The One Minute Musical — Page 9

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#201

re: The One Minute Musical

Posted: 4/3/05 at 4:53pm

Zombie Prom:

Toffee: Hi, i'm a sweet, perfect, All-American teen and I love JONNY!
Jonny: I'm an orphan from the wrong side of the tracks who spells his name without an 'H' and I love Toffee!
Ms. Strict: I'm the beyotch Principal with a stick up her butt and I don't like mister Jon-without-an-H!

Toffee's parents: Break up with that hoodlum, NOW!
Toffee: Okay!
Jonny: (kills himself)
Toffee: WAAAAAAAAH!!
Toffee's classmates: Get over it, girlfriend!

Jonny: I'm back! Go to Prom with me, Toffee!
Toffee: NOOOOOO I can't date a ZOMBIE!
Jonny: NOBODY likes me!!! waaaahhh!!
Eddie Flagrante: I'm a sleezey news reporter who will DEFEND Jonny's right to attend school!
Ms. Strict: Jonny you CANNOT attend Prom!
(students protest this decision)

Ms. Strict: Jonny, it turns out, I am your MOTHER who gave you up! And in a plot twist everyone saw from a mile away, EDDIE is your father! I love you now!!
Jonny: YAY!!
Toffe: I love you, Jonny!
(everyone sings and dances at the big Prom)

Audience: AWWWW!!

THE END!

Sunchips: Best Kept Secret in the chip aisle!!

Updated On: 4/3/05 at 04:53 PM

#202

re: The One Minute Musical

Posted: 4/3/05 at 5:22pm

A Man of No Importance

Alfie: I live with my sister, I'm in my mid-forties, and I love Oscar Wilde. Hint-hint...

Lily: I refuse to marry the butcher until my brother gets married.

Robbie: I wear tight T-shirts and go to bars.

Adele: I can't be a princess. I'm an Irish hick.

Alfie: Salome.

Robbie (to Alfie): Come drinking with me...

Alfie: *I want you* I mean, sure.

Oscar Wilde: Be who you are.

Robbie: I'm banging a married woman.

The Church: You can't do Salome. Filth!

Alfie: I'm gay.

Lily: Woe is me. Woe is me. Now I'll never get married. Oh, dear God, I'm a fifty year old virgin!

Adele: I'm knocked up. I'm leaving. Love who you love, or whatever.

Robbie: Hey, Alf. I hope we can still be friends. I'm wearing a nice tight T-shirt.

Alfie: I'm still gay! Yippee!

CURTAIN

Updated On: 4/3/05 at 05:22 PM

#203

re: The One Minute Musical

Posted: 4/3/05 at 5:39pm

Tommy:

Nurse: It's A BOY, Mrs. Walker!
Mrs. Walker: YAY!

Lover: Got a feeling 21 is gonna be a good year...
Captain Walker: Not so much.
(Captain Walker kills the Lover)

Mrs. Walker: Oh NO, Tommy saw EVERYTHING!
Captain Walker: No he didn't...You didn't hear or see ANYTHING!
Tommy: Okay... (Becomes deaf, dumb and blind.)

(Time passes. Tommy is phycially and sexually abused by his uncle and his cousin.)

Tommy: Look, I can play PINBALL!
Everyone: WOW!
Mrs. Walker: Go to the mirror, boy!
Mirror: (SMASHES)
Tommy: I am a God and millions worship me! And I have all my senses back! It is my duty to go and teach the ways of Pinball!

Audience: YAY!!

THE END!

Sunchips: Best Kept Secret in the chip aisle!!

#204

re: The One Minute Musical

Posted: 4/3/05 at 5:44pm

Amour

Dusoliel: I'm meek.
Isabelle: I'm in a loveless marriage.
D: I can walk through walls. I love you, Isabelle.
I: I'm in love with the man who walks through walls!
French People: Passparteur! Passparteur!
Isabelle's Husband: I f*ck whores.
D: Love me, Isabelle.
I: You're kind of a dork. I mean, I love you, too.
D: Let's have sex.
I: Okay. My husband's a Nazi.
D: Oh my God, I'm stuck in this f*cking wall.
Gary Coleman and Nicky: Schadenfreude!
D: Wrong show, assholes!

CURTAIN

#205

re: The One Minute Musical

Posted: 4/3/05 at 6:43pm

I read Doxy's one minute musical on Sunday in the Park last night! It had me howling!

