The One Minute Musical- Page 9
The One Minute Musical
re: The One Minute Musical#200
Posted: 4/3/05 at 4:53pm
Zombie Prom:
Toffee: Hi, i'm a sweet, perfect, All-American teen and I love JONNY!
Jonny: I'm an orphan from the wrong side of the tracks who spells his name without an 'H' and I love Toffee!
Ms. Strict: I'm the beyotch Principal with a stick up her butt and I don't like mister Jon-without-an-H!
Toffee's parents: Break up with that hoodlum, NOW!
Toffee: Okay!
Jonny: (kills himself)
Toffee: WAAAAAAAAH!!
Toffee's classmates: Get over it, girlfriend!
Jonny: I'm back! Go to Prom with me, Toffee!
Toffee: NOOOOOO I can't date a ZOMBIE!
Jonny: NOBODY likes me!!! waaaahhh!!
Eddie Flagrante: I'm a sleezey news reporter who will DEFEND Jonny's right to attend school!
Ms. Strict: Jonny you CANNOT attend Prom!
(students protest this decision)
Ms. Strict: Jonny, it turns out, I am your MOTHER who gave you up! And in a plot twist everyone saw from a mile away, EDDIE is your father! I love you now!!
Jonny: YAY!!
Toffe: I love you, Jonny!
(everyone sings and dances at the big Prom)
Audience: AWWWW!!
THE END!
re: The One Minute Musical#201
Posted: 4/3/05 at 5:22pm
A Man of No Importance
Alfie: I live with my sister, I'm in my mid-forties, and I love Oscar Wilde. Hint-hint...
Lily: I refuse to marry the butcher until my brother gets married.
Robbie: I wear tight T-shirts and go to bars.
Adele: I can't be a princess. I'm an Irish hick.
Alfie: Salome.
Robbie (to Alfie): Come drinking with me...
Alfie: *I want you* I mean, sure.
Oscar Wilde: Be who you are.
Robbie: I'm banging a married woman.
The Church: You can't do Salome. Filth!
Alfie: I'm gay.
Lily: Woe is me. Woe is me. Now I'll never get married. Oh, dear God, I'm a fifty year old virgin!
Adele: I'm knocked up. I'm leaving. Love who you love, or whatever.
Robbie: Hey, Alf. I hope we can still be friends. I'm wearing a nice tight T-shirt.
Alfie: I'm still gay! Yippee!
CURTAIN
Updated On: 4/3/05 at 05:22 PM
re: The One Minute Musical#202
Posted: 4/3/05 at 5:39pm
Tommy:
Nurse: It's A BOY, Mrs. Walker!
Mrs. Walker: YAY!
Lover: Got a feeling 21 is gonna be a good year...
Captain Walker: Not so much.
(Captain Walker kills the Lover)
Mrs. Walker: Oh NO, Tommy saw EVERYTHING!
Captain Walker: No he didn't...You didn't hear or see ANYTHING!
Tommy: Okay... (Becomes deaf, dumb and blind.)
(Time passes. Tommy is phycially and sexually abused by his uncle and his cousin.)
Tommy: Look, I can play PINBALL!
Everyone: WOW!
Mrs. Walker: Go to the mirror, boy!
Mirror: (SMASHES)
Tommy: I am a God and millions worship me! And I have all my senses back! It is my duty to go and teach the ways of Pinball!
Audience: YAY!!
THE END!
re: The One Minute Musical#203
Posted: 4/3/05 at 5:44pm
Amour
Dusoliel: I'm meek.
Isabelle: I'm in a loveless marriage.
D: I can walk through walls. I love you, Isabelle.
I: I'm in love with the man who walks through walls!
French People: Passparteur! Passparteur!
Isabelle's Husband: I f*ck whores.
D: Love me, Isabelle.
I: You're kind of a dork. I mean, I love you, too.
D: Let's have sex.
I: Okay. My husband's a Nazi.
D: Oh my God, I'm stuck in this f*cking wall.
Gary Coleman and Nicky: Schadenfreude!
D: Wrong show, assholes!
CURTAIN
re: The One Minute Musical#204
Posted: 4/3/05 at 6:43pm
I read Doxy's one minute musical on Sunday in the Park last night! It had me howling!
