The One Minute Musical- Page 7

[paradox_error]

re: The One Minute Musical#150

Posted: 1/11/05 at 1:19am

They should have sung "Just say no"

[LaeloftheLakes]

re: The One Minute Musical#151

Posted: 1/11/05 at 1:30am

Er...that would have been an odd wedding.

"I am special, I am special! Please, God, please, don't let me be normal!" ---Louisa, The Fantasticks --- --- Intolerant of intolerance.

[paradox_error]

re: The One Minute Musical#152

Posted: 1/11/05 at 1:32am

But fun, no?

[LaeloftheLakes]

re: The One Minute Musical#153

Posted: 1/11/05 at 1:34am

Eh...kind of scary. I'm glad I wasn't there...

"I am special, I am special! Please, God, please, don't let me be normal!" ---Louisa, The Fantasticks --- --- Intolerant of intolerance.

[paradox_error]

re: The One Minute Musical#154

Posted: 1/11/05 at 1:36am

It would have been more interesting If they'd been singing it at your conception...

[LaeloftheLakes]

re: The One Minute Musical#155

Posted: 1/11/05 at 1:46am

*chokes on midnight bowl of cereal*

"I am special, I am special! Please, God, please, don't let me be normal!" ---Louisa, The Fantasticks --- --- Intolerant of intolerance.

[paradox_error]

re: The One Minute Musical#156

Posted: 1/11/05 at 2:05am

apologies for our threadjack...

please continue with the wonderful One Minute Musicals...

[CATSNYrevival]

re: The One Minute Musical#157

Posted: 1/11/05 at 2:21am

YOU'RE A GOOD MAN, NANCY REGAN

Act One:

OVERTURE

Nancy: Hello everyone!!! I'm a good man!

Everyone: Hello good man!

ACT ONE FINALE

Act Two:

ENTR'ACTE

Nancy: Hello everyone!!! I'm a good man!

Everyone: Hello good man!

FINALE

CURTAIN

[Justice]

re: The One Minute Musical#158

Posted: 1/11/05 at 2:32am

ANYTHING GOES

Reno: Hi there! I'm Reno Sweeney. I know that people may think I was named after Reno, Nevada, but the truth is, I was named Reno, because my character is supposed to be androgynous - meaning a man or woman can play this part. (Harvey welcome to the revival) Anyway, this is a story about imposters and stowaways and love and public enemy number ones, but let's skip all that so that I can go into my tap dance. (She does) Swell!

CURTAIN

"Do you know what pledge time is, Andrew"? said the PBS Executive. "Yes", Lloyd Webber replied. "My 50th birthday special must be one program that gets done a lot." "No", mused the man from PBS heedlessy. "Not so much. Our Stephen Sondheim Carnegie Hall concert. That's a big one." Spoons, forks and knives seemed suddenly to suspend their motion in horror, all around the table.

[paradox_error]

re: The One Minute Musical#159

Posted: 1/11/05 at 4:27am

Oklahomo!

Curly: Oh what a beautiful mornin'. Oh what a beautiful arse!

Laurence: Thanks darlin'.

Curly: Come to the Tony Awards with me...

Laurence: No I cain't. I'm goin' with that big ol' bear Jud that lives in that sexy little shack...

Curly: But I thought you loved my rugged good looks. And my arse certainly looks good in tight gold pants...

Aunt Elmer: It sure does! I'll go wit' ya Curly!

Curly: Okie Elmer.

(After the Tony Awards)

Laurence: Curly, I want you back. Jud wants to take me to see Mamma Mia! and I'm not ready for that kind of committment...

Jud: Curly, Laurence is mine!

Curly: No!

Jud: Yes!

Curly: I'll stop you with the super powers of my gaydar! You big bad bear with your cheap and tacky jukebox musicals...

(Jud Dies)

Curly/Laurence: Yay!

Curly: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOK-LAHOMO!
Where the men go walking in tight pants
Where the raving queens
Have lots of scenes
And love musicals 'bout talkin' plants...

Chorus : O-K-L-A-H-O-M-O!
OKLAHOMO! yeow!

CURTAIN

[LaeloftheLakes]

re: The One Minute Musical#160

Posted: 1/11/05 at 4:31am

*dies laughing*

"I am special, I am special! Please, God, please, don't let me be normal!" ---Louisa, The Fantasticks --- --- Intolerant of intolerance.

[paradox_error]

re: The One Minute Musical#161

Posted: 1/12/05 at 12:44am

bump

[LaeloftheLakes]

re: The One Minute Musical#162

Posted: 1/13/05 at 4:01am

Okay, a long one, because I was bored!


Brigadoon:

Tommy: I'm dissatisfied with the girl I have now. Maybe that's because I haven't found my TRUE love yet...

Jeff: *gulp*

Fiona: I shan't waste my time until I see my TRUE love...if only he would walk into Brigadoon at this moment! *sigh*

Tommy: *walks into Brigadoon*

Fiona: That'll do! Hey, stranger, want to pick some flowers?

