The One Minute Musical- Page 6
The One Minute Musical
re: The One Minute Musical#125
Posted: 1/8/05 at 5:37pm
I Love You, You're Perfect Now Change
lala lala some skits about relationships! oh wait now kids! Wait more skits about relationships!
Curtain
re: The One Minute Musical#126
Posted: 1/8/05 at 5:38pm
Guys and Dolls
Nicely-Nicely Johnson: Hey, Nathan, why haven't you found a place for the game?
Nathan Detroit: Because I haven't. So sue me.
Sarah Brown and the Mission band enter
Sarah Brown: Sinners, will you repent?
Nathan: No. So sue me.
Sarah and the Band exit. Sky Masterson enters
Sky Masterson: Nathan, you old promoter you.
Nathan: So what if I am, sue me.
Sky : For random fun, i bet I can take any doll you say to Havana.
Sarah walks on. Nathan points to her.
Sky: Her?
Nathan: Yeah, her. So sue me.
Sky: Excuse me Miss, wanna go to Havana.
Sarah: No. I hate your kind.
Sky: I'm rich and handsome. And I'll find you some sinners.
Sarah: Oh, okay.
They go to Havana. Sarah gets drunk.
Adelaide: Nathan, we've been engaged for 14 years and haven't been married.
Nathan: So sue me, baby.
Sky (To Gamblers): I'm gonna roll you all for your souls.
Gambler #1: That's kind of a random proposal.
Sky wins the roll
They go to the Prayer Meeting
Nicely sings the show-stopping 'Sit Down, You're Rocking the Boat'
The brilliance of the show is then slightly decreased by the anticlimatic ending
Nathan: Yeah, so sue me.
Curtain
The opposite of creation isn't war, it's stagnation.
Broadway Legend Joined: 10/6/04
re: The One Minute Musical#127
Posted: 1/8/05 at 5:38pmLOVE IT, Zippyjen!!!
re: The One Minute Musical#128
Posted: 1/8/05 at 5:48pm
STARLIGHT EXPRESS
Control: This is control! This is control! Tonight is the most important night in the history of the world!
(knock on door)
Mother: Put those trains away and get into bed!
Starlight Express, Starlight Express
are you real? Yes? Or No?
Starlight Express. Starlight Express...
Control: Wow! I think I'm dreaming now!
Rusty: Hi. My name's Rusty. I'm a train and I'm in love with a girl train named Pearl.
Electra: Hi. I'm Electra and I share my name with one of the cats in CATS.
POPPA: Hi. I'm Poppa and I'm kinda like Old Deuteronomy.
Diana: I'm Diana and I'm U.N.C.O.U.P.L.E.D. you B.A.S.T.A.R.D.!
Rusty: Oh, No! I have to win the race to impress Pearl!
(STARLIGHT EXPRESS ENTERS)
Rusty: STARLIGHT EXPRESS!!!
Starlight Express: Hello. I'm Starlight Express. Only you have the power within you! Just say it! "I AM THE STARLIGHT!"
Rusty: I AM THE STARLIGHT! OMG now anything is possible!
(he wins the race.)
Pearl: Oh, Rusty, I LOVE YOU!
Rusty; I LOVE YOU TOO!!!
Pappa: Hey, there's a light at the end of the tunnel! Lets all skate around a little more!
ALL: YAY!
(Control wakes up)
Control: What the hell am I on???
CURTAIN
Updated On: 1/8/05 at 05:48 PM
Broadway Legend Joined: 10/6/04
re: The One Minute Musical#129
Posted: 1/8/05 at 6:06pm
HAIR
(A "Happening" in Central Park -- 1968 )
Hippies: This is the age of Aquarius!
Claude: Oh, sh*t! I've been drafted by the uptight establishment government!!!
Berger: So burn your draft card, man! We're ALL going to do it at the end of the First Act--PLUS take all our clothes off for no apparant reason!
Hippies: Hara Krishna!
Sheila: I love you Berger--I wish I was pregnant with YOUR baby, NOT Claude's!
Hippies: We're having a "Be-In"!
Claude: Oh, man, I CAN'T burn my draft card! Although I think this country is really ****ed up, it's still MY Country--and I'll have to do what it asks! See, I'm now wearing an Army Uniform with a Gomer Pyle haircut!
Hippies: Let The Sunshine In!
CURTAIN
re: The One Minute Musical#130
Posted: 1/8/05 at 6:08pmMary_Ethel nice one!
re: The One Minute Musical#131
Posted: 1/8/05 at 6:11pm
hey... the nudity is the ONLY apparent reason to even attend a production of HAIR... 
Broadway Legend Joined: 3/28/04
Broadway Legend Joined: 10/6/04
re: The One Minute Musical#134
Posted: 1/8/05 at 11:03pm
1776
John Adams: These colonies ought to be INDEPENDENT! NOW!!!
Continental Congress: Sit down, John!
John Adams: I'm obnoxious and disliked--so I'll never put this Independence thing over! Wait, I'll get that egocentric nitwit Richard Henry Lee to make a motion for Independence!
Richard Henry Lee: At your service, Johnny!
John Adams: Now we need someone to write it--what about that REALLY tall guy who never says anything?
Thomas Jefferson: C'mon, Adams, my wife just got in town today--she and I haven't had a good lay in three months!
Ben Franklin: Oh, I can help with THAT!
Thomas Jefferson: Okay--I wrote your freakin' declaration. The Continental Congress butchered the thing like a prime cut of beef--but they HAVE signed it! NOW, I'm going down on my wife like you wouldn't believe!!!