Broadway Legend Joined: 10/6/04
re: The One Minute Musical#205
Posted: 4/3/05 at 7:28pm
CARNIVAL
Lili: Well, here I am, an orphan girl from Mira, stuck at this Carnival, and that horny magician just tried to rape me! I guess the only way out is suicide!
Carrot Top: STOP, Lili! WE Love You!!!
Lili: And I Love you as well, Carrot Top! Only I HATE Paul--that evil puppetmaster!
Paul: But I AM the VOICE of Carrot Top, Lili! You SHOULD Love me as well!
Lili: Noooo... I HATE you, Paul. I LOVE Carrot Top.
Paul: Lili, let's try this again. I AM Carrot Top.
Lili: Wait a minute! I LOVE a Puppet--but I HATE the man who really IS the puppet? Oh god, I think I need Therapy...
CURTAIN
Broadway Legend Joined: 10/6/04
re: The One Minute Musical#206
Posted: 4/3/05 at 8:19pm
ONCE UPON A MATTRESS
Dauntless: Mama, WHY can't I get married?
Agravain: You WILL get married Son, we just need a SPECIAL girl for you!!!
Winifred: Well, here I am--just got here via the Moat!
Dauntless: Oh, Mama, SHE is SPECIAL!!!
Agravain: Um... Um.. OK, I'll tell you what--if a pea disturbs her rest--you can marry her.
(next morning)
Winifred: GEEZ! Where do you get your Mattresses from here around here, an Armour Factory? I couldn't sleep a WINK last night!
Dauntless: YAY! Mama, I can marry her!!!
Winnifred: And I'll get some sleep just fine on the top of this Breakfast Table.
The Jester & Minstrel: Thank GOD the Hardware Section of Wal-Mart is open all night!!!
CURTAIN
re: The One Minute Musical#207
Posted: 4/3/05 at 10:09pm
MARIE CHRISTINE
Greek Chorus: Medea on the Mississippi
Medea on the Mississippi
Medea on the Mississippi
Marie Christine: I'm a black voodoo priestess from New Orleans
Dante: I'm a white, mysterious sailor
MC: Love me!
D: Let's dance.
MC: I will kill my brother for you.
*goes to Chicago*
Mary Testa: There really is no need for my role, but I sing damn good!
D: I'm leaving you for my political boss' daughter.
MC: I'll be the fear of a fire at sea.
MT: Here I am again. Billy was sweet.
MC: I love my kids so much that I'm gonna kill them. Oh, yeah; I'm gonna kill your new wife, too.
D: No.
Greek Chorus (as the lights fade): Medea on the Mississippi
Medea on the Mississippi
Broadway Legend Joined: 10/6/04
re: The One Minute Musical#208
Posted: 4/3/05 at 10:23pm
NO STRINGS
David: Here I am, a Pulitzer Prize Winning Author--but now I'm just a ski bum in Paris!
Barbara: Yes, and I'm a top fashion in Paris! I'm also a "lady of color"--although I'm never referred to that way in the script!
David: Well, let's have a "No Strings" Relationship!
Barbara: Done. Now what?
David: I don't have a clue--it says here in the script now we're suppossed to pretend like we never met?
Barbara: Whatever. Why don't you sing about YOUR "Sweetest Sounds"--and I'll sing about MINE!!!
CURTAIN
re: The One Minute Musical#209
Posted: 4/3/05 at 10:36pm
A TREE GROWS IN BROOKLYN
Johnny: I'm the local singing casanova.
Katie: You kissed me once by accident. Now I love you
Cissy: Haaaaaaaaaary!
Harry: Jesus Christ, my name's not f*cking Harry!
J: Marry me.
C: Time to fake a pregnancy.
K: Look who's dancing!
*12 years later*
Francie: I love to read!
J: I have a drinking problem!
K: I have to work as a janitor because of my husband's drinking problem.
C: He had refinement.
J: I'm dead
F: Mom, I love you. Here's my diploma. You earned it, even if you dropped out of school in the third grade.
Everybody: I'll buy you a star!
The End
Broadway Legend Joined: 10/6/04
re: The One Minute Musical#210
Posted: 4/4/05 at 1:53am
DO I HEAR A WALTZ?
