The Official Raúl E. Esparza "Spread the Love" Thread, part two- Page 161

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 11/27/06 at 9:42pm

I know, SM2. I must ask, though, what is it that I'm to be suspected of?

Updated On: 11/27/06 at 09:42 PM

[Shiksa Goddess2]

Posted: 11/27/06 at 9:47pm

Well, to go off of Elphie a little- I've been thinking it over, and I believe that when I first commented on the NYTimes article I said that I was a bit uncomfortable reading some of the things, but I don't think it really ever had anything to do with sexuality. I was already aware of all that. But to hear all these things that he's gone through with his family, wife, and ex-boyfriend... it was unsettling, because I don't like to hear about bad things happening to people I care about (care about may be the wrong word here, since it implies I actually know the man, but I think you get what I mean). It saddened me, not because I think Raul is perfect and lives in a bubble of kittens, love, and happiness, but because I knew that doing Company must be hard for him, but now I *get* how very difficult it is for him to do that show every night.

In short, I want to give him a hug and make it all go away...

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 11/27/06 at 9:53pm

I would hesitate to say he didn't consider how much the show would impact him when he took the job, but I must say, even taking on the role was certainly an act of bravery. I mean, he knew the material going in.

[Ariella]

Posted: 11/27/06 at 9:59pm

And the fact that he embraces the number that scares him the most emotionally (Being Alive). He isn't shrinking from the implications or the manner in which the show relates to his personal life, and that's also pretty brave.

I know what you mean about the article, Elphie. Some of it seemed so personal that I wasn't sure I should be privy to it and all. Like, not my business. But since he was the one who put it out there, I admire him greatly for it.

I'm having fun picturing Raul in a bubble of kittens now

[Shiksa Goddess2]

Posted: 11/27/06 at 10:04pm

*pets* (<-- you can decide for yourselves if that's directed towards the kittens or Raul ). I know that he knew what he was getting himself into, and I greatly admire him for taking on something so personal in relation to his own life, but it still makes me sad to think that he has to go to that part of himself every night, 'cause that is no easy task.

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 11/27/06 at 10:06pm

Could be good therapy. Who really knows?

[StageManager2]

Posted: 11/27/06 at 10:07pm

"I must ask, though, what is it that I'm to be suspected of?"

Mark David Chapman -- need I say more?

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 11/27/06 at 10:11pm

I am so confused.

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 11/27/06 at 10:13pm

I Googled. I knew I should've known.



I know, I know, winky faces, but

For the record, the person who introduced me was IN the show. =P

Updated On: 11/27/06 at 10:13 PM

[ElphieDefiesGravity]

Posted: 11/27/06 at 10:20pm

*gasp!* Emcee would never kill anyone! She's not THAT crazy.
Geez.

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 11/27/06 at 10:22pm

Only half, duh.

[ElphieDefiesGravity]

Posted: 11/27/06 at 10:32pm

Wait...half crazy, or half sane?

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 11/27/06 at 10:33pm

Is the glass half empty or is it half full?

[ElphieDefiesGravity]

Posted: 11/27/06 at 10:38pm

Don't forget the lemon juice!


I really should be writing my essay about Socrates right now, but discussing insanity is much more entertaining.

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 11/27/06 at 10:39pm

Insanity which I apparently possess.

[ElphieDefiesGravity]

Posted: 11/27/06 at 10:43pm

Well, if you can ask yourself if you're crazy, then you're not crazy. Only crazy people never think they're crazy. Proof says so.

SOOO, all you have to do is ask yourself if you are crazy, and that means you're not. Voila!

Here's a script for you, just in case you forget:

Emcee: Am I crazy/insane/coocoo, etc?
Answer: no....of COURSE not....

See? Easy!

[StageManager2]

Posted: 11/27/06 at 10:45pm

*hollering*

I not crazy! I not crazy!

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 11/27/06 at 10:56pm

Aw, I love Proof.

There IS something sort of serious I'd like to say, though.

The thing about it is that while yes, SM2, I get that you were (presumably) joking. So this isn't an attack on you, it's just something what you said got me thinking about. It was kind of a ridiculous joke to me (I have a sense of humor, but I'm also sensitive), but it gets me thinking; do I look crazy to people who don't really know me or know anything about who I am? Maybe so. It's easy to assume that someone who retains details very easily and who harbors a lot of information she probably wouldn't be expected to just scrounged around the internet in some desperate obsessive need of it -- without for a moment seeing the flip side of that coin. That has conditioned me to be pretty defensive.