"What a mystery this world. One day you love them and the next day you want to kill them a thousand times over." The Masked Bandit in THE FALL

#206

re: The One Minute Musical

Posted: 4/3/05 at 7:28pm

CARNIVAL

Lili: Well, here I am, an orphan girl from Mira, stuck at this Carnival, and that horny magician just tried to rape me! I guess the only way out is suicide!

Carrot Top: STOP, Lili! WE Love You!!!

Lili: And I Love you as well, Carrot Top! Only I HATE Paul--that evil puppetmaster!

Paul: But I AM the VOICE of Carrot Top, Lili! You SHOULD Love me as well!

Lili: Noooo... I HATE you, Paul. I LOVE Carrot Top.

Paul: Lili, let's try this again. I AM Carrot Top.

Lili: Wait a minute! I LOVE a Puppet--but I HATE the man who really IS the puppet? Oh god, I think I need Therapy...

CURTAIN

"I say YOU'RE the CUTEST one. No, I say YOU'RE the CUTEST One. And we go on like that from dawn to three."

#207

re: The One Minute Musical

Posted: 4/3/05 at 8:19pm

ONCE UPON A MATTRESS

Dauntless: Mama, WHY can't I get married?

Agravain: You WILL get married Son, we just need a SPECIAL girl for you!!!

Winifred: Well, here I am--just got here via the Moat!

Dauntless: Oh, Mama, SHE is SPECIAL!!!

Agravain: Um... Um.. OK, I'll tell you what--if a pea disturbs her rest--you can marry her.

(next morning)

Winifred: GEEZ! Where do you get your Mattresses from here around here, an Armour Factory? I couldn't sleep a WINK last night!

Dauntless: YAY! Mama, I can marry her!!!

Winnifred: And I'll get some sleep just fine on the top of this Breakfast Table.

The Jester & Minstrel: Thank GOD the Hardware Section of Wal-Mart is open all night!!!

CURTAIN

"I say YOU'RE the CUTEST one. No, I say YOU'RE the CUTEST One. And we go on like that from dawn to three."

#208

re: The One Minute Musical

Posted: 4/3/05 at 10:09pm

MARIE CHRISTINE

Greek Chorus: Medea on the Mississippi
Medea on the Mississippi
Medea on the Mississippi
Marie Christine: I'm a black voodoo priestess from New Orleans
Dante: I'm a white, mysterious sailor
MC: Love me!
D: Let's dance.
MC: I will kill my brother for you.

*goes to Chicago*

Mary Testa: There really is no need for my role, but I sing damn good!
D: I'm leaving you for my political boss' daughter.
MC: I'll be the fear of a fire at sea.
MT: Here I am again. Billy was sweet.
MC: I love my kids so much that I'm gonna kill them. Oh, yeah; I'm gonna kill your new wife, too.
D: No.
Greek Chorus (as the lights fade): Medea on the Mississippi
Medea on the Mississippi

#209

re: The One Minute Musical

Posted: 4/3/05 at 10:23pm

NO STRINGS

David: Here I am, a Pulitzer Prize Winning Author--but now I'm just a ski bum in Paris!

Barbara: Yes, and I'm a top fashion in Paris! I'm also a "lady of color"--although I'm never referred to that way in the script!

David: Well, let's have a "No Strings" Relationship!

Barbara: Done. Now what?

David: I don't have a clue--it says here in the script now we're suppossed to pretend like we never met?

Barbara: Whatever. Why don't you sing about YOUR "Sweetest Sounds"--and I'll sing about MINE!!!

CURTAIN

"I say YOU'RE the CUTEST one. No, I say YOU'RE the CUTEST One. And we go on like that from dawn to three."

#210

re: The One Minute Musical

Posted: 4/3/05 at 10:36pm

A TREE GROWS IN BROOKLYN

Johnny: I'm the local singing casanova.
Katie: You kissed me once by accident. Now I love you
Cissy: Haaaaaaaaaary!
Harry: Jesus Christ, my name's not f*cking Harry!
J: Marry me.
C: Time to fake a pregnancy.
K: Look who's dancing!

*12 years later*

Francie: I love to read!
J: I have a drinking problem!
K: I have to work as a janitor because of my husband's drinking problem.
C: He had refinement.
J: I'm dead
F: Mom, I love you. Here's my diploma. You earned it, even if you dropped out of school in the third grade.
Everybody: I'll buy you a star!

The End

#211

re: The One Minute Musical

Posted: 4/4/05 at 1:53am

DO I HEAR A WALTZ?

Leona: Well, here I am in Venice, a lonely, middle-aged American Schoolteacher...looking for some excitement.

Renato: Oooh! Multi Bella! I have some excitement for YOU!