Leona: Well, here I am in Venice, a lonely, middle-aged American Schoolteacher...looking for some excitement.
Renato: Oooh! Multi Bella! I have some excitement for YOU!
Leona: WOW, this is TERRIFIC!!! Oh, Renato, let's get married!
Renato: Leona-I. I-. I have a wife and children.
Leona: You mean you've been screwing with me?
Renato: Yes.
Leona: Well, I've been screwed over royally, but it WAS exciting. I feel BETTER now. Home to America!
CURTAIN
Broadway Legend Joined: 6/1/04
re: The One Minute Musical#211
Posted: 4/4/05 at 10:04am
THE PAJAMA GAME
Studly Sid Sorokin takes over as manager of the Sleepy Time Pajama Facory.
The company's female employees drool. Babe Williams acts non-chalant.
Female Factory Workers: You're in love!
Babe: I'm NOT at all in love
Female Factory Workers: uh-huh
Meanwhile everyone is disgruntled and wants a 7 1/2 cent raise
Sid gets ahold of Babe and is instantly attractive and makes his move.
Sid: Wanna date Babe?
Babe: Umm, I don't the boss...
Sid: You're in love with me
Babe: No I'm not!
Sid: Yes you are!
Babe: No I'm not!
Everyone: Okay let's all take a break for the big company picnic
Sid: You're in love with me!
Babe: Okay, I kinda-sorta-like-you
Everyone: Let's take a break and go to Hernando's Hideaway
Sid: You're in love with me!
Babe: No I'm not!
Sid: You're in love with me!
Babe: No I'm not!
Everyone: Okay let's let off some 'Steam Heat' and then rally for our damned raise!
*The raise is granted*
Sid: You're in love with me!
Babe: Okay, you win - - - I'm in love with you. I'll wear the pajama tops, you wear the bottoms..Let's dance!
CURTAIN
re: The One Minute Musical#212
Posted: 4/4/05 at 4:04pm
Thanks Chrysanthemum!
I had fun writing it, I'm glad you enjoyed reading it!
These new ones are GREAT!
Joined: 12/31/69
re: The One Minute Musical#213
Posted: 4/4/05 at 8:50pm
ANNIE GET YOUR GUN:
Annie: I'm a cowgirl with big red hair that was played by Reba.
Bill: I'm a cowboy with my own show.
Annie: I can shoot a rifle.
Bill: Wanna be in my show?
Annie: Sure.
CURTAIN.
(My first try, what do you think?)
Broadway Legend Joined: 10/6/04
re: The One Minute Musical#214
Posted: 4/4/05 at 9:07pm
Pretty good for a first attempt, CO--go ahead and try another! 
Broadway Legend Joined: 10/6/04
re: The One Minute Musical#215
Posted: 4/4/05 at 11:24pm
DAMN YANKEES
Joe: Geez, I'd sell MY SOUL to The Devil if the Senators could win the Wolrd Series!!!
Applegate: Did somebody call? No problem, Joe, I've turned you into a fantabulous Ball Player! The Senators will win the World Series FOR SURE now!
Joe: But I miss my wife Meg!
Applgate: Oh, I've taken care of that! Meet my "Assistant"--Lola!!!
Lola: And whatever Lola wants--Lola GETS!
Joe: Gee, I'm torn between my love for my wife and my lust for this strumpet! But HEY, the Senators are WINNING ballgames!
Meg: But, Joe, A Man Doesn't Know!
Joe: You're RIGHT, Meg, I'm going to use my "escape cause" and come back to YOU--right AFTER the Senators clinch the pennant!
Meg: Oh, Joe, you're BACK.
Joe: Yes, Meg. But now I have "Heart"!!!
CURTAIN
Broadway Legend Joined: 10/6/04
re: The One Minute Musical#216
Posted: 4/8/05 at 3:20am
APPLAUSE
Margo: I'm a GREAT BIG Broadway Star!!!
Bill: You're also vain and self-immersed, Margo! Get OVER Yourself!!!
Eve: Yes, Miss Channing. Pick up your wardrobe from the cleaners? Manipulate the Producer so I become your understudy? Go on one night in your place and alert the Media? Have an affair with Bill? WHATEVER you say, Miss Channing!