Townspeople: Welcome to our weird anachronistic town! We'll blatantly flaunt our strangeness, then be REALLY surprised when you realize something's odd!

Meg: (to Jeff) Mmm...you tall cool drink of water...want to come to my shack and listen to me talk about all the men I've done?

Jeff: Did you say drink? *gulp*

Tommy: Jeff, pay attention. This entire town is dressed like it's two hundred years ago. They all talk and behave like it's two hundred years ago. Huh. Must be nothing. *spots a book* Now suddenly I feel like there's something going on! Because these people have names I recognize surprisingly well! Not that they're all common names in Scotland, or anything.

Fiona: Tommy, are you looking at my book?

Tommy: Yes. I think there is...(drum roll)...a SECRET!

Townspeople: *gasp*

Fiona: However did you guess?

Tommy: Well--

Fiona: No one cares. Go talk to the wise old man.

Mr. Lundie: I'll fill that position, thank you. Whee, my big scene! *clears throat* The town is in the past two hundred years. Blah, blah, blah, blatant plot exposition, miracle, blah...

Fiona: Thank you. That's quite enough. *throws blanket over Mr. Lundie's cage*

Tommy: I will stay in your weird town with you, Fiona!

Fiona: Oh, Tommy!

*embrace*

There is a wedding, and a random angry dude dies

Townspeople: Oh, no! Not random angry dude!

Tommy: I can no longer stay in your weird town, Fiona!

Fiona: Why?

Tommy: I don't know, something Jeff said actually made sense.

Fiona: What was that?

Tommy: He said smarfnak. I think that means I'm afraid of my feelings. I don't know...he was pretty drunk.

Fiona: Oh, Tommy!

*embrace*

Tommy goes back to NY. NO ONE believes he will stay there.

Jeff: *gulp*

Tommy: I'm going back to Scotland!

Audience: Well, duh!

*in Scotland*

Tommy: I can't find Brigadoon! Where is it?

Mr. Lundie: Right here! Although two random guys have died to protect the secret of our town, your stupid decision is strong enough to bring us back for a day! I hope you know that means our costumes are now one day off. *glares*

Fiona: Back to your cage, old fool! Tommy, darrrrrrrlin!

*embrace*



Curtain.

"I am special, I am special! Please, God, please, don't let me be normal!" ---Louisa, The Fantasticks --- --- Intolerant of intolerance.

[Dextrous Existence]

re: The One Minute Musical#163

Posted: 1/14/05 at 11:12pm

Awwww...I miss these.

BAT BOY

(Deven May appears from stage left, flapping his arms like a bird and running around madly.)

Deven May: *makes awkward, creepy bat noises*
Audience: ...sooo...what IS this exactly?

Deven May: Well, I'm an animal that wants to be human, but the world will never see me as one, so I'm stuck as an animal. But technically, I'm really human who is just struck down with so much hatred and guilt, that I've led myself to believe that I'm an animal. So I'm really a human that is believed to be an animal or an animal that is hoping to be human...don't you see?

Audience: .........uhhh.........no. What evidence do you have that proves that you're really human then? HUH?

Deven May: *fake bat ear accidentally pops off, onto the stage*

Audience: Ooooooooohhhhhhh!

The end. Updated On: 1/14/05 at 11:12 PM

[maybethistime]

re: The One Minute Musical#164

Posted: 1/15/05 at 12:07am

Annie

Annie: I'm so lonley and poor. Adopt me, damnit.

Hannigan: I'm an old drunk. Shut up.

Grace: I'm a hoplessly-in-love stuck up secretary. Come with me, orphan.

Warbucks: I don't like you, orphan.

{time passes}

Warbucks: I like you, orphan.

Annie: I don't like you, rich man.

{time passes}

Warbucks: I still like you, orphan. And to make an extremly cheesy ending cheesier, I like you to, stuck up secretary.

Annie: What the hell, once you've gone cheesey, you gotta go all the way. I guess I like you, rich man.

Curtain. Updated On: 1/15/05 at 12:07 AM

[sipos]

re: The One Minute Musical#165

Posted: 1/15/05 at 12:19am

~SUNSET BOULEVARD~

Betty: It's just a rehash of something that wasn't very good to begin with ...

Joe: ...

(*Bang)

[Giant projection of a woman we never knew]

BLACKOUT

[Dextrous Existence]

re: The One Minute Musical#166

Posted: 1/15/05 at 12:38am

PETER PAN

Peter Pan: Haaaaay kids! My name is Peter Pan! I'm a little boy who wears tights, plays with pixie dust, likes to sing really high, and has fairy friends! WEEE!

Wendy: Oh Peter, don't let Captain Hook make me walk the plank! Wasn't I a good mother to you? I mean, really. Do you REALLY want me out of your life, where you're now going to be all alone with Michael, John, and the other lost boys???

Peter Pan: ............*shoves Wendy off the plank*

The end.

[bta212]

re: The One Minute Musical#167

Posted: 1/15/05 at 1:04am

Starlight Express--(the road show)

Curtain Up

Some bullsh**t about cats on roller skates. Harsh, unpleasant music. Badly amplified voices. Claustrophobic, painful video.

Intermission--everyone storms the box office and demands their money back.

FIN.

"They have never understood, and no reason that they should. But if anybody could . . . " --SS

[maybethistime]

re: The One Minute Musical#168

Posted: 1/15/05 at 2:49am

That was better than the show, bta! What a waste of hours I won't get back.

[FabalaCohen]

re: The One Minute Musical#169

Posted: 1/15/05 at 5:14am

Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat:

Narrator: Hi, a long time ago there was a man named Jacob who had 12 sons, his favorite was Joseph.

Brothers: We hate Joseph, since he is Daddy's favorite. Let's sell him into slavery and tell our father he died.

*Jacob mourns. Brothers celebrate. A camel appears and sings*

Narrator: So, Joseph ends up in Potiphar's house and rises in position. However, Potiphar's wife wanted to do him, but Joseph resisted her. So she gets him thrown into jail on false charges. People have weird ass dreams in jail.

Joseph: The Lord has told me what your dreams mean! And Egypt will fall into famine for seven years if we don't do something!

Pharoah: I like you. So, you are now my righthand man.

Brothers: Our family is starving! Give us some grain!

Joseph: *thinks* It's my family! But they don't recognize me at all...heh heh- I'm gonna fake them out! *places cup in Benjamin's sack*

Benjamin: I didn't steal it!

Brothers: We can't go back without him! Our father already lost one son!

Joseph: Ha ha! It's me!

*Everyone reunites and is happy. Joseph puts on his coat*

"During this performance, please feel free to let your cell phones and pagers ring willy-nilly. However, do remember that there are heavily-armed knights on stage and you might well be dragged up and impaled." (Pre-curtain announcement at the new Broadway musical Monty Python's Spamalot)

[zippyjen]

re: The One Minute Musical#170

Posted: 1/15/05 at 12:24pm

Beauty and the Beast...
You should have rented the movie!!!!



The Lion King....
Androgynous animal-human: *gibberish*
Scar: Bloody nephew.
Hyenas: WE KEEL YOU!
Simba: I hate life.
Pumbaa & Timon: We love life!
Simba: Okay, I love life, too!
Nala: ...Not after I miraculously reappear just in the nick of time!
Simba: Damn. You're Hot!!
Mufasa: CIRCLE OF LIFE, yo.
Simba: *roars*
Scar: SH*T. *dies*
Lions and their prey: *celebrate*

Curtain

"At the opening night party, they had clowns on stilts, jugglers, a chocolate fountain, popcorn, hot dogs. [My son] looked at me like I had been holding back. Like, 'This is what you do?' I had to tell him, 'No, no, darling. Opening nights don't usually look like this.' It's usually a dark bar with a bottle of vodka." ?Chitty Chitty Bang Bang's Jan Maxwell plus i proudly share the title of the shortest member over the age of 10 with wickedrentq!

[BEKA531]

re: The One Minute Musical#171

Posted: 1/15/05 at 1:09pm

haha. that lion king one was good.

[zippyjen]

re: The One Minute Musical#172

Posted: 1/15/05 at 3:17pm

Thnaks Beka- my firend alli wrote it.

"At the opening night party, they had clowns on stilts, jugglers, a chocolate fountain, popcorn, hot dogs. [My son] looked at me like I had been holding back. Like, 'This is what you do?' I had to tell him, 'No, no, darling. Opening nights don't usually look like this.' It's usually a dark bar with a bottle of vodka." ?Chitty Chitty Bang Bang's Jan Maxwell plus i proudly share the title of the shortest member over the age of 10 with wickedrentq!

[Sporti2005]

re: The One Minute Musical#173

Posted: 1/15/05 at 3:19pm

GREASE

Sandy:wow danny, wasn't summer great?

Danny:Yeah sandy, it was. but don't say it while other people are around.

Sandy:that's not very nice.

Rizzo:i'm pregnant.

Kenickie:that sucks

Rizzo:oh wait, no i'm not.

Danny:wow sandy, i like you better when you look like a skank.

Sandy:good, i'll stay this way i guess.

"grace, you're stuffed in a box getting rid of ass plaque. let's face it, this evening is a bust."

[NightLaughs]

re: The One Minute Musical#174

Posted: 1/15/05 at 3:50pm

Little Women

Jo: I want to be a writer!
Amy!: I want to be sophisitcated!
Meg: I want to fall in love!
Beth: I want to sing songs and play piano with the grumpy old man next door
Marme: I miss my husband... and wish I sang more than two songs.
Laurie: I love Jo!

~Time passes~
Jo: I'm a writer! (And engaged!)
Amy: The audience hates me!
Meg: I'm boring!
Beth: I'm dead, bitches.
Marme: Didn't I have a husband...?
Laurie:.... I love Jo!... but will settle for this Amy chick.

All gaze into the audience imporantly

*CURTAIN*

If you limit your choices to what seems possible or reasonable, you disconnect yourself from what you truly want, and all that is left is a compromise."- Robert Fritz