The BroadwayWorld Hotel — Page 9

The NO SEX PLEASE, WE'RE BRITISH room. Not for the prudish, this room is ultra modern and filled with every toy imaginable for those who want to spice up their intimate relationships. There's plenty of leather, lots of chains, a few whips and a varied assortment of handcuffs (furry and otherwise). The coffee table is brimming over with literature that is sure to excite members of either gender.

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The STREETCAR NAMED DESIRE room. Walking into this room is like stepping right into vintage New Orleans. There are exposed lightbulbs, sounds of railroad cars, and empty bottles of Jax beer all over the place. In the bathroom, one can luxuriate in a hot tub and listen to the tunes of Xaviar Cugat. Periodically a paper boy comes to collect and you are free to smooch. Too much smooching, though, will have you led away via the kindness of strangers.

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I rarely drink beer. It's the brew of peasants.

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Have you ever attended my talk on The Perils of Alcohol?

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EVERYONE benefits from my Perils of Alcohol talk. Aske Yenta. She was a filthy lush before she attended my talk. Now she's a different woman. Not better; just different.

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Harpo has such smooth legs.

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The APPLE TREE room. Guests walk into this room and find that they're in a veritable Garden of Eden. There is lush foliage everywhere and a large apple tree dominates the room. Working waterfalls adds even more atmosphere. There's one cavil though: many female guests find themselves talking to large snakes which tend to slither across the floor. We discourage patrons from responding to these creatures.

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