Leona: WOW, this is TERRIFIC!!! Oh, Renato, let's get married!

Renato: Leona-I. I-. I have a wife and children.

Leona: You mean you've been screwing with me?

Renato: Yes.

Leona: Well, I've been screwed over royally, but it WAS exciting. I feel BETTER now. Home to America!

CURTAIN

"I say YOU'RE the CUTEST one. No, I say YOU'RE the CUTEST One. And we go on like that from dawn to three."

#212

re: The One Minute Musical

Posted: 4/4/05 at 10:04am

THE PAJAMA GAME

Studly Sid Sorokin takes over as manager of the Sleepy Time Pajama Facory.

The company's female employees drool. Babe Williams acts non-chalant.

Female Factory Workers: You're in love!
Babe: I'm NOT at all in love
Female Factory Workers: uh-huh

Meanwhile everyone is disgruntled and wants a 7 1/2 cent raise

Sid gets ahold of Babe and is instantly attractive and makes his move.

Sid: Wanna date Babe?
Babe: Umm, I don't the boss...
Sid: You're in love with me
Babe: No I'm not!
Sid: Yes you are!
Babe: No I'm not!

Everyone: Okay let's all take a break for the big company picnic

Sid: You're in love with me!
Babe: Okay, I kinda-sorta-like-you

Everyone: Let's take a break and go to Hernando's Hideaway

Sid: You're in love with me!
Babe: No I'm not!
Sid: You're in love with me!
Babe: No I'm not!

Everyone: Okay let's let off some 'Steam Heat' and then rally for our damned raise!

*The raise is granted*

Sid: You're in love with me!
Babe: Okay, you win - - - I'm in love with you. I'll wear the pajama tops, you wear the bottoms..Let's dance!

CURTAIN

#213

re: The One Minute Musical

Posted: 4/4/05 at 4:04pm

Thanks Chrysanthemum!

I had fun writing it, I'm glad you enjoyed reading it!

These new ones are GREAT!

#214

re: The One Minute Musical

Posted: 4/4/05 at 8:50pm

ANNIE GET YOUR GUN:

Annie: I'm a cowgirl with big red hair that was played by Reba.
Bill: I'm a cowboy with my own show.
Annie: I can shoot a rifle.
Bill: Wanna be in my show?
Annie: Sure.

CURTAIN.

(My first try, what do you think?)

#215

re: The One Minute Musical

Posted: 4/4/05 at 9:07pm

Pretty good for a first attempt, CO--go ahead and try another!

"I say YOU'RE the CUTEST one. No, I say YOU'RE the CUTEST One. And we go on like that from dawn to three."

#216

re: The One Minute Musical

Posted: 4/4/05 at 11:24pm

DAMN YANKEES

Joe: Geez, I'd sell MY SOUL to The Devil if the Senators could win the Wolrd Series!!!

Applegate: Did somebody call? No problem, Joe, I've turned you into a fantabulous Ball Player! The Senators will win the World Series FOR SURE now!

Joe: But I miss my wife Meg!

Applgate: Oh, I've taken care of that! Meet my "Assistant"--Lola!!!

Lola: And whatever Lola wants--Lola GETS!

Joe: Gee, I'm torn between my love for my wife and my lust for this strumpet! But HEY, the Senators are WINNING ballgames!

Meg: But, Joe, A Man Doesn't Know!

Joe: You're RIGHT, Meg, I'm going to use my "escape cause" and come back to YOU--right AFTER the Senators clinch the pennant!

Meg: Oh, Joe, you're BACK.

Joe: Yes, Meg. But now I have "Heart"!!!

CURTAIN

"I say YOU'RE the CUTEST one. No, I say YOU'RE the CUTEST One. And we go on like that from dawn to three."

#217

re: The One Minute Musical

Posted: 4/8/05 at 3:20am

APPLAUSE

Margo: I'm a GREAT BIG Broadway Star!!!

Bill: You're also vain and self-immersed, Margo! Get OVER Yourself!!!

Eve: Yes, Miss Channing. Pick up your wardrobe from the cleaners? Manipulate the Producer so I become your understudy? Go on one night in your place and alert the Media? Have an affair with Bill? WHATEVER you say, Miss Channing!

Bill: Margo--you've lost the lead in the new show to Eve!

Margo: Oh, that's OK, Bill! Because you and I have--SOMETHING GREATER!!!

CURTAIN

"I say YOU'RE the CUTEST one. No, I say YOU'RE the CUTEST One. And we go on like that from dawn to three."

