselves. C***s.

And yet, when you're really pissed off, damn if it isn't the c-word that comes out. *That's* exactly the usage of the word I take exception with. The worst thing you could come up with to call someone you are really angry with is a derogatory term for a woman's vagina. Nice.

[RobbO]

Posted: 5/12/06 at 3:53pm

iflit, how do you know what the three letters are?

[robbiej]

Posted: 5/12/06 at 3:55pm

I'm still completely flummoxed how an offhanded convo about drag names (nobody likes Kelen Kunt???) turned into this.

But I think it's a minefield I'd prefer to stay out of. If only Princess Di were still around.

Or Di2.

[iflitifloat]

Posted: 5/12/06 at 3:56pm

Context, RobbO, context.

[cheezedoodle]

Posted: 5/12/06 at 3:56pm

That's the same poster that admonished me when I called another poster (gay man) the C word. Figures.

[doodlenyc]

Posted: 5/12/06 at 3:56pm

actually, I believe that if you asked kids on a playground the answer to what the worst thing you could call someone is "fag."

[Kringas]

Posted: 5/12/06 at 3:57pm

Re the Will and Grace Syndrome: I've never understood why any self-respecting gay man or straight woman would want to compare their relationships to those to characters.

I suppose way back in the day I had friends who would be referred to as "fag-hags" (this isn't a term I use, but it seems to be a good frame of reference for this discussion). After a certain point, though, one when finds that their sexuality is pretty much the main thing that's attracting what should be a platonic friend to you, you realize that perhaps this isn't the best kind of relationship to be involved in.

I still have plenty of women friends. Never in a million years would I compare any of them to Grace Adler. To them, that would be as offensive as calling them the C-Word.