Stella Has Apparently Lost Her Groove Again- Page 2

[Jane2]

Posted: 4/7/07 at 5:59pm

"The Terry McMillan Story" Starring Star Jones"

LOL!

[PalJoey]

Posted: 4/7/07 at 6:00pm

Many men don't know they're gay, are genuinely in love with the woman they marry and think that whatever gay thoughts or desires they have will simply go away.

Society encourages them to believe this. Jamaican society definitely encouraged Jonathan to believe that.

You (and Terry) may be surprised to hear this, but most men who come out after they marry a woman DON'T enter into the marriage INTENDING to inflict pain on their spouse.

Sometimes you find your groove where you least expect it.

Updated On: 4/7/07 at 06:00 PM

[soapguy17]

Posted: 4/7/07 at 6:07pm

PJ, even if he didn't know he was gay, I'm going to blame it on my youth that I really don't believe that. Can you not understand my sympathy for the spouses in this situation?
And I take my original post back, I don't believe that gay men and women who go into the marriage intend to hurt their spouses, but last time I checked it was possible to hurt someone without trying.

[MatthewAddison]

Posted: 4/7/07 at 6:21pm

McMillan: "I'm really getting tired of the fact that people get upset that I use the F-word to refer to Jonathan. It was the only weapon that I have. It offends me that gay men think they are above criticism."

Since when has "faggot" become an acceptable "criticism" for a man who is gay?

[GoSmileLaughCryClap]

Posted: 4/7/07 at 6:25pm

This is a case where the purported "meal Ticket" uses the "meal ticketee" as a "meal ticket!"

If Terry had any guts, that would be the ironic twist of her next book.

[PalJoey]

Posted: 4/7/07 at 6:38pm

"Since when has "faggot" become an acceptable "criticism" for a man who is gay?"

Apparently since Stella sued her groove.

[Rathnait62]

Posted: 4/7/07 at 6:51pm

"I'm really getting tired of the fact that people get upset that I use the F-word to refer to Jonathan. It was the only weapon that I have."

Honestly, how is this woman sympathetic?

[soapguy17]

Posted: 4/7/07 at 7:04pm

Rath, I was very much aware of that quote before I posted. It really worries me that you guys don't see my point. I will always sympathize with the straight spouses of gay men and women. No one deserves that. I guess we'll have to agree to disagree.

[Rathnait62]

Posted: 4/7/07 at 7:05pm

I take that on a case-by-case basis. I don't think she went into the relationship with pure motives either.

Posted: 4/7/07 at 7:10pm

I guess that is what happens when you count on someone else to give you your groove. Remember kids, we are each responsible for our own grooves.

[StageManager2]

Posted: 4/7/07 at 7:13pm

You're so wise, Joe.

[soapguy17]

Posted: 4/7/07 at 7:14pm

Joe, that is indeed the moral of the story.

Rath, We'll never know.

[best12bars]

Posted: 4/7/07 at 7:42pm

So... using her logic... is a black man who cheats on his wife a "n*?"

A bashing comment like "fag" is not a valid criticism for his infidelity and sexual confusion.

soapguy17--When you're older, and begin to see and know a little more about the worldwide history of oppression toward gays, I think you'll feel more empathy for a young 20-year-old man who "thinks" or at least hopes he's straight to make himself "normal." Men did what they had to do, back before Stonewall (and even after). The majority of men got married to women, because it was expected of them. People did what was expected of them, or they were shunned by society. They couldn't get jobs or become social members of their communities otherwise. So many gay men married women... and they cheated with men. That was how they dealt with the oppression. That was how they survived.

To put your own modern, American sensibilities on either men of other cultures, or men of other eras would be a mistake.

BUT... I'm not saying that he's a total victim or that he's innocent here. I don't know all of his motives in deciding to marry a woman. THIS woman. I'm only saying that I understand (not excuse) what he did and why he did it. But deception, lying and "pretending" aren't the answer. Everyone always loses in the end.

Joekv99--Very well put.

[soapguy17]

Posted: 4/7/07 at 7:49pm

best12bars, very well put.

[StageManager2]

Posted: 4/7/07 at 7:53pm

soapguy17: Very well put.

Posted: 4/7/07 at 7:58pm

StageManager2, Very well put.

Posted: 4/7/07 at 7:58pm

StageManager2, Very well put.

[soapguy17]

Posted: 4/7/07 at 8:05pm

I walked right into that one. *shakes SM2's hand*