Aw, I love Proof.
There IS something sort of serious I'd like to say, though.
The thing about it is that while yes, SM2, I get that you were (presumably) joking. So this isn't an attack on you, it's just something what you said got me thinking about. It was kind of a ridiculous joke to me (I have a sense of humor, but I'm also sensitive), but it gets me thinking; do I look crazy to people who don't really know me or know anything about who I am? Maybe so. It's easy to assume that someone who retains details very easily and who harbors a lot of information she probably wouldn't be expected to just scrounged around the internet in some desperate obsessive need of it -- without for a moment seeing the flip side of that coin. That has conditioned me to be pretty defensive.
I said to someone today that I've been getting myself into a lot of trouble here lately because there's that passionate tenacity that makes some people sort of want to kill me. And I can deal with that because I'm learning lessons, as someone presumably young and stupid needs to do.
Certainly, in a few days, I'll think it's silly that I've been so high strung lately about a few fairly inconsequential opinions. And I guess that is the downfall of said passionate tenacity -- and why it makes people kind of want to kill me.
I guess that while I do take for granted that a lot of people around here know me very, very well, and have a decent idea of who I am (hell, many of them have met me!), on the same token, a lot of people find it very easy to forget that believing in something and liking a decent debate doesn't mean you're crazy. And, on a more personal level, I think that people very easily forget that -- especially amongst people who engage in boards and forums like this -- a fan is hardly ever "just" a fan. Being informed (in conjunction with very strongly believing in something) doesn't mean you're nuts. It doesn't make you a stalker. And starting off as a fan with no real legitimate ties to the business doesn't mean that's who you remain, someone cut off from the "real" world of this industry. People's lives change. Kids grow up. Crazy teenagers become adults with actual brains who people trust.
A lot of stupid things I said years ago have come back to bite me in the ass lately. When you say something online, it stays there forever, and people don't forget. Lessons learned by the young and stupid.
Maybe it's some sort of unavoidable unfortunate reality that I'm going to be judged by (jokingly or not) people who don't know anything about me other than what they see on here, by virtue of the fact that it's not the least bit smart to post about personal and professional affiliations. It's annoying to have to be vague, but it's kind of neccessary. I can't just come out and say "look, I'm not a crazy stalker fangirl, but rather am x, y and z." But at the same time, it's so easy to ignore that possibility and just assume, isn't it?
A work of art is an invitation to love.
Updated On: 11/28/06 at 10:56 PM
I must ask, though, what is it that I'm to be suspected of? 
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