CURTAIN
re: The One Minute Musical#135
Posted: 1/8/05 at 11:25pm
tick, tick... BOOM!
Jon: I'm 30. My relationship with my girlfriend is dying. My friend has AIDS. Happy Birthday to me.
Broadway Legend Joined: 9/29/04
re: The One Minute Musical#137
Posted: 1/9/05 at 1:30amOkay, CATSNYrevival. I'm not one of those Idina freaks, but come on. I know that was probably supposed to be a joke, but that was absolutely uncalled for. Really, really disrespectful.
re: The One Minute Musical#138
Posted: 1/9/05 at 4:05amOMG! This thread is great. All of them were just awesome. And Lael honey, I finally read yours. It's absolutely fab love.
Broadway Legend Joined: 3/28/04
re: The One Minute Musical#140
Posted: 1/9/05 at 9:49pm
BWW.com Musical
Some BWW Posters: Hey guys, let's write a musical!
Other BWW Posters: Yeah! Put me in!!!
Some BWW Posters: Now all we need is for BWW.com to produce it
Rob&Craig: Uhhhhhhhhhhhh....no
The End
re: The One Minute Musical#141
Posted: 1/9/05 at 11:18pm
Pacific Overtures
Reciter: NIPPON! The floating kingdom. An island empire that for centuries has lived in perfect peace, undisturbed by intruders from across the sea. We have no troubles here. Here life is beautiful. The girls are beautiful. Even the orchestra is beautiful...
Kayama: I must stop the invasion of the barbarians.
Tamate: There is no other way.
Fisherman/Thief: Oh sh!t! Americans! They've come to bring Democracy...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Shogun: *grunt*
Shogun's mother: Have some tea, my lord. Some poisoned tea, my lord.
(Shogun dies)
Kayama/Manjiro: Why don't we put some mats on the ground where the Americans stand in the Treaty House? That way they never touch holy japanese soil.
Madam: I own a brothel. These are my prostitutes.
Men dressed as women: Hi!
Madam: Isn't Japan weird? Let's go get some American CocK...tails!
Reciter: We don't know what happened at the Treaty House...
Old Man: I was there.
Young Man: And thanks to time travel techniques, I AM there.
Warrior: So am I.
Commodore Perry: ROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRR!
American Admiral: Hello!
British Admiral: Hello!
A Bunch of other Admirals: Hello!
Kayama: I'm going to sing a song about a hat, and by the end of the song I am going to be much older, and I will fully support Western Civilisation.
Manjiro: I don't like America.
Sailors: Look! A Geisha. Let's go sing a really pretty song that audiences will love, but they're going to be really disturbed because what we're really saying is that we're horny and want to have sex.
Man dressed as woman: Oh no! Father!
Father: What are you doing? I must kill you!
Sailors: But we sang a really pretty song!
(Father kills one of the sailors. Others run away)
Kayama: I really like America
Manjiro: For that you will die.
(Kayama dies)
Emperor: I know I haven't had much to say, but I've decided I like America, so the events of this play have been for nothing.
Audience: *groan*
Reciter: SO! Where are your troubles now? Forgotten?! I told you. Here life is beautiful. The girls are beautiful. Even the orchestra is beautiful. It is now 1976 and Japan is rich.
Welcome to Japan.
(Audience starts crying because the Reciter is so sad when he says these last lines)
CURTAIN
Updated On: 1/10/05 at 11:18 PM
re: The One Minute Musical#142
Posted: 1/10/05 at 2:39amThese musicals just keep getting longer and longer...
re: The One Minute Musical#143
Posted: 1/10/05 at 2:42amAh, but they also keep getting better!
re: The One Minute Musical#145
Posted: 1/10/05 at 2:50amReally? I would have thought more like five. Read it aloud to yourself...see how long it takes.
Broadway Legend Joined: 5/31/04
re: The One Minute Musical#146
Posted: 1/10/05 at 1:03pm
Anne of Green Gables
Anne: even though I'm not a boy, can you please keep me?
Marilla: no.
Matthew: please?
Anne: I caught you smiling at me!
Marilla: okay.
re: The One Minute Musical#147
Posted: 1/10/05 at 1:21pm
The Fantastiks:
El Gallo: Try to remember!
Louisa: I'm sixteen, and naive, and more than a little strange. Matt, you're pretty!
Matt: I'm just slightly older, and her neighbour, and have a strange fascination with the insides of leaves. Louisa, you're pretty!
Fathers: Kids, don't marry each other! *wink, wink*
El Gallo: Ha ha, SPAIN! *kidnaps Louisa*
Matt: Not so fast!
*swordfight, El Gallo lets Matt win*
Matt: Whee! I love you, Louisa!
Louisa: I love you too, Matt!
Fathers: YES!
Intermission
Louisa: Matt, you bore me.
Matt: Oh, really? Well, to get you back, I'm going to go get ridiculously hurt!
El Gallo: You called? *beats Matt silly*
Louisa: Hmm...I wish a mysterious stranger would--
El Gallo: You called? *hands Louisa a mask*
Fathers: Well, this wasn't what we intended at all.
Matt: *limps in* Louisa, they were you!
Louisa: *dances in* Matt, they were you!
Fathers: Okay, that's better.
El Gallo: Try to remember!
Curtain.
re: The One Minute Musical#149
Posted: 1/11/05 at 1:04amThank you! I've been listening to the musical all day for some reason...my parents actually sang "They Were You" at their wedding.
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