Bill: Margo--you've lost the lead in the new show to Eve!
Margo: Oh, that's OK, Bill! Because you and I have--SOMETHING GREATER!!!
CURTAIN
Broadway Legend Joined: 10/6/04
re: The One Minute Musical#217
Posted: 4/9/05 at 8:52am
Rodgers & Hammerstein's CINDERELLA
Cinderella: Here I sit--in my own little corner, waiting to be magically transformed into a Beautiful Princess!
Fairy Godmother: But LOOK, Cinderella--you ARE a Princess!
Prince Charming: But do I love her because she's beautiful? NO, she's beautiful--because I love her! But WAIT--she left the ball. Oh, look! She left behind ONE slipper!
Portia: That slipper's MINE!
Joy: Shaddup--that slipper fits ME perfectly!
Cinderella: Kind sir, may I try on the slipper?
Prince Charming: It fits! LOOK! You ARE a Princess!
All: Impossible Things Are Happening Every Day!!!
CURTAIN
Broadway Legend Joined: 10/6/04
re: The One Minute Musical#218
Posted: 4/10/05 at 1:55pm
PAL JOEY
Joey: Hey, I'm a no-talent heel who thinks he can charm the socks off of ANYONE!
Vera: Let's try MY socks, darling. You bewitch--bother--and BEWILDER me.
Joey: COOL Vera! THANKS for getting me this penthouse suite and setting me up with my own nightclub!!!
Vera: Cheese it, Pal. I'm BORED with you. FINIS!!!
Joey: Well, I can still write a book...
CURTAIN
Broadway Legend Joined: 10/6/04
re: The One Minute Musical#219
Posted: 4/25/05 at 4:36am
THE MOST HAPPY FELLA
Rosabella: I'm LONELY--all I want is someone who needs me! WOW, somebody left an amethest tie pin as a tip--with a crazy "mash" note!
Tony: And that-a "mash note" REALLY paid off--Rosabella's a-comin' to Napa to MARRY me!
Rosabella: Marry you--you OLD MAN? I think NOT--excuse me while I have an affair with that hunk ranch-hand! GREAT--now I'm pregnant--and HE'S skipped town! NOW What do I do?
Tony: Ah, my Rosabella. I STILL a-LOVE-a-you-DESPITE all your faults.
Rosabella: Well, that's great, Spaghetti-Head,--but for starters--my name is AMY!!!
CURTAIN
Broadway Legend Joined: 10/6/04
re: The One Minute Musical#220
Posted: 4/25/05 at 4:52am
SHE LOVES ME
Georg: I HATE Working With YOU! THANK God I have "Dear Friend"--my secret penpal!
Amalia: Well, I HATE Working With You! THANK God I have "Dear Friend"--MY secret penpal!
Georg: Hold ON--"Dear Friend?"
Amalia: Yes! "Dear Friend!!!"
Georg: Oh, God. We're REALLY in love. You can skip that part where you sing about "Vanilla Ice Cream!"
CURTAIN
Broadway Legend Joined: 10/6/04
re: The One Minute Musical#221
Posted: 5/1/05 at 12:56pm
42ND STREET
Peggy: Hi, I just got off the bus from Allentown--I want to be in a Broadway Show!
Andy Lee: Well, kid, it looks like you've got the right stuff--you're now in the Chorus!!!
Dorothy: And, KID--THANKS to you--I just tripped over you and your clumsy ankle--I can't go on with the show!!!
Chorus Kids: Wa Wa, the Show's gonna close!
Annie: Wait a minute--that new kid Peggy can be the Star!
Peggy: But I'm going home to Allentown!
Julian: Not until you star in "Pretty Lady" and its a smash!
Peggy: The show IS a Smash!!! And I owe all to--Naughty, Bawdy, Gaughty, 42nd Street!
CURTAIN
re: The One Minute Musical#222
Posted: 5/1/05 at 12:58pmyes! I love this thread!
Broadway Legend Joined: 10/6/04
re: The One Minute Musical#223
Posted: 5/1/05 at 1:01pm
So go ahead and post a show, Emcee!
re: The One Minute Musical#224
Posted: 5/1/05 at 1:03pm
I just like it for its reading pleasure. I'm far from creative. 
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