#218

re: The One Minute Musical

Posted: 4/9/05 at 8:52am

Rodgers & Hammerstein's CINDERELLA

Cinderella: Here I sit--in my own little corner, waiting to be magically transformed into a Beautiful Princess!

Fairy Godmother: But LOOK, Cinderella--you ARE a Princess!

Prince Charming: But do I love her because she's beautiful? NO, she's beautiful--because I love her! But WAIT--she left the ball. Oh, look! She left behind ONE slipper!

Portia: That slipper's MINE!

Joy: Shaddup--that slipper fits ME perfectly!

Cinderella: Kind sir, may I try on the slipper?

Prince Charming: It fits! LOOK! You ARE a Princess!

All: Impossible Things Are Happening Every Day!!!

CURTAIN

"I say YOU'RE the CUTEST one. No, I say YOU'RE the CUTEST One. And we go on like that from dawn to three."

#219

re: The One Minute Musical

Posted: 4/10/05 at 1:55pm

PAL JOEY

Joey: Hey, I'm a no-talent heel who thinks he can charm the socks off of ANYONE!

Vera: Let's try MY socks, darling. You bewitch--bother--and BEWILDER me.

Joey: COOL Vera! THANKS for getting me this penthouse suite and setting me up with my own nightclub!!!

Vera: Cheese it, Pal. I'm BORED with you. FINIS!!!

Joey: Well, I can still write a book...

CURTAIN

"I say YOU'RE the CUTEST one. No, I say YOU'RE the CUTEST One. And we go on like that from dawn to three."

#220

re: The One Minute Musical

Posted: 4/25/05 at 4:36am

THE MOST HAPPY FELLA

Rosabella: I'm LONELY--all I want is someone who needs me! WOW, somebody left an amethest tie pin as a tip--with a crazy "mash" note!

Tony: And that-a "mash note" REALLY paid off--Rosabella's a-comin' to Napa to MARRY me!

Rosabella: Marry you--you OLD MAN? I think NOT--excuse me while I have an affair with that hunk ranch-hand! GREAT--now I'm pregnant--and HE'S skipped town! NOW What do I do?

Tony: Ah, my Rosabella. I STILL a-LOVE-a-you-DESPITE all your faults.

Rosabella: Well, that's great, Spaghetti-Head,--but for starters--my name is AMY!!!

CURTAIN

"I say YOU'RE the CUTEST one. No, I say YOU'RE the CUTEST One. And we go on like that from dawn to three."

#221

re: The One Minute Musical

Posted: 4/25/05 at 4:52am

SHE LOVES ME

Georg: I HATE Working With YOU! THANK God I have "Dear Friend"--my secret penpal!

Amalia: Well, I HATE Working With You! THANK God I have "Dear Friend"--MY secret penpal!

Georg: Hold ON--"Dear Friend?"

Amalia: Yes! "Dear Friend!!!"

Georg: Oh, God. We're REALLY in love. You can skip that part where you sing about "Vanilla Ice Cream!"

CURTAIN

"I say YOU'RE the CUTEST one. No, I say YOU'RE the CUTEST One. And we go on like that from dawn to three."

#222

re: The One Minute Musical

Posted: 5/1/05 at 12:56pm

42ND STREET

Peggy: Hi, I just got off the bus from Allentown--I want to be in a Broadway Show!

Andy Lee: Well, kid, it looks like you've got the right stuff--you're now in the Chorus!!!

Dorothy: And, KID--THANKS to you--I just tripped over you and your clumsy ankle--I can't go on with the show!!!

Chorus Kids: Wa Wa, the Show's gonna close!

Annie: Wait a minute--that new kid Peggy can be the Star!

Peggy: But I'm going home to Allentown!

Julian: Not until you star in "Pretty Lady" and its a smash!

Peggy: The show IS a Smash!!! And I owe all to--Naughty, Bawdy, Gaughty, 42nd Street!

CURTAIN

"I say YOU'RE the CUTEST one. No, I say YOU'RE the CUTEST One. And we go on like that from dawn to three."

#223

re: The One Minute Musical

Posted: 5/1/05 at 12:58pm

yes! I love this thread!

A work of art is an invitation to love.

#224

re: The One Minute Musical

Posted: 5/1/05 at 1:01pm

So go ahead and post a show, Emcee!

"I say YOU'RE the CUTEST one. No, I say YOU'RE the CUTEST One. And we go on like that from dawn to three."

#225

re: The One Minute Musical

Posted: 5/1/05 at 1:03pm

I just like it for its reading pleasure. I'm far from creative.

A work of art is an invitation to love.

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