I said to someone today that I've been getting myself into a lot of trouble here lately because there's that passionate tenacity that makes some people sort of want to kill me. And I can deal with that because I'm learning lessons, as someone presumably young and stupid needs to do.

Certainly, in a few days, I'll think it's silly that I've been so high strung lately about a few fairly inconsequential opinions. And I guess that is the downfall of said passionate tenacity -- and why it makes people kind of want to kill me.

I guess that while I do take for granted that a lot of people around here know me very, very well, and have a decent idea of who I am (hell, many of them have met me!), on the same token, a lot of people find it very easy to forget that believing in something and liking a decent debate doesn't mean you're crazy. And, on a more personal level, I think that people very easily forget that -- especially amongst people who engage in boards and forums like this -- a fan is hardly ever "just" a fan. Being informed (in conjunction with very strongly believing in something) doesn't mean you're nuts. It doesn't make you a stalker. And starting off as a fan with no real legitimate ties to the business doesn't mean that's who you remain, someone cut off from the "real" world of this industry. People's lives change. Kids grow up. Crazy teenagers become adults with actual brains who people trust.

A lot of stupid things I said years ago have come back to bite me in the ass lately. When you say something online, it stays there forever, and people don't forget. Lessons learned by the young and stupid.

Maybe it's some sort of unavoidable unfortunate reality that I'm going to be judged by (jokingly or not) people who don't know anything about me other than what they see on here, by virtue of the fact that it's not the least bit smart to post about personal and professional affiliations. It's annoying to have to be vague, but it's kind of neccessary. I can't just come out and say "look, I'm not a crazy stalker fangirl, but rather am x, y and z." But at the same time, it's so easy to ignore that possibility and just assume, isn't it?

Updated On: 11/28/06 at 10:56 PM

[ElphieDefiesGravity]

Posted: 11/27/06 at 11:13pm

I think it is unfortunate that age is such a big factor in stuff like this. "Older" people can say crazy, wierd, potentially debatable stuff here all the time and, though they may get a debate, they won't usually be penalized or whatever because they are old. Some of the younger people here are much more mature and have much better things to say than many of the older posters.
Anyway, passionate tenacity...That's something I wish I had. I am passionate, but tenacious is not something I would call myself, at least not in writing. Even if you think it makes people sort of want to kill you, I think you're lucky you have it, and I think it'll make you a great theatre critic, if that's what you want to be.

...yeah.
I love Proof, too.

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 11/27/06 at 11:17pm

Some might call it difficult and argumentative. =P But there's such a taboo on youth because it's construed with naivete, and that's hard to contest. But, of course, it's much easier to slap the psychotic fangirl label on someone not even legally able to drink than it is on someone who's in their thirties, or something, whereas that person is automatically presumed legitimate. And that's where it gets messy.

[Shiksa Goddess2]

Posted: 11/28/06 at 12:38am

Well, I don't know if you'd consider this a compliment, but I think your passionate debating is part of the reason you are so well-known on these boards. It seems like everyone knows who you're referring to when you say "Em". I think that says something about your online personality. I think you always sound very well-versed and educated in your writing, and that is how I judge a debate- not on age or whether that person has enough info on the subject to be considered a 'stalker'.

[luvtheEmcee]

Posted: 11/28/06 at 12:45am

No, I do, and I appreciate it. :) I just push some buttons too far, and I don't realize it until it's over.

Eh, I'm just in a weird place today.

[Ariella]

Posted: 11/28/06 at 6:07pm

As cliche as it sounds, standing up for what you think is a good thing. Like Shiksa said, you always validate your opinions and avoid generalizations. With that as the case, people can respect your opinions without necessarily agreeing with them.

It's true that we often get labeled as stalkers and crazy fangirls. The paradigm for young people as a whole tends to be represented by the most vocal (e.g. Adam's fanbase and some of the myspace crowd), with everyone else thrown in whether or not it's deserved. And from what I've observed on the boards, you're hardly a "psychotic fangirl" because you always acquit yourself very well.

And just for the records, I've never had any impulse to kill you

[Shiksa Goddess2]

Posted: 11/28/06 at 11:14pm

Less than an hour until it's Opening Day of Company! Anyone know if there will be any press about it tomorrow? Like in the NYTimes or something?

[ElphieDefiesGravity]

Posted: 11/28/06 at 11:49pm

Wait, it's opening tomorrow night? I thought it was Thursday...

Oooh, I get it. Previews on the 30th, open on the 29th, right? I got confused for a second.