The Official Adam Pascal Love Thread, part three — Page 451

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#11251

Adam's Slow Lovin'

Posted: 12/30/05 at 6:12pm

Hey everybody. Sorry to see things aren't much better than when I left this morning. So I am officially a wimp. I didn't say anything to my friend.

I recognize the addiction to being alive.

#11252

Adam's Slow Lovin'

Posted: 12/30/05 at 6:13pm

Did you have an ok time anyway?

A work of art is an invitation to love.

#11253

Adam's Slow Lovin'

Posted: 12/30/05 at 6:14pm

Yea, it was fun. But my neck is spazzing out from the position I was in.

I recognize the addiction to being alive.

#11254

Adam's Slow Lovin'

Posted: 12/30/05 at 6:15pm

Why? Where were you sitting?

A work of art is an invitation to love.

#11255

The fifth ring (the highest one) at the New York State Theater. The seats weren't even in rows, they were these singles seats and almost half the stage was cut off from our eyeline. We were leaning over the edge so we could see. We tried to move during intermission, but we ran into a mean usher, so we returned to the painful seats.

I recognize the addiction to being alive.

#11256

Adam's Slow Lovin'

Posted: 12/30/05 at 6:17pm

Too close?

"If there was a Mount Rushmore for Broadway scores, "West Side Story" would be front and center. It snaps, it crackles it pops! It surges with a roar, its energy and sheer life undiminished by the years" - NYPost reviewer Elisabeth Vincentelli

#11257

Adam's Slow Lovin'

Posted: 12/30/05 at 6:18pm

Ouch. How high up is it?

A work of art is an invitation to love.

#11258

Adam's Slow Lovin'

Posted: 12/30/05 at 6:21pm

VERY high. It was probably more enjoyable for me and my friend than other people since we're familiar with most of the dancers so we could tell who they were from far away.

I recognize the addiction to being alive.

#11259

Adam's Slow Lovin'

Posted: 12/30/05 at 6:22pm

Stuff that high scares me.

*shiver*
Something's wrong. It's not even that cold in here! *buries head in hands*

A work of art is an invitation to love.

#11260

Adam's Slow Lovin'

Posted: 12/30/05 at 6:24pm

Do you still feel sick, or just cold?

I recognize the addiction to being alive.

#11261

Adam's Slow Lovin'

Posted: 12/30/05 at 6:24pm

Aww, I was in the last row at Carnegie Hall, which is like 6 floors. I sat down and got dizzy and thought it would be awful but it was for Lea Salonga's concert and being able to make her out but just hear everything was enough, and fortunately I wasn't that dizzy.

#11262

Adam's Slow Lovin'

Posted: 12/30/05 at 6:28pm

Not really sick. Just... crappy. I'm cold and shaky, and trying everything in my power not to just lay in bed and cry. My list of things I've screwed up is growing; and I'm beginning to think that some of the scars I've gotten on this break will never, ever go away. They threaten to become very permanent, and I'm trying so hard to fix them, but I can't do any of it right.

I don't know how to get myself out of this mess. I feel so... caged in, and like everywhere I turn is a total dead-end.

A work of art is an invitation to love.

#11263

Adam's Slow Lovin'

Posted: 12/30/05 at 6:30pm

Anything we can do to make you feel better? We don't like you being so sad.

I recognize the addiction to being alive.

#11264

Adam's Slow Lovin'

Posted: 12/30/05 at 6:36pm

I don't know what to do. Now a misunderstanding-induced mistake on my part has one of the people who so consistently can make me feel better threatening to refuse communicating with me at all. She's already cut me off in all but one way, and my gut instinct is to keep trying, but I'm afraid of driving her away. I just want to fix what I did, and I'm so f*cked up that I can't even do that right.

And the worst part of it is that because my gut instinct is not to give up and throw things away, if she shuts out the last way I have to communicate with her, it's only a matter of time before something gets said in public, and it gets even worse, if it can't be dealt with privately. I dont' want it to come to that because it's not right, but... sigh.

I've broken so many relationships lately. If I break this one too... I can't. I have to fix it.

A work of art is an invitation to love.

Updated On: 12/30/05 at 06:36 PM

#11265

Adam's Slow Lovin'

Posted: 12/30/05 at 6:36pm

Maybe you'll feel better if you do give in and lay a bed and cry a bit and get some of it out?

Meh. I'm leaving soon for Newsical and feeling pretty apathetic, that's weird for me--not really excited. Well, maybe I'll feel better when I get there.

#11266

Adam's Slow Lovin'

Posted: 12/30/05 at 6:38pm

Maybe, but that's not going to fix any of the crap that's MAKING me want to do that. It's not going to make my friend talk to me, it's not going to make my brother talk to me. It's not going to make me have plans tomorrow night, or get my friends to stop drinking their brains away. It's not going to take back how many people I've hurt because I'm confused and bored and unhappy here.

I have to fix those things myself, and damn it, I'm trying -- but I can't do right by it.

A work of art is an invitation to love.

Updated On: 12/30/05 at 06:38 PM

#11267

Adam's Slow Lovin'

Posted: 12/30/05 at 6:39pm

You know what I would do? Go for a looong walk. The fresh air will do you good. Just get out of the house, and...walk. It doesn't matter where. You can't mull things over in the place that's causing you so much pain.

"Blow out the candles, Robert, and make a wish. Want something. Want something."

Wishes come true, not free.

#11268

Adam's Slow Lovin'

Posted: 12/30/05 at 6:40pm

Not that I really know anything about your situation, but if this person/relationship is really that important to you, you shouldn't give up. Just keep trying as much as you can handle.

I recognize the addiction to being alive.

#11269

Adam's Slow Lovin'

Posted: 12/30/05 at 6:41pm

My parents might think that's weird...

But even still, that's not going to fix anything. I just want to be allowed to fix stuff. I don't know how to get that. I hate leaving things sour, and I hate not knowing what to do. Going for a walk isn't going to help me know whether I should try to be nice to my brother, or let him hold out this fight -- or whether I should keep trying to get my friend to understand that I made a mistake, or if I should just let her cool off and hope on everything I have that she'll change her mind.

A work of art is an invitation to love.

#11270

Adam's Slow Lovin'

Posted: 12/30/05 at 6:44pm

I recognize the addiction to being alive.

#11271

Adam's Slow Lovin'

Posted: 12/30/05 at 6:45pm

Elphie has a point, I think getting out of the house would be a good idea. And true, crying won't fix anything, but...I dunno, if I have a lot of **** on my mind I don't feel wonderful after crying but I feel a teeny bit more functional, I dunno. At the very least w/ so much going on in your mind it's not necessary to add fighting crying to the list.

When do you go back? I have family stuff NYE and day but am free the next couple of days...if you wanna see the Producers or something or wanna go somewhere near you w/ me to help get you out of the house, lemme know.

#11272

Adam's Slow Lovin'

Posted: 12/30/05 at 6:54pm

Anyway, I hope everyone's day/night improves...somehow watching the end of Shrek 2 is making me smile...I'll be back later

#11273

Adam's Slow Lovin'

Posted: 12/30/05 at 6:54pm

Truthfully, I only feel better when things are better. Sobbing into my pillow is so temporary.

"I'm not much company, you'll find."
But thanks, wrq.

A work of art is an invitation to love.

#11274

Adam's Slow Lovin'

Posted: 12/30/05 at 6:58pm

I know walking may not fix anything, but it will clear your head, and at least give you a release. Just tell your parents that they are right and you need to get out of the house.

Honestly, when I'm angry or stressed or upset, I bolt out of the house and walk as fast as I can to nowhere and let my mind wander. It's amazing how lethargic(?) it is. I may not be the right thing for you, but it's worth a shot, if you are up for it.

"Blow out the candles, Robert, and make a wish. Want something. Want something."

Wishes come true, not free.

#11275

Adam's Slow Lovin'

Posted: 12/30/05 at 7:02pm

A walk sounds really good right now, but it's too dark out. I miss being able to go on long bike rides. I used to do a five mile one every day when it was warm.

Now I just go to the mall and spend money I don't have. It's a bad way to deal.

Feel better, Emcee.

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