Well....I've finally come out to my family about me being gay and they said...

[morebroadwayplease]

Posted: 6/25/05 at 7:04pm

When my family was just playing around and joking, I said something to somebody that was critisism and my dad said back "Well, you're the one who still doesn't have a girlfriend." That's when I knew it was time to tell them.

By the way, my family and I were at a restaurant for dinner when this happened.

So, I said, "Well...I won't be getting a girlfriend...ever..."

My dad said, "Why the hell not?" He was thinking that I was joking or something.

I said, "Well, you see I...I'm...gay..."

Then there was a REALLY long silence.

"and...I've got a boyfriend already. His name is George. He's going to move in to my apartment in late summer and...we're having a pretty serious relationship."

My mom and brother said, "That's fine, we'll love you no matter what."

By the way, I HATED this! I can't believe it's like "no matter what". It's almost like I'm telling them I'm a druggie or something. I mean PLEASE! Plenty of people are gay and I'm VERY proud of it. Anyway, back to the story.

My dad was like SHOCKED! "uh...did you...um...have...sex with this George?" he said.

I answered yes, many times. He said, "Well...I'm sorry"

I was getting angry "Sorry for what?"

"For you being gay."

I jumped up from the table and said, "I'm extremely proud and take pride in being gay. If you can't handle that, it's too damn f*cking bad!"

Hopefully when I calm down and my dad gets out of this "shock" that he's in, we can talk and maybe restore our relationship. I'm more mad than upset. What do you all think about this. It didn't go so well right? Did others have similar things like this happen to them?

Updated On: 6/25/05 at 07:04 PM

[SallyBrown]

Posted: 6/25/05 at 7:08pm

Wow. High props to you, but are you sure you want to give out such personal information online?

[Thenardier]

Posted: 6/25/05 at 7:09pm

Well jumping up like you've been possessed won't make things better.

Yelling after you gave him this big news isn't going to make him accept it faster.

It means a lot more to your father (and mother) than just "having sex and dating guys."

[jrb_actor]

Posted: 6/25/05 at 7:10pm

However, your firmness that they must love you for who you are is right on. You just might find a way to make it gentler if possible.

But, I say--great thread for Pride weekend.

[Rathnait62]

Posted: 6/25/05 at 7:11pm

I don't understand why people don't realize that people finding out that you're gay have feelings too. They have to adjust, process - no one is going to have the perfect reaction. It's not any easier for them than it is for you - that's just how our society/culture is. You expect them to accept you, so you need to accept them as well.

[morebroadwayplease]

Posted: 6/25/05 at 7:11pm

BWW posters are like...my other family

So, I'm fine with sharing this kind of info

Updated On: 6/25/05 at 07:11 PM

[SallyBrown]

Posted: 6/25/05 at 7:13pm

Then by all means morebroadwayplease.

On that note, I agree with Rathnait. Well, good job with coming out morebroadwayplease...good luck with that. It was good of your mother and your brother to accept it right away, you can work on your father, in time I hope he'll come around.

[jrb_actor]

Posted: 6/25/05 at 7:14pm

And parents need time. My mother took a day to process--but she was always fine with it and knew.

My grandmother took a lot longer, but she got there.

It is a balance of respect for yourself and love and respect for your family.

[SallyBrown]

Posted: 6/25/05 at 7:16pm

p.s. while in the city today, I saw a lot of gay Pride flags handing out side windows of apartments. It was awsome. My friend was so happy his smile looked like if he died now he would have died happy.

[jrb_actor]

Posted: 6/25/05 at 7:19pm

You know what I think is nice? That no one is having "whither pride parades" debates this year on BWW. After all that has been happening in this country this past year, it seems as if people want to get out and be heard!

[Beergoggles]

Posted: 6/25/05 at 7:27pm

gay pride flags.. let me tell you something about gay pride flags! For my birthday last year me and a group friends went on a day trip to a huge city to this building where there is loads of different pubs inside it, a cinema, bowling alley... it's great! Anyway we got off the train and jumped in a taxi and gave the buildings name and off it went. We'd been going a few minutes when i started noticing all these rainbows and rainbow coloured flags... i casually remarked there must be a carnival or parade on. Two of my friends just looked at me and said are you serious? ofcourse i'm like yeah! look there's rainbows everywhere... when they informed me we were driving through the gay village i felt rather stupid... i didn't know what the rainbows were for!

[SallyBrown]

Posted: 6/25/05 at 7:28pm

hehehehe

I mean

aww that's cute.


See how much you can learn simply walking through a city?

[cturtle]

Posted: 6/25/05 at 7:28pm

TIME ... TIME ... TIME... what's happened, MBP, has happened ... give it all time ... and be strong!

[morebroadwayplease]

Posted: 6/25/05 at 7:31pm

jrb actor,
where can I get some pics of gay flags that I can use for my avatar?

Thanks guys for being so supportive. You guys are the greatest!

[Caroline-Q-or-TBoo]

Posted: 6/25/05 at 7:33pm

BTW- i like your siggy MBP!

[jrb_actor]

Posted: 6/25/05 at 7:34pm

I just googled "rainbow flag" and mine came up--you can also browse the images that search provides.

[morebroadwayplease]

Posted: 6/25/05 at 7:35pm

thanks

[morebroadwayplease]

Posted: 6/25/05 at 7:48pm

I just called and told my boyfriend the story.

He said, "Oh no, that's too bad. Well, I hope your dad calms down soon"

I said, "I hope so too honey. Have you told yours yet?"

"Yeah" He said "They were fine with it" he said.

"Oh, ok. Kiss kiss."

"Wait, how about I come over tonight, to cheer you up?"

"Ok! Great! That's just what I need!"

"Bye bye, honey."

"See ya."

I'm so glad my boyfriend is such a great guy!

[CostumeMistress]

Posted: 6/25/05 at 7:49pm

Congrats on taking a big, brave step!

Yes, there are obviously very strong feelings on both sides. My suggestion would be to perhaps write a simple note and mail it to your dad. Say that you understand that the news you told him was a pretty big piece to swallow and that obviously you both have strong feelings, then express that you don't want this fact to sour your relationship. If you keep it calm and simple, perhaps your father will be able to hear what you're saying. Whatever happens, best of luck and keep us posted!

[CostumeMistress]

Posted: 6/25/05 at 7:50pm

Oh, and your b/f sounds like a sweetie. You're a lucky guy!

[SallyBrown]

Posted: 6/25/05 at 7:54pm

Costume Mistress..I love love love your avatar!

[CostumeMistress]

Posted: 6/25/05 at 7:54pm

"About your fathers comment - and this is just a thought - do you suppose it could be he may be sorry because you will have a rough life being an out gay man?"

I think that this is a worry of a lot of parents - they just aren't always so good at expressing that sentiment.

And thank you, SallyB.

Updated On: 6/25/05 at 07:54 PM

[Beergoggles]

Posted: 6/25/05 at 7:55pm

slightly off topic- can anyone explain the rainbow?

[CostumeMistress]

Posted: 6/25/05 at 7:56pm

Um - it's this thing that shows up in the sky after a storm and it features many different pretty colors. That's a rainbow.

[morebroadwayplease]

Posted: 6/25/05 at 7:56pm

I didn't even connect that it was pride weekend. OMG! What a coincidence. Yeah my boy friend is a sweety when you talk, but and animal in the bed. hehe

The great thing is that he loves me, and I love him, and we respect each other. I can't wait till I'